Reviews for What if: A new Legacy
IronAmerica chapter 21 . 5/6/2012
Hey, it's a new chapter! *happy face* Wait...this is the last one. Awwww... *sad face* :(

Well, people say that kids turn out like their parents... (Woulda liked Trip to become the Cape too, but this works out well. *snickers at Vince*) And there's a mini-Peter running around? With Vince's good looks? Oh dear. This can't end well...

"Of", not "over". Ages, when used as descriptors, are generally hyphenated. And *of course* they'd love their Uncle Dom! He's awesome! :D (And hey, him bullying Vince would be hilarious too. :P You *know* he's spoiling those kids on purpose. "But Uncle Dominic lets us...")

That sounds like Scales. Big and bold in public, quiet guy in private. :) I picture an English cottage-style house right there.

"The little brother" should be "Their little brother". Jolie, Julie and James? Why does this sound like my family's naming conventions...?

It took Trip thirteen years to forgive his dad...? Awkward. Or maybe I'm reading that wrong. And two sets of parents double-teaming him about not visiting enough? Ouch. He just can't win, can he?

*cracks up at Vince and Dana* You'd think Dana would at least have better control. I thought we agreed she was the level-headed one in that relationship?

Awwww. Don't feel guilty Trip; Scales is probably going to be giving you a raise in your allowance for this. He got to cuddle with Dana! Poor Vince though. *snickers*

Well, at least they're all getting along. I see that reference there! *is happy; runs away with it to put it next to the Dales bones*

Poor James. He can't win. :P Maybe they should buy him a Latin dictionary for the next game...

Locking wouldn't do it. You'd need soundproofing too, or there'd be awkward questions later.

At least they got their fun. :P And everything worked out.

I'm kinda sad that this story is ending, but I'm also happy to see this chapter. See? You got it written! It cold use a small bit of polish here and there, but you wrote it and got it posted! That's amazing!

Liked this chapter, but quibbles are noted in the review. A few commas could have been dropped or turned into semi-colons as well.

XxDeathStarxX chapter 21 . 5/5/2012
Good chapter! It wrapped the story up nicely!

I bet Vince wouldn't mind passing out again, if that's the way Orwell always takes care of him afterwards. What a way to wake up :D

I really liked the scene in which Vince tried to talk Orwell into playing his favorite game. You can't blame him of a lack of trying. Very funny!

Loved the image of a disheveled Orwell after their little game. Cute :) Nice to see that she's still teasing Vince like that. I'm sure he likes it too, no matter what he says. Haha!
IronAmerica chapter 20 . 4/15/2012
Well, you did update it. And I'm finally reviewing. *sighs*

Of course it would be. Her sister is a girly-girl, isn't she? (Maybe you should introduce her to Mirror, Mirror.) Oh, good save there Vince. Now Orwell won't make you sleep on the couch. :P

Those kids go to sleep really fast, don't they?

Nuh-uh. A nice thick quilt and an egg-crate mattress make all the difference. Although I suppose Orwell would disagree with me there. *shrugs*

That kitty is evil, isn't he? :P

He's rather sneaky, isn't he? *snickers* He's just lucky Orwell didn't clobber him.

What, no stag party? *sighs* Scales didn't try to get Vince in trouble with Orwell before the wedding? What *has* the world come to? :P

Lol. Poor Vince. He just won't win, will he? *snickers*

Awwww... This is the last chapter? That sucks. :(

Only quibbles are that you've got a few too many commas. Other than that, good chapter.

XxDeathStarxX chapter 20 . 4/12/2012
Very nice chapter!

Lol at Vince having a problem with Snow White. I've to agree with Vince, that mirror couldn't be more wrong :P

Vince's way of shutting Orwell up was definitely to my liking and it seemed to work wonders. Cute :)

The wedding scene was great and of course Vince couldn't just say 'I do', being the blockhead he is. Haha!

Loved the ending! Orwell is such a tease.

Honeymoon on a cruise ship...hmm...why does that sound so familiar? :D At least it hasn't been deadly so far, but maybe I should wait for the epilogue. lol
IronAmerica chapter 19 . 4/7/2012
Hey! A new chapter! Nice.

Of course they would be. Grandparents are right: May their children have kids exactly like them. :P

Dana's a sweetie like that. :) And Scales is probably doing his best to rub the relationship in Vince's face, isn't he?

Three years in divorce court? Why did it take so long? *is curious* It should have taken three months (at a minimum) to divvy everything up. Not three years.

Aside from Scales, who doesn't adore the carnival? Little kids would love it. And Uncle Max probably loves teaching his nieces all sorts of tricks to annoy their parents. 'specially his favorite girl.

The scenes between Orwell and Vince are rather mushy. It works for the story, however. (Seriously, three years for a divorce? That only happens in dramas and drawn-out divorces.)

Those CDs should be banned... (I'm sure Eli would agree with me.)

Overall, very sweet chapter. I liked the story of how the twins got Max wrapped around their little fingers. :3 There were the usual evil commas, but I didn't spot anything other than that.

Nice chapter.

XxDeathStarxX chapter 19 . 4/7/2012
Jolie and Julie are cute :) I really like that they've so different personalities.

The talk about vampires and werewolfs was very funny. Haha!

"'Well you can tease me all you want if I get a kiss in return,' the former vigilante grinned with a love struck expression." lol That's what I'd call a bargain ;)

Nice work! Looking forward to the wedding!
XxDeathStarxX chapter 18 . 3/18/2012
Very nice chapter!

Vince and Orwell definitely have the right idea of what watching a movie is all about :D

"Have a twin." lmao

Orwell seems to make a good Momma Bear for her four... I mean three babies ;) I especially liked the bad language around the children bit. Nice of Vince to offer washing his mouth out with soap. lol

It's great that Orwell is finally happy, having the family she always wanted, and Vince is even trying to mend the hole in her heart that her twin sister left behind, no matter how impossible the task may seem.
IronAmerica chapter 18 . 3/17/2012
Oooh! New chapter!

Of course it isn't easy Orwell. Otherwise a lot more people would be trying it. *hugs her*

If it hadn't already been established that it wasn't, I'd still hazard a guess that Orwell was still in her fantasy world- or a variation thereof. (That could explain why the show died in such an undignified way, as it was all Orwell's imagination up to that point...)

"Baring" should be "bearing". Unless Vince is walking around without a shirt on while carrying the coffee...?

I could have used that IV yesterday and Thursday... Oh Vince...

And the obligatory kitty! *hugs it* I adore cats. (But isn't that just adding to Orwell's workload? *is curious*)

As usual, the dialogue between Orwell and Vince is very sweet. :) I like it.

She's never going to get over disliking the rain, is she? Geeze. I have a feeling we'd never get along for that reason... *sighs* At least the day didn't completely suck in the end. :)

*snickers at Vince* I know people like that.

Lovely end to the chapter. Of course Vince is going to be in the doghouse for awhile. He just has that kind of luck. And really, they should have known better than to give Orwell's mum a key. (They didn't give her one, but whatever. Same idea.) It was a recipe for disaster at some point...

Aside from some commas that really shouldn't be there, this was a good chapter. Sad to see that this is ending in a chapter or two though. :(

IronAmerica chapter 17 . 3/10/2012
New chapter! Yay! *happy dance*

Poor Orwell. Wonderful way to open the chapter, by the way.

And poor Vince. All he tries to do is be helpful and Orwell tries to bite his head off. *sighs; hugs Vince*

Hooray for Natalie! I like her. :) And of course she'd get a room ready. She's a wonderful mother. Again with beating poor Vince up though, geeze. Poor guy.

No painkillers yet? That doctor better be glad Orwell hasn't tried to murder him yet.

*lols at Vince and Scales* If you weren't so darn lucky Vince, Orwell might just have taken Scales up on that offer. Now put away the camera sweetie.

And that doctor had better pray it doesn't last three days or there will be many murders in that hospital. Starting with his.

Hooray for twins! *quiets down and shuffles away from mommy Orwell* Sorry!

Very lovely chapter, and yes, it was fluffy. I think Vince is going to need therapy for all of those death threats though...


No quibbles to report at this time.

XxDeathStarxX chapter 17 . 3/9/2012
Poor Orwell, having to go through a lot of pain, but nothing worth having comes easy. At least she had a permission to take it all out on Vince :D

Lol at the camera episode. Surely one of my favorite moments of this chapter. I'm sure Vince tried to keep the camera at a safe distance, otherwise it'd be toast by now, wouldn't it? I agree with Vince that something about an annoyed, very pregnant, Orwell is endearing, but luckily for Vince, he had enough sense to keep that thought to himself ;)

The ending was touching. Looking forward to the family happiness :)
IronAmerica chapter 16 . 3/3/2012
Wooooo! New chapter!

Well, at least she's staying active... Aside from going nutty over the upcoming dinner, that's a good thing. :D

Why yes, Vince *does* clean up nicely... :) (And really, she should just humor Vince for once. It might save them time.)

And there Orwell goes again, trying too hard.

Oh oy. And according to her mother, it's apparently karma. Poor thing. *hugs Orwell*

Well, he's hopefully getting treatment at least... *sighs* Poor Peter.

Not to mention that cashews always seem to be incredibly salty. That can't have been good either. :\

Well that was nice of Natalie. :) And Vince is still being his usual squishy self. :) Always nice to see that side of him.

Lovely chapter. I'm too tired to do quibbles, but seeing as it's only the usual one or two commas, there's really no need.

XxDeathStarxX chapter 16 . 3/3/2012
Excellent work!

I especially loved the drop dead gorgeous bit :) Orwell seems to have some trouble believing that she looks like that, but maybe Vince was finally able to convince her. At least the way he did it this time really spoke volumes.

Their game about Vince being irresistible or not was my other favorite thing in this one. Very funny and cute :)

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
XxDeathStarxX chapter 15 . 2/26/2012
Excellent chapter!

A year on the couch? O.o Orwell really went all out with that threat! lol But did it deter Vince in the long run? Of course not :D I just loved it when Vince scooped Orwell in his arms after Orwell's 'I suppose so, but-'. She should've seen it coming if she so much as hinted he might be right! Very cute - especially the squeak ;)

Vince finally found a clever way to prevent Orwell from over-doing it: giving her a chance to boss him around as much as she'd like. I mean who could refuse such an offer? At least to my experience, no one :D I wonder if bossing her man around is one of Orwell's guilty pleasures too.

This chapter was definitely fluffy enough and very enjoyable to read :) I'm waiting on Orwell to pop, but the twins might want to use her as their punching bag a while longer :P Poor Orwell...
IronAmerica chapter 15 . 2/26/2012
Ooooh! New chapter! :D

Well, at least they're moved in now. (If they'd wanted to get moved in quicker, they could have asked Scales. :P)

What is it with us and threatening Vince with the couch? Hm... *shrugs*

Lovely banter between those two. Change the subject and it'd fit right into canon. *approves*

They're not even married, and they've already got the dialogue down pat. Huh. Guess ARK raiding Orwell's hideout was a good thing then. (Yeah, Vince does have a big head. It's mostly taken up by his thick skull though. :P)

Difficult comes with the territory Orwell. And so does that speech. Get used to it.

And you know Orwell's not going to be resting. There'll always be someone to attack with that blog of hers. :D (Hey, everyone would figure out Orwell's secret identity if Jamie stopped writing the blog.)

Yeah, Vince is a drama king. It fits him surprisingly well though. (Hey, he *was* the one who decided to run around in tights and a cape instead of being more proactive against Fleming.)

Overall, very nice chapter. There were a few words you could have changed, and a few commas that you missed or misplaced, but nothing too bad. It was an enjoyable read. Looking forward to more!

IronAmerica chapter 14 . 2/19/2012
Oooooh! New chapter! Yay!

Three months? Well, I'd have thought it would have taken less time, but three months work too. Nice to see Vince has become less of a blockhead. And for Orwell to get over her hang-ups too.

Christmas is a good time for making up.

Lol. Of course it's busy. :D And why hasn't Vince gone into over-protective mode with Orwell? Is it because he's too busy trouncing poor Scales at video games?

Of course they're happy Trip. And they're not fighting either. :)

Vince is a major sweetie, even if he is a bit of a blockhead. Don't annoy the pregnant lady. (Why yes, he *is* a goofball.)

Milkweed, huh? The flowers are pretty though, I have to admit...

Siblings do that, most especially my next oldest. *stares at her*

Well, at least Orwell's trying to focus on the future. *hugs her*

Overall, lovely chapter. Liked the hints of Dales in there, and Vince being his usual adorkable self. There was one or two commas in the wrong places, but those are a pain in the butt to catch anyways.

Can't wait for more.

44 | Page 1 .. Last Next »