|Reviews for Nothing In Return|
| Schloodie chapter 43 . 6/26
Hey I just finished this story in a little over a day and wanted to leave you some feedback. First of all great job! You had some really interesting ideas and they worked well together. I am normally not a fan of soulbond fics but I liked this one. I am not a huge fan of where you ended it, but it was still a really enjoyable read. Now for a bit of constructive criticism. There are several inconsistencies in this story.
For example you once stated that Harry took control of all his properties and therefore everyone who wanted to enter grimmauld place would have to get permission from Harry. A few chapters later the order still seemed to operate out of grimmauld place without problems.
Another time you stated that Sirius did actually die for a bit and that thats why the wolf recognized him as dead. You never mentioned that again. You are also inconsistent when it comes to who activated the emergency portkey Sirius or Dumbledore.
Some time later you had a chapter where Harry and Hermione discussed the prophecy only to later state that Hermione and Ron didn't know the prophecy.
Earlier in the story you acted as if it was now common knowledge that Harry was right and Voldemort hat returned as it was in canon only to change that later.
These are the ones I can think of right now, but there were more. I'm not listing all this to shit on this story. I think it is a really good story and if you ever get around to fixing some of these it will be a great one. I respect anyone who writes such a long story and I get that when you work on it for such a long time, you don't always remember everything that happened before.
So again good job, I really enjoyed this and I hope that if you ever decide to look this story over again this list might be helpful.
| Stannis is the one true king chapter 40 . 5/3
Was good, then you made Ron OP. Being under the curse wouldn't give him super magic.
| CherryBlossoms016 chapter 12 . 11/5/2015
But if Hermione were to marry Ron, wouldn't she end up hating Harry as well since she would be a Weasley even though it's by marriage. Would she really give up her friendship/ sibling-like-relationship with Harry to marry the giant prat?
| Spannerspoon chapter 43 . 8/27/2015
Oooh brilliant! Brilliantly written, I loved it!
| x.erinb.x chapter 9 . 7/13/2015
I haven't read this chapter yet. Only up to Chapter 8, but I think Ginny should be a Black. So she can be with her family and not hate Harry or the Wealsey's (save Ronald of course).
| Kane Richards chapter 27 . 6/25/2015
I'm loving the Harry and Ginny dynamic in this story but I'm finding it difficult to follow the other threads going on. Basically at this point you have Harry/Ginny and the whole finding themselves thing, Hermione/Ron and the brain thing, Remus/Sirius and the whole "i'm not really dead" thing, Ginny/Astoria and the resistance from her family and Astoria/Draco and his family thing
It's like... each of these would make for good stories in their own regard, but there's so little cross over between the threads I'm finding that if it's not Harry and Ginny talking, then I'm just skipping the whole section and I don't think I'm loosing anything from doing so.
| Hanna chapter 1 . 3/2/2015
I read the first chapter and it didn't really make me want to read more (just not my style) BUT I think you're a fantastic writer with good grammar and writing :)
| Guest chapter 7 . 12/26/2014
I'm liking this story however i'm confued by the fact that ginny owes a life debt from COS and Wealsley twins owe start up money, if this story os before OTP, Mr Weaalsley not saved from snake. Storyy line suggests from fith year which does not floow wiv cannon
| anon chapter 9 . 8/27/2014
wow, dumbledore is gone really far? Just how much?
He may be doing stuff for the greater good( hate that one-aka how its used) but he goes about it in an despicable way.
Sacrificing a dude to Safe others. No prob. Happensmall the time.
Sacrificing a dude without him knowing? Bad performance!
And doing stuff behind others back for their own good usually backfires at least as often as not.
And how blacks Kind of are an asshole of a family.
Couldnt the vault prick them as usual. Nope, it is expected that you give blood of free will( that is okay, symbolises a lot) but also expected a new vault owner knows about it?
Imagine the news. 'Last black heir(8) killed by failed attempt on vault entry' just because his parents died before they could instruct him.
Then again, here would have been a failsafe somewhere i guess.
For the last black that is.
| Ibbonray chapter 2 . 6/1/2014
Hey, just started reading this, and decided to drop a review.
This is great. Really original. I never thought about Ron being Imperiused after OotP, quite brilliant, really.
I found a few major problems, though. First, this story begins in September, and you say Ron is 16. Ron turns 16 in March. Please find some way to fix this immediately.
Secondly, why are Harry and Ginny acting all chummy even after the spell was set? Okay, maybe you didn't want to have the spell take off first thing, but that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. In HBP, Snape and Narcissa are bonded by a different Unbreakable, and that seemed to effect them as soon as the spell was cast. Why should this be any different?
Lastly- and maybe this is part of the AU experience- why isn't Snape DADA teacher and Slughon Potions? Chance, being an OC (or rather, Sirius) is confusing and utterly unnecessary (in my opinion). Sirius died, okay? He died and despite this being AU, he can't have survived OotP.
However, your writing is immaculate and the idea is fantastic. Can't wait to read more.
| SarahOlivier chapter 9 . 2/8/2014
Hermione you are an idiot you will have to chose
| flowercat05 chapter 43 . 2/6/2014
This was such a good story. Do you know yet if you are going to continue it?
| Addison chapter 24 . 8/20/2013
But if ginmy is a potter, then her family will hate her
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
| Oogies4u chapter 1 . 8/11/2013