|Reviews for YuGiOh! 5D's: Rise of the Meklords|
| Duality of Ragnarok chapter 35 . 10/9/2013
I agree with Callous Youth. Whenever reviewers give you constructive criticism, you just pass them off as flames. That's very selfish and egotistical. Kurogasa is a gary-stu and all of his fans are just blind. He has way too many positive attributes and zero negative ones (or flaws). He's too perfect. He has powers that he shouldn't have such as: having his own special Crimson Dragon birthmark, he can see duel spirts(which I beleive that only Ruka can), and he's implied to be immortal. Don't even get me started on his so called ''personality.''
He also gets his own spotlight during the WRGP and his own team which consists of a canon character and a sue named Sakura. In that same arc, he gets a personal Bruno copy that might be a clone of himself and he has a relationship with a canon character.
Kurogasa also messes with characterization. Rex was more insane and villain like compared to his canon personality, where he is someone who is very lost and magnificent (this as an actual term for characters who have bastard tendencies). Divine wasn't as much of a jealous yandere. Yusei was more stoic. Aki wasn't a princess that needed saving from herself. Jack had more fight. Placido didn't seem affably evil. Yeager was more sympathetic. You might have only seen the English dub but it's still making a parody of these characters.
Finally, Kurogasa has no flaws. I can't see one. He wins as many duels as Seto Kaiba, he's a great person, he is physically fit, he's apparently attractive, he's smarter than Crow, he has magical abilities, he's not disabled, he isn't addicted to anything, he's isn't violent and treats women well, he's polite, he got good parents even thought they were temporarily turned undead by a supernatural force, he can hide his criminal marker, he isn't arrogant, he doesn't lie, he doesn't cheat, no nothing.
This is why Kurogasa is a gary-stu. He has too many positive traits and no negative ones. He's not the hero of this story, he's the hero of another person's story.
| Guest chapter 35 . 9/15/2013
I read your goodbye on your homepage and I understand that it can be too much work to keep writing and its easy to ignore other people in your life so my advice is to take a break and maybe return to writing to a later date after you spend some time with your family and friends I hope to see you write again one day.
| Argorok chapter 35 . 7/10/2013
This is the same Argorok. I also forgot to mention, when you do the sequel can you go all the way to the Ark Cradle arc and after the defeat of Z-one?
| Ice Wolf Fang chapter 18 . 7/5/2013
What no lady and the tramp scene
| Argorok chapter 35 . 6/21/2013
Excellent story, please get the sequel up as soon as you can.
| Starlight AT chapter 35 . 5/13/2013
Well now, part one concluded huh? And what a way to end it! Nice duel. I didn't spot any errors but I shall go back in and take a look just in case! Either way congrats! Your pulling and finishing out stories faster than i am! XD
Marta: he has diligence and two-three people helping him. You only have yourself and koopa.
| Callous Youth chapter 35 . 5/7/2013
" You block anyone that says anything bad about your story without even talking about! You know what that means? It means you're a bad writer! It means that you have an ego! It means you're a coward! Your story is bad because you only care about your bad OC and how much he and Aki are in love! Is that writing? Is that heroism?! Not to mention you've treated the androids as if they are sub-human! That's disgusting! Are you telling me that Antinomy, he has no soul, he is sub-human? He's one of the most emotional characters in series! He trumps your Stu by miles, he TRUMPS AKI BY MILES! So block me, block me, but know this, in my eyes, and the eyes of people I respect, you are not a writer. You don't even care. That, that is what makes this awful!
And don't, don't ever even dare act like Rex, like Yliaster, aren't heroes in their own minds! Because that, that is UNFORGIVABLE! You have destroyed their characters, made them into cardboard, you've removed what makes them interesting characters! And you know what? I'm starting to really like Valter now, it seems my friend that through all this nonsense you've added, his soul is shining through!
And finally, finally stop blocking those that are trying to explain what you're doing wrong you coward! GIVE US HIS FLAWS OR GO HOME! WE DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT SUPER DUPER AUTHOR-CHAN PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH HIS FAV CHARACTER! Because you know what? That's really all it is right now. A young man trying to rewrite his life, to make a fictional woman his lover by undermining the very nature of the show, that nobody NOBODY is a monster," I say this evilly, prompting the virtuous author to block me, ignore me, not speak a word about it because I was so full of nonsense, of lies, and was silenced by a deletion, not fit to speak the ugly facts.
Surely this callous youth was meant to be forsaken.
| The Duelist of Dawn chapter 35 . 5/7/2013
Woohoo! The fated duel has come and gone baby! And I must say it kicks ass! I like how it came together especially with the use of the Ally of Justice monsters instead of just using the Meklords, and even stealing Lucciano's Skiel parts, which I found funny in the anime.
Anyway, then I knew the revelation of Valter's true self combined with what he wanted to do was going to cause some stomachs to churn badly.
As for Valter's dying words, pick up that phone because I called it! I knew Valter would see Akiza as someone who he had as a lover!
And a funny bit at the last part lol. Nothing left to say but great job, and I'll see you at part 2!
| DarkLord98 chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
will you need any OC's for the sequel?
| XJustified chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
Glad to see you're back
| PrincessAnime08 chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
Cool, at least Valter is gone and can't wait for part 2
| Cobalt Striker Gundam chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
SUGOI! i can't believe that this fic is finished;on top of that there's gonna to be a a Part 2 how awesome Is that! Other than the Vanguard: Kururugi Chronicles and Kamen Rider GX the Rise of the Mellords is the best of each stories off all Fen-kun! I 'll support your future stores even if their great can't wait for Part2! And also I bet it will be Greater If there would be a Kamen Rider GX X 5d's special episode of Paradox appearing, both Kurogasa from there respective time line along with Yugi, jaden, and Yusei to stop his pans now thing might blow really well someday who know. But I'll respect you decision that's just my own opinion that's all. But you rock Fen-kun!
| Raidentensho chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
very nice. hoping that jack would at least get a shot in with 'red nova dragon' in this. but i think part 2 would make it worth while. though i wonder, will another new oc use the constellar cards? just saying that i just got 29(without doubles) out of 70 from the newest hidden arsenal set. pluss the arch-type uses swarm tactics via special summoning when summoned on some of them. thus perfect to use its own Xyz monsters of the set. hope this will help set the next one up. can't wait for it. laters.
| xXYuseiXAkikoXx chapter 35 . 5/6/2013
this chapter is somewhat awkward and yet somewhat cute at the same time... can't wait for part 2 and i would love to see all the couples go on date or so :)
| Master of The Wild Card chapter 34 . 4/13/2013
Nice story so far, bro.
I read over about half of the reviews, and noticed two things that I agree could be changed:
First, the fact that Kurogasa doesn't seem to have any flaws. He seems like a Mary/Gary Sue bevause of this, and no one likes chars like that. It would have been interesting if you had made the Shine Synchro process work around something like 'letting go of the past', and then introduced an event in his past that always bothers him. Then by accepting it or letting it go, Kurogasa gains access to Shining Heart.
Secondly, the constant shift between Japanese and English. One can't exist alongside the other in a story like this. I'm working on a story like this, but I'm going to stick to English, while still keeping the Synchro Chamts from the Japanese version of the anime.
Aside from these small things, the story is good so far. Can't wait to read more!