|Reviews for Naruto's Human Revolution|
| Draco Olim chapter 4 . 4/7/2013
the story has a lot of potential, keep writing
| KnoxAingeal chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
It really is a good concept, and original. I hope you continue with the story and update as soon as you can!
| Hkblarg Et caetera chapter 3 . 10/23/2011
play the game a few times but deferentially each time
| en extase chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
Lol, what a stupid concept, made worse by terrible writing.
| This is Three Dog chapter 1 . 9/20/2011
I like the idea, just not the execution. The Kyuubi was once Adam Jensen? Seriously? There are so many plot holes in that idea alone that it makes the story feel implausable. Now I know that the intire story of Naruto is pure fiction, but as a writer it is your job to make it feel "real enough". Rather then using an established charicter (ie: Adam Jensen, J.C. Denton, or Alex Denton.) as the Kyuubi, why not have him and David Sarif know of each other, as they are both imortal apperantly, and seeing as Kyuubi does not want to die or be in a paraplegic host reluctantly divulges the information. That is just my take on this, do with it as you will.
| SuNrIsEmAsSacRe chapter 1 . 9/19/2011
Dude continue this it would mean so much i hae been hoping domeone woyld make a croosover of these 2 it justbsounds so badass
| fics-r-u chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
dude i see massive potential in this story u must make it into an completed story and not just a teaser
| StormFirestar chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
OMG OMG OMG! Please continue this!
| Kamigawa Nagamaki chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
honestly this story seems a bit far-fetch
jensen as kyuubi is hard to swallow
sarif alive is even harder but something about this fic seems interesting i will admit personally i think this story will be difficult but i will wonder how you will surprise me
| The Lunar 9 Tailed Fox chapter 1 . 9/16/2011
PLEASE continue this story it read epically and I want to konw how it ends.
| Raikou Kusanagi chapter 1 . 9/13/2011
| EDelta88 chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
Suggestion: leave Kyuubi be and replace the augs with VERY advanced puppet parts. Tsunade could go to Chiyo from Suna to have it done (Chiyo would accept just to have the accomplishment to hold over Tsunade) or, if you feel like going a darker route, Sasori could find him and turn Naruto into a masterpiece of sorts.
Just thought I'd toss that out since it would make a little more sense that Kyuubi being Jenson
| Jetstream S chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
I've been looking for something like this for quite awhile now, but unfortunately, you might just not be the one to pull this off. At least, not for me.
I know this is a teaser and all but it all seemed VERY rushed. Instead of calmly going from point A-B-C, it went A-C-B and some D in the mix.
The Title, Naruto's Human Revolution sounds a bit unoriginal. Might have to fix that... Something that doesn't blatantly tell the reader which elements this will involve. Also, it's not much a human revolution if Naruto is the only guy with Augmentations, so that part of the title makes no sense. Maybe a title like "Heritage" or something of the sort.
The whole 'Kyuubi-is-Adam-Jensen' is just...
...Unless you come up with a solid, believable reason, I'll just ignore this part of the story.
Another error is the blatant spelling and grammar mistakes. It'd be VERY good for you and your stories to get a Beta reader.
How did David Sarif survive the whole End-of-the-world-as-we-know-it? If Naruto's injuries looked like Jensen's, how is he able to talk, hell, survive?
I recommend that you read more stories to improve your writing. It's not the worst, but it's barely good. I'm being honest, albeit harsh, here because this can't go on, especially if you want to keep writing.
Also... No. Chat. Talk. On stories. You can't write "u" in this.
I have hope, albeit low, that you'll take this advice to heart and will look to improve yourself. From what I've read, you can come up with some pretty good ideas. Don't put that potential to waste.
I'll subscribe to it, but if this turns out like the teaser...
It'll be a huge shame. Good luck.
| the heart of oblivion chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
intriging idea, most of the reviewers have stated almost everything but one idea you could use is slowly make the elemental nations a bit more advanced technology wise as the story progresses, if you do a pairing i suggest you do a poll because everyone has a fav., i myself like naruto and ino together the most, and for a title how about Deus Ex Ninja Revolution, these are only ideas so you don't have to use them. good luck
| soniccartoonsunite chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
write this storie and you will be on my AWESOME list and its hard to get on there