|Reviews for Kingdom Hearts II: Proof of Existence|
| Lord Darth Yoda chapter 15 . 7/2
Sorry kept forgetting to review this!
Glad you explained Kairi getting her Keyblade better than the game did. I assume Riku will get it from wherever it landed and give it to her later. Makes more sense this way. I also like how her getting the Keyblade probably has a lot to do with DiZ seeing those memories.
| LaughingPrincess88 chapter 15 . 6/19
I've been reading this off and on, and gave Seeker of Darkness a look over, and I really liked what I saw. I'm going to sit down later and give both stories a complete readthrough. I love the extra details you've added in, and the emotions you've written feel real.
I'm also incredibly creeped out by your versions of Ansem/Xemnas. I consider Canon Xehanort to be borderline obsessed with Sora, given the behavior of your two halves of him, your version will likely be VERY obsessed with him. Is there a child protection service we can call? In all seriousness though, Ansem was much creepier than the in game version and Xemnas...well he's always creepy. I commend your writing skills in making the characters more emotional and the villains look even more like stalkers.
| R. Recollect chapter 15 . 6/16
Ok- first off, regarding DiZ's backstory- called it. Totally called it. You showed DiZ's change of heart when it happened. In the game, the first time we see him he was totally anti-Nobody. And then near the end, he says he's sorry to Roxas for all the crap Ansem put him through. It's nice to see the character development on his end taking place between those two points in time.
You detailed Sora's anguish very well when he found out that Kairi got kidnapped. Saix was his usual spectacular apathetic self, and I couldn't help but feel that just made the situation worse for Sora. No matter how angry Sora gets, Saix is never going to respond with any emotion. It's like talking to a brick wall. He didn't get any answers, just more confusing and cryptic questions that he's getting real freakin' tired of.
Ohoho! Kairi's got her Keyblade? Nice. It just didn't feel... legitimate when Riku gave Kairi her Keyblade just like that. Just having it appear like the magical thing it is was actually a more legitimate move on your end, Mars. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that she doesn't have full control over it yet, at least not until her own Dive to the Heart. Y'know, when Keyblade Wielders visit the Station of Awakening? Even then, she's still a novice, but then again, so was Sora during his first adventure. She'll be dishing out combos and locking Keyholes in no time... Assuming Sora doesn't get them all first. She'd be really mad at him, I imagine. I have a feeling that with her new Keyblade, she won't just sit there in the Castle Dungeon waiting for Sora to save her. But once again, she hasn't undergone a Dive to the Heart, and to boot, she's in the final dungeon! This is NOT going to be easy for her.
This was good, but I think what we're all waiting for is the Hollow Bastion bit! This was just an appetizer! We want the main course! I have a feeling you're itching to get on with it too. Still, this was a good chapter, and it's appreciated as always. Good work, Mars.
| Krystie.T chapter 15 . 6/16
Just started to read this series, and I am loving the bits of alteration you've done! I especially like seeing things in the perspective of Kairi, Axel, Namine, and the bits and pieces with Roxas. Also, I agree that it wouldn't make sense for Goofy and Donald to just not be found strange by people in Land of Dragons and Twilight Town! A bit more anger in Sora is also sorely missed in the original game, so reading this has been an adventure! Now I'm going to check out your other stories because I like the way you write!
| Mr. Martin chapter 15 . 6/16
This was AWESOME!
I especially liked how Kairi manifested her Keyblade on her own instead of having it handed to her by Riku (she did after all go through a Bequething with Aqua, however accidental).
That scene with "DiZ" and Namine was great too, I hope we get to see more of his side of things leading into the finale.
Until your next chapter,
Hugh D. Martin
| Lord Darth Yoda chapter 14 . 5/29
Liked your version of Disney Castle. The backstory for everyone works better than the canon one I think. It also makes me wonder what the heck Mickey does when he's not on-screen. I don't think we've ever gotten an answer for why he's in the Realm of Darkness at the end of KHI or if he remembers the BbS events.
| Lord Darth Yoda chapter 13 . 5/29
Really Donald? Santa being real is totally unbelievable?
Glad you shortened Halloween Town. Its one of those that the game really didn't need in the long run. Yet the series keeps going back to it.
I like the last names you gave the golden trio and I like getting inside Kairi's head here. You're right, this is when the game finally picked up the drama I'm kind of hoping you expand Kairi getting her Keyblade, it was so out of nowhere in game and didn't make sense until two games later. And that's even if you pay enough attention.
| R. Recollect chapter 14 . 5/28
This was damn good. Way to go, Mars!
First off, Disney Castle's re-write was very, VERY well done. The downfall of Maleficent and Pete's happy ending were exceptional closures for their respective characters. The dead stay dead, and nobody's getting revived just because they're too popular. The return of the Dragon Form made for a spectacular battle, and the intrusion of the Organization like that was a very, very welcome change from the canon, and speaking of which...
The flashbacks into Pete's, Minnie's, and Mickey's pasts were gushing full of detail. You gave Pete such an excellent origin story that I honestly felt bad for him. He had his whole livelihood just destroyed, and the person responsible just literally becomes king of the world? It's just not fair. And nobody gave a single damn. It was easy for Maleficent to use him like she did. She exploited Pete, and killed Minnie's folks. It's a much better, non-convoluted story than Timeless River. Time Travel wasn't really well-handled until Kingdom Hearts 3D. Personally, I don't think Timeless River was an actual time travel. To me, it was actually delving into the very consciousness of the Cornerstone of Light. Still, that thing was just a MacGuffin to begin with.
And as for Mickey's rise to becoming an accomplished Keyblade Master, that was also a nice sign that we're running headlong into the fruit of the story. Ansem was much more cool-headed when telling Xehanort not to proceed with the experiments, but it was clear that he remained woefully ignorant of what was really going on. Xehanort, for his part, actually seemed to be trying to reach out to Ansem. Their father-son relationship only cuts all the more deeply for Ansem after what happened in Hollow Bastion.
Finally, we have Kairi. For starters, she's not just blindly going with Axel as she's kidnapped. She's asking Axel questions, playing the Stoic, and igniting (pardon the pun) what may or may not be actual feelings of empathy inside Axel. She now knows what Nobodies are, and she wants to solve Axel's dilemma almost as much as she does. Minus killing Sora of course. Once was enough already.
Also, concerning the report to Number I, you've got VII's and VIII's numbers switched. Axel is Number VIII. The Luna Diviner is Number VII. Just letting you know. Also, there were a bunch of other spelling errors, but in the grand scheme of things, these are inconsequential and don't really ruin the pacing of the story at all.
And now we're about to enter a full-scale war in Hollow Bastion. Let the sparks fly!
| Spitfire-Snail chapter 14 . 5/28
Greetings to Mars.
I enjoyed this chapter very much (as I do all your other writings!). The way you brought in Pete and his backstory was pure brilliance. The amount of thought you've placed into this retelling (what with Minnie training under Yen Cid, the sinking of the steamboat leading to Pete joining Maleficent, etc. not to mention in the story as a whole, every chapter) is rather astounding, and it shows just how dedicated you are to this project, so I thank you for that. (If I may correct you on one detail: In the last section, you refer to Saix as No. 8, but he's No. 7, and Axel is No. 8. It confused me before I realized the error, so I thought you might want to know. Other than that the chapter was as lovely as they always are!)
I hope you and yours are faring well, wherever you fare, and happy writing! I look forward to the next chapter!
| Mr. Martin chapter 14 . 5/28
Well that was certainly different. Not any less good than your usual work but definitely different.
I actually enjoyed the whole going back in time thing, I was kind of cool seeing what our heroes looked like in retro animation.
Plus Disney Castle has always had my absolute favorite world theme.
Until your next chapter,
Hugh D. Martin
P.S. "Who's the leader of the club that made for you and me..."
| viralhybrid29 chapter 13 . 5/1
Loving your work, as usual. So good to see a new update so soon. I liked this Halloweentown a little better than the canon one.
| Mr. Martin chapter 13 . 5/1
Halloween Town is always a fan favorite. I'm kind of hoping we get to go there again in KH III I just love Sora's expression through the whole place.
And now we're getting into Kairi's part in the story. I LOVE her story arc in KH II because she stops being the damsel in distress and becomes...well you gotta find that out in KH 3D (no spoilers for those who haven't)
Until your next chapter,
Hugh D. Martin
| R. Recollect chapter 13 . 4/30
You managed to make the visit to Christmas Town even more special. I'm pleased to see that you didn't just "resurrect" Oogie Boogie like in the game. I mean really? Since when can Maleficent just magically bring people back to life?
Anyways, you also made the Experiment a more sympathetic creature by having it die a cruel death at the hands of Xaldin. The analogy made between it and the Nobodies really affected Sora- and me. It brings the words of a certain AI Researcher to mind: If, according to Descartes, a human being is essentially a Machine Body inhabited by a Ghost Mind, then wouldn't the opposite be true? A Ghost Mind and a Machine Body wouldn't necessarily be human, but it WOULD be a person nonetheless. That experiment knew that it lacked a heart, and it wanted one. As for whether or not it COULD obtain a heart, the best answer is that the understanding of the heart is beyond human reach. I'd citate the person who said that, but that would be telling, no?
Donald's shattered skepticism was absolutely priceless. I bet he's revisiting all the times he ever said there was no Santa, or anything that might've put him on the Naughty List. That begs the question: What ELSE is out there?
And as for Kairi's bit, it's refreshing to see her wonder why she DIDN'T jump over with Sora onto the other side back in KH1's ending. She missed her chance for adventure, dammit! At least she's going to get her hands dirty now in the KH3 game, but still. It has to be frustrating for her to just wait for Sora and Riku to come back. And then Axel comes along. You didn't give too many details as to who interrupted that kidnapping, but it probably is who I think it is.
You've gotten how many worlds out of the way now? It's gotten to the heat of the moment a lot quicker than I thought it was, but unlike the game, substance hasn't been lost. Looks like my belief in this story is going to pay off. Not that it was ever a gamble in the first place.
...and now I sound like Luxord. What a cliché I am.
Good job, and keep it up!
| Ea4g chapter 13 . 4/30
It's really good to see you writing again. You have no idea how happy this makes me.
| Lord Darth Yoda chapter 12 . 4/19
Nice flashbacks to the ASoD speech. Never made the connection with PotC but it makes a lot of sense. Poor Luxord, he gets so little screen time.