Reviews for Rosario to Bakemonogatari
Orchamus chapter 1 . 1/21/2012
Interesting start, I look forward to seeing how you work this.
Akuma-Heika chapter 4 . 11/29/2011
I like the Negima xover you use in both stories with bakemonogatari! I think you are the only one to use it and it works! On your question of a 30 person harem...I would usually say it is a bad idea because it is VERY hard to write a massive harem well...so far you are showing the proper skill to pull it off so if you want to do it go for it! As for a beta reader I would probably be willing to do it starting in January and once I finish making the requirements. The only one I am missing is a author of 5 stories or a total of 6000 words used for my reviews. I am working on the reviews but have no idea to my current word count. If I am still unable to do change my status to include beta-reading by January I will probably write crappy one shots to make it up lol.

Pactios...if you come up with good ideas for the artifacts it would probably be OK. A NarutoNegima xover called Naruto Chaos Mage lacks inspiration for original pactios. On a side note it recently received its first lemon: a 3P with Naruto, femKyuu, and Eva!

Last request: GIVE US PROPER LEMONADE NO ONE LIKES LIME JUICE!
Akuma-Heika chapter 1 . 11/29/2011
"both enjoy a two hour bath consisting of laughter and moans." limes are evil give us lemons or give us death! lol. I like harem route and I think Koyomi should be by himself. If he gets a roommate ruins dynamics with Shinobu.
Zev06 chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
I don't have a lot to say at the moment, but I do have a little constructive criticism. When you first introduced Koyumi in the opening paragraph,and Shinobu as well, your description felt like it kinda dragged on. It would have been better if you had managed to split the description into two separate sentences. You will usually want to try to keep the number of commas in a sentence to a minimum. Most of the time you will be best off keeping them down to 2 or 3 tops before starting a new sentence. You don't want to make the story seem too choppy with too many short sentences, but a good balance would do the story a lot of good.

In the case of your introduction with Koyumi I would have tweaked what you have into something a little more like this:

Koyomi Araragi, age 16, was seated at a local bus stop waiting for a school bus that was supposed to take him to his new academy. He had fair skin and medium length black hair, styled with an ahoge*, that covered his left gray and blue eye. He was dressed in a white button up with a green shirt underneath, accompanied by a pair of black pants and gray shoes. He sat there for 30 minutes waiting for the bus to arrive, pondering what his school would look like, and asked himself how he got enrolled there in the first place.

Personally, I feel the way I have tweaked the above paragraph flows a little better than what you originally had. Your intro of Shinobu could use a similar style of tweaking.

A feminine voice disrupted Koyomi's reverie. The young vampire turned to the source, seeing a 12 year old girl literally popping up from his shadow. The pale skinned girl wore a pink summer dress with a black ribbon in the torso, a golden necklace around her neck, and left her feet bare to the ground. On top of her head sat an aviator's cap with goggles that covered her waist length golden hair, whose tips curved up at the end. She was almost a perfect example of a lolicon. Her golden eyes stared up at Koyomi for a good amount of time, hands at her hips, a light smirk forming on her face, before finally speaking.

Once again I merely tweaked a word here or there and, most importantly, split your descriptive sentence in two.

This is all I have to say for now since it is late where I am at and I'm tired, but I'll most likely review again tomorrow sometime when I get around to reading more. Right now, all I can say is that I like the premise behind the story. Nice job of the idea.
Adolthered chapter 4 . 9/9/2011
This story is amazing!. Please update as soon as possible. I beg you!
Dragozilla chapter 4 . 9/8/2011
Awesome story so far. And yes, I liked the Nefia crossover and refrence. Update soon!
Ksakep chapter 4 . 9/7/2011
Hi, TrixBella!

1) Chapter 4 is really big You have a great speed of writing.

2) Negima crossover is really amusing. Pactio system will be a mess, because it's Koyomi, not Negi. He's 17, not 10. And he's already kissing and will do more (I think so), and he hasn't a familiar like Chamo. Adding more Negima is unnesessary now. It's, at first, a Bake crossover, not Negima.

3) I'd guessed it'll be Ruby from the start of this chapter (_). If you add her in Koyomi's harem (now I think you'll surely add her), please, add her masochistic nature as well!

4) DON'T FORGET ABOUT BAKEMONOGATARI FEMALES (Nadeko, Tsubasa, lesbo-Kanbaru). Add them to the plot, really!

5) So, it's time to write another chapter. Harem of 30 persons? Hmmm... 6 main Bake girls. 6 main RV girls. Because we don't want to kidnapping girls from Negi-sensei (_), Negima girls is out of plot. I think 12 will be enough for now. More females will be hard to balance, I think.

6) I was professional beta-reader for 2 years, but in Russian only, because I'm Russian. So, It'll be hard for me to help you with betting.

7) Good luck! We're waiting for chapter 5! And 6! And 7,8,9,10... *_*
Alternate Rouge chapter 4 . 9/7/2011
as expected of you... you really did a thorough job in this one... though i should say it is a bit too fast for both araragi and moka... regardless about that... you perfectly handled things specially crossover from negima...

waiting for new chapters!
Ranmyaku-Kiritsu actual acc chapter 4 . 9/7/2011
Bonjour! Comment ça va?

Ah-hem, anyways I totally like this idea! And the story is pretty good so far too (I would volunteer to be your Beta, but sadly I can't), a few errors here and there (as always, should be expected). Although I feel inclined to point out (don't really care if you ignore this) but Koyomi (after becoming a vampire) incinerated and regenerated a couple dozen times when he first went out in the sun, anyway your updates are crazy fast (like seriously) and I'm looking forward to your next chapter!

Au revoir!
Daiske chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
Should have made this a Tsukune & Araragi duo fic. It would have probably gained you double the readers. I have zero interest since Tsukune has been removed.

Also noticed what the reviewer below stated about the past and present mix up. If you can't get a beta then try one of the many online grammar checker programs. Most are free to use as well.
Dayeon chapter 3 . 9/6/2011
This is a great story combining two of my favourite series into one. I love the Koyomi x Shinobu scenes! Keep it up.
hugp1x chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
You have MASSIVE tense issues, sometimes even switching between past and present in the same sentence.

I didn't even get further than the second paragraph and I'd already spotted several errors...

You'll no doubt get many 'positive' reviews from bottom feeders who can barely read let alone read the English language, but don't get excited. Getting a competent beta can be a bit of a hassle, but it'll make your fic infinitely better.

A good crossover idea, bakemonogatari is hilarious! That all means jack though with such poor grammar.

I don't mean to flame, just trying to help you improve your writing :/
Alternate Rouge chapter 3 . 9/6/2011
i'm genuinely fascinated by this fanfic... to tell you honestly i have high expectations... looking forward seeing hanekawa! that cat girl!
Druss the Legend chapter 3 . 9/6/2011
sweet! i'm genuinely interested in how this series will progress...

Koyomi's character works really well here. can't wait to see how this will turn out...

good job!
Nghtwng77 chapter 3 . 9/6/2011
Well at least Saizo was good for something. O.O

Great chapter, the Saizo part was brilliant, and the interaction with the vampire trio was seemless. Though I wonder if inner-Moka gets that Shinobu is really powerful. Can't wait for the others to start trickling in. I imagine Kurumu might be the hardest to add, ass she has not 1, 3 vampires to compete with. Or that might just make it all the more interesting.

Can't wait for he second half of the chapter!
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