|Reviews for Vis Insita|
| haley97 chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
I just finished reading both this story and it's predecessor and I've got to say, I'm surprised this doesn't have more views. As a rule, I'm not at all a fan of OC's because for the most part, they're usually not well done. But surprisingly, I have come to view Scott, Lila, and Sophia as fully fleshed out characters and I applaud you because not many writers can do that.
I'm subscribing to the story so I'll make a point to review each chapter as it comes out. As of now, I'm enjoying where the story is going. I love the addition of Sophie to the story and can't wait to see more of her. Also YAY because Kylie is finally starting to talk.
All in all, I think you're doing a fantastic job for the story. Your OC's are fleshed out and real, you have nicely written female characters, and your writing is dramatic yet humorous. I find myself laughing every time Scott opens his mouth. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for the update.
| RedEuthyphro chapter 11 . 11/28/2013
Great chapter. Well-paced, and I was happy to see Sophie return-adds an extra interesting dynamic to the story.
As far as the Bechdel test, I wouldn't put a whole lot of stock in it. Your portrayals of women are generally far better done than a lot of what's out there in terms of their complexity/actually being people. And that's at least to me more important than the Bechdel. Also, you're working with source material that itself only barely passes-which is itself an illustration of the test's flaws, as Hermione would/should score big points if we were asking how feminist the series is. Long story short, I think what you're doing is working well.
| Yami Umi chapter 11 . 11/23/2013
Really, the test is bullshit; I mean, if a woman is the main protagonist (yes, it's redundant but effective), then you pass the test by default... but if she is secondary character, as it's normally the case (hell, even Hermione or Ginny could be considered secondary, as Scott and Harry are the real primary ones. Which is a strange concept, as of primes and everything), then in fiction, you should know, as you just said, a secondary charater's appearance revolves around the main character in SOME WAY, direct or indirect, otherwise it's just wasted text. And if the character it's a male... well, you get the idea. There are limited ways you can do a scene like that, and it doesn't really affect anything, so what's the point? You can't very well do girls talking about the plot alone without involving the main character (Harry Potter Series, remember?), so it's a ridiculous concept. Two girls talking about period pains, or anything strictly female in this situation doesn't really add up to anything; it would be like Harry and Ron suddenly stopping the plot thickening to talk about the chances of Chudley Cannons in the next season, or the size of their penis or something (don't even get in there).
By the way, I'm a guy. And your writing rocks.
| TimeShifter chapter 11 . 11/19/2013
This was a good chapter for relationships. I realize it doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, but I was happy to see Ginny's perspective at the beginning of the story. You did a good job encapsulating her feelings and motivations in this story, and while it might be just about Harry, he's one of the most important things in her life. It was touchy and romantic, there were a few good lines that struck me as being how a woman her age would think, and there was even a bit of humor in there. Ron's piece was also well done, considering he's usually the under-used member of the Golden Trio in fanfiction, and receives the same treatment in the foursome.
If you want to pass the Bechdel Test you've introduced another good character; Sophie. Perhaps Hermione gets a chance to discuss Sophie's job, which gives her more insight into how their organization works and why Scott's the way he is (without him being the focus). Maybe Ginny talks with her about being perceived as a capable, independent women. Maybe the three of them sit down and discuss a mission Sophie was on. Or Sophie gets Kylie to open up just a little bit from her trauma. There's some definite possibilities to pass the test without forcing it. You'll just need to see how adding Sophie to the mix changes things.
For now though, I will admit (as one of your male readers) that I'm very interested in how Harry and Ginny's conversation goes, and what Ron saw in the locket. Plot progression is awesome (and this chapter definitely had it!), but sometimes I just want character depth.
| Nifty Niffler chapter 11 . 11/19/2013
Personally, I like the characters just the way they currently are. I'm not familiar with the Bechdel Test so can't really comment in regards to that. Love the chapter. Interesting effect of the locket, to affect them all simultaneously. Can't wait for that convo between Harry and Ginny.
| Opaque-Cavalier chapter 11 . 11/18/2013
Another great chapter. I really like how you described the horcrux defenses - it was precisely what would shatter Harry's self-confidence and will.
| marinka chapter 11 . 11/18/2013
I don't care about the test that much, but I do care that your Ginny comes across very shallow at times. Sometimes she is very mature and invite flu, like with her musings around Harry, but most of the times she is just not herself. Like with her knickers comment in this chapter, I don't think she would have forgotten about the danger they are in to relax enough to make a loud comment like that. Also, when you had her wondering around with nothing to do, I was thinking: why doesn't she learn more healing spells or something useful? You would think that having to prove herself she would try to become part of the team by doing something that only she can, besides looking after Harry's mental health.
I just hope that you put some positive spotlight on her, as she has a role to play.
| ihatesnakes chapter 11 . 11/18/2013
Excellent, as always!
| nothyme chapter 11 . 11/18/2013
Female. Don't pander to me, make the story organic. Tests are made for failures or there is no test, which is stupid.
Great work, keep it coming.
| Zephyr5 chapter 11 . 11/18/2013
Honestly, as one of your female readers, I wouldn't worry about it. I can't really think of any conversation that would take place between two of the female characters, not involve reference to any of the male characters, and still be relevant to the overall story.
As for caring...it kind of depends what you're wondering if you should care about. Should you care that your portrayal of women meets some arbitrary (and acknowledged as not being a one-size-fits-all test) criteria such as the Bechdel? I'd say no, because I don't honestly think that the Bechdel test is an appropriate one for this type of story - the situation is so far past 'normal' that I'd be extremely worried if all the female characters were sneaking off to random corners to complain about the weather or what is/isn't on TV etc.
Should you care that your portrayal of women is done realistically/believeably/well, on the other hand, then yes, I do believe you should care about that. But only in the same way that you should (and already do) care that your portrayal of men is done realistically/believably/well, and the rest of the writing, for that matter.
So, yeah. TLDR summary? No worries. Keep up the good work!
| IHateSnakes chapter 10 . 10/29/2013
Great work...don't leave us hanging, mate!
| IHateSnakes chapter 9 . 10/29/2013
Keep up the good work!
| IHateSnakes chapter 8 . 10/29/2013
Great read. I'm looking forward to more.
| IHateSnakes chapter 6 . 10/28/2013
Excellent, as usual. Yes to bringing Sophie back, no to quotes (sorry). As for N&L, I like how they share time. Keep it up. ihs
| IHateSnakes chapter 4 . 10/28/2013
Great so far.