|Reviews for Vis Insita|
| Wren Truesong chapter 22 . 10/14/2014
My my. My goodness gracious my oh.
This was NOT what I was expecting last night when I rather boredly clicked on the only title in my PhoenixSong update email, which I only still have because I never bothered to turn it off because it's an email I don't much use anymore.
I was just out for something different. I certainly got it, and I ENJOYED the experience! XD
Scott and Lilah and Sophie all surprised and delighted me, and you really have a beautiful handle on our Six. You do marvellously with Ginny in particular given how little we have to go on, and I must admit I fell into giggles when you mentioned the Bechdel test.
And your Girl Talk with Hermione was GREAT. XD
I'm going to have to keep an eye on this one. Thanks for sharing!
| Lessa-W chapter 22 . 10/11/2014
Have loved you story so far , you are doing an awesome job developing the characters and their relationships in a why that pulls a reader in . Love how long the chapters are too!
| Inoeth chapter 22 . 10/4/2014
This chapter felt a lot closer to the original chapter than others, but with your own twists and changes that ultimately enhance the original story and plot.
I am very curious to see more changes to the HP characters in terms of their thoughts and actions, along with more and larger changes to the full story as all the little changes that have occurred ripple out to change far more.
Given that you are keeping many aspects of the original story such as the horocrux hunt and where they are located, some things do have to be effectively just a re-write with a few changes and enhancements, such as this chapter, but I do sort of feel that there should be more changes and that by this point in the story, the story should be looking far less like the original novels than it currently does.
Although you're doing an admirable job in continuing this story and trying to do more original things than most, I find that my biggest fault with fanfiction stories is the fact that so many people change something in the original and then fail to truly appreciate how those changes can completely change the entire story from there on out.
I'm rather curious as to when and how this story will end, and how close to the original novels it ends up being.
In any case, keep it up and thanks for being one of the very few authors with long unfinished stories to actually continue to update and get closer and closer to finishing.
| Yami Umi chapter 22 . 9/30/2014
I got really surprised when i got to the page and suddenly found two chapters of Vis Insita updated. For some reason, the first update must have eluded me, though I have no idea how exactly that happened (I usually check at least once every day, two days top).
And past tense rules. For me, narrative is more natural like that, though I don't know if it's some small and very slight reasoning my inconscious have predeterminated, or if I just got used to it and prefer it that way now. Most of the good books I have read, as long as they're a narrative, of course, were written at past tense, so... (I'm looking at you, Joanne K. R.).
By the way, two things: I much prefer long one-shots than small and curt ones. An Eight thousand words story sounds about right for me, every now anx then.
And, for last, don't know if You're into the genre or not, but Cuckoo's Calling is a little good book, and I recommend it to anyone who is afan of Rowling's work. I enjoy the main character way too much, and for some reason, I think you'll also enjoy the company of Cormoran Strike. There is a second book already, if you like the series (shr plans to make at least seven). Can't wait for the third, to be honest...
And finally, good chapter, though with your next update I'll bring something that came to mind about your story. I'd like to see your thoughts on it. Til then, see ya!
| Nifty Niffler chapter 22 . 9/30/2014
Nice chapter. Looking forward to seeing what happens when they get back to get rid of the horcrux.
| Opaque-Cavalier chapter 22 . 9/29/2014
Another horcrux captured and a Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller reference! Well done Sir. Of course, I was kind of hoping for running gun battle (with suppressors of course)...
| sylvelle chapter 22 . 9/29/2014
It was great, found myself telling them "room of Hidden things" I don't think they heard but you did. Good chapter
| IHateSnakes chapter 22 . 9/29/2014
Excellent, as always, and the perfect anodyne for a crappy day at work. One possible mistake in your first sentence: Harry probably had a lot of interaction with Prof Binns, the History of Magic teacher. Or maybe he slept through the classes like Ron. Can't wait for the next installment! ihs
| InfiniteDragon chapter 22 . 9/29/2014
For what it's worth, you are NOT the only one who's noticed that, and despaired. lol
Honestly, I think all your points are at least partially responsible. Plus, at least in some cases, the general lack of education. Not that most educators (at least the ones I know) don't TRY, but you have to be willing to pay attention in English class, or to pay attention to what you're reading and how it's written, for that to work.
But yes, that is standard- third- (or first) person past-tense. Anything else is a severe enough jar that a single sentence in present-tense can draw me right out of a story, and in some cases has been enough to turn me off of an otherwise well-written story forever.
So again, not just you.
As far as Vis Insita goes: I like how you played the use of a Muggle Repelling (or X Repelling) Charm into the story, and showed only the effects without explaining it, leaving it for the readers to figure out (and eventually Harry). :)
I'm also looking forward to seeing the other Kharadjai's reactions to the diadem, especially when it's awake and defensive. :)
| Lone Wolfe 82 chapter 20 . 9/5/2014
Thank you for writing a story that has consumed my entire week. I find it brilliant, and so unlike anything else that I've read. I'm almost disappointed that I'm all caught up, because now I have to wait to find out what happens next. (Reminding me, yet again, why I try to avoid WIPs... lack of patience!)
As for the question of interactions with Muggle locations, I don't mind it, but I also feel that it has the potential to get repetitive, since the Primes are all more or less clueless about Muggle stuff. Then again, nothing you've written here has been boring or repetitive, so I doubt this would, either.
(Also, as an aside, I think I prefer Scott as an adult as well.) Either way, wherever you take this tale, just keep writing it!
| Lone Wolfe 82 chapter 19 . 9/3/2014
All right, your story has eaten most of my week. I am one of those terrible people who lurks and rarely says anything, because I am convinced that no one wants to hear it. However, I find myself compelled to review.
I'm loving this story. I like how you have incorporated your OCs without making them take over the story. I really like Scott and his extremely blunt way of speaking. I will be devouring the remainder of the chapters that are posted posthaste. Keep it up, I can't wait to see where this is all going.
| Opaque-Cavalier chapter 21 . 8/29/2014
The plot thickens...will Scott tell Harry, what will Harry do, will they try and deal with Harry's horcrux earlier or later, will Scott kill Snape, why wouldn't Scott use subsonic rounds and a supressor in his M4, will Harry ever got to third base?
Seriously, great chapter that really advanced the plot without feeling like an infodump, nicely done.
| Shypman chapter 15 . 8/26/2014
Thank goodness you're still writing this. I'm back to reading it, and it's as good as I remember :)
| Nifty Niffler chapter 21 . 8/26/2014
You made the same mistake I've seen a lot of others make. When Dumbledore is talking about not being able to open the Chamber, he says he's not a Parseltongue. Parseltongue is the language, Parselmouth is the person who speaks it.
I'm hoping Scott does tell Harry what he's learned but I can see him not saying a word about it.
| IHateSnakes chapter 21 . 8/26/2014
Thanks for the great (and quick) update; I look forward to more. And, as always, very well written. ihs