|Reviews for Vis Insita|
| TimeShifter chapter 29 . 5/26/2015
Interesting point about the Owl Post. I loosely noticed that in the books, but having you point out two clear examples makes it more obvious. I'm planning to finally re-read the books now (my last read was when DH came out), and I'm worried fanfiction may have ruined them a little for me. There are a lot of areas where things seem inconsistent. Still, if they're half as good as I remember, I'm in for a great time.
On to this chapter! The fights between Sophie and Scott are still on the right side of believable, though I'm getting a little tired of Scott's practice of telling Harry not to freak out about things and talk with his friends, while Scott's busy holding stuff back. Unless you're trying to portray that Scott does everything he tells Harry not to?
And I was glad to see some smaller side conversations; Ginny and Hermione discussing how to proceed with Bill, Ron flirting with Hermione, and Kaylie slowly getting better. Best of all, Harry knows he's a Horcrux ahead of time, and they immediately addressed a few possible ways to deal with it. I'm REALLY excited to see how that conversation goes with the rest of the group. I imagine Ginny and his friends can help convince him not to freak out. DH-Harry would require an absurd amount of convincing, but your Harry seems more aware of when he's being overdramatic (i.e. when he asked Scott to kill him).
| Zack Feitsma chapter 29 . 5/26/2015
Haha owl post... I've wondered that too...
| Nifty Niffler chapter 29 . 5/26/2015
Hope Harry does indeed have that conversation with the others. He certainly needs to. If not with the others, then with Ginny.
| RedEuthyphro chapter 29 . 5/26/2015
Well done as usual. Looking forward to seeing how Harry deals with actually having to talk to the others about being a Horcrux rather than just going off to die without talking to anyone.
I think part of the difficulty with figuring out how magic works is that it's often explained through sources who may not be fully reliable, so it's hard to tell where there are inconsistencies and where the characters themselves just don't know what's going on. At least some of the Fidelius issues raised by DH seem to be reconcilable by dismissing as an overly cautious mistake on Hermione's part the possibility that someone accidentally let into Grimmauld Place would actually become a secret keeper in addition to just learning the secret. But given the other inconsistencies and places where Rowling clearly forgot things from earlier books, I doubt that's what she intended to do.
| IHateSnakes chapter 29 . 5/26/2015
Ok, I'll send you 20 reviews to make you feel better! Don't be discouraged, your writing is excellent and I (for one) find the plot engaging. Looking forward to the next installment. Now I have to go and copy this 20 times... ihs
| IHateSnakes chapter 28 . 5/15/2015
Wonderful update. I once wrote a steamy ff short story titled: The Many Charms of Nymphadora Tonks" but lost it in a hard drive failure...yours is better! Looking forward to the next chapter. ihs
| sylvelle chapter 28 . 5/11/2015
Nice to see Lila in action again. She is cool. I suppose none of the order knows that Scott is not a teenager huh?
I'm guessing Lila called Sophie? What did they say?
| Nifty Niffler chapter 27 . 4/8/2015
I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter. A little concerned for Scott but he'll get better, I'm sure. As for your concerns regarding dialogue, each of your characters have very distinct voices, so keep doing what you're doing.
| Yami Umi chapter 27 . 3/27/2015
I swear, you made me laugh out loud with that particular ramble from Scott, the one with the frosting, and it was enough to make my wife look at me strangely from across the room and ask if I was ok. I always enjoyed those particular situations, and Hermione's presence just made it all the much funnier.
But enough of that. Nice chapter, as always... I would even say it's a particularly good one because, yay, we get Ginny's AND Sophie's POV, and because Scott was deeply affected by something, for a change, giving us another insight on his world. It also serve to remind us quite forcibly that he (and Kharadjai in general) is no god, even if he is not as frail like the humans around him.
Skipping that, we have the question you proposed about the dialogue, if it's adequate or not. From my earlier reviews, you might have noticed that I specially like the dialogue in your story, Hermione's and Scott's specially; it's vivacious and character dependent alright. My only complaint, if you could say that, is about what I would call "Harry's excessive moodiness", which deeply reflects his dialogue and thoughts, but, as you have already explained, it's understandable, and not badly written at all. Besides, I think your story has the perfect balance between dialogue and narrative, which means it has enough narrative as not to look like the lines of a soap opera script, but also enough dialogue not too look like Tolkien's books, which are an amazing read anyway, but tiring as hell.
Don't worry, your work is truly no 50 shades of Gray. And I mean that as a compliment, of course.
Lastly, I would like to give you an opinion over Sophie that might, or might not, make you actually mad, so I apologize in advance (even if it's not actually a bad thing in my opinion): Sophie's personality reminds me strongly of a few japanese anime girls I've seen; not all the time, but sometimes it shines through. Maybe because she is ACTUALLY a sweet and pleasant character in a story that has Scott, Lila, Ron and Ginny in it, but sometimes that's the comparison I make, even if it's not completely fair; I mean, I KNOW Sophie has way more depth than most anime characters I've seen, but the comparison stands all the same.
| Brightly Bound chapter 27 . 3/26/2015
Great work, per usual! I enjoyed finding out what happened after the Horcrux dream-thing, although this chapter felt a little rushed for some reason. Hm. Also, it's funny that you mention dialogue in your author's note in the chapter where Scott goes all wonky! Thanks for updating!
| sylvelle chapter 27 . 3/26/2015
For what it's worth, nothing, I've never had a problem with the dialogue of the story. It feels natural to me. Good chapter, a little scary with Scott being incapacitated, but good. And the nicknames for people in the shape, was a nice touch. Hardest for Sophie of course and best for the Scott/Sophie shippers Still hoping that happens with both aware of what is happening.
| TimeShifter chapter 27 . 3/26/2015
I can't content on the beginning since it's been a long time, but I do read each of your characters in different voices. Harry, Scott, Hermione, and Ron in particular. Ginny had started speaking more, but I still read her largely by her actions. She's had a few chances to grow, but as we discussed in a review a few chapters back, she's still largely defined as a character by her interacting with and feelings for Harry.
I enjoyed this chapter a lot. It have us more insight into Sophie, some more time looking at their relationship, and seeing a couple teens make fun of theses super being adults was amusing. I also like that Ginny got to destroy a Horcrux. Not a huge deal, but it's good to see her asking for more involvement, and no one complaining.
| Opaque-Cavalier chapter 27 . 3/25/2015
Actually, I think the dialogue is one of the strong points of the story. Your characters speak more naturally than most other author's characters.
| Deadman19 chapter 27 . 3/25/2015
Very well done chapter as usual. I hope you don't plan on killing Scott off. The suspense is killing me!
| MisterKo chapter 27 . 3/25/2015
the only problem for me at your story it is that it takes you months to update this is exactly why i stopped reading the story even if i still follow it i wait for the moment when it will be finished and then i will read it and enjoy it