|Reviews for Trauma Team: unwanted memories|
| Cheerfulbunny chapter 3 . 11/18/2012
Telling us your OC's traits are unnecessary-try show and not tell. Show that they're calm, or hot-headed. Also, it is a good idea to increase the plot as 90% of the chapter is an operation.
Grenade? Really? How about just simply a fire?
| Cheerfulbunny chapter 2 . 11/18/2012
Again, spelling/grammar errors. Also, there are only like, 2 paragraphs; makes a giant wall of text. It makes it hard to read, so I HIGHLY recommend spacing it out a lot.
Here's a lesser-known fact that you don't really have to change-I use this to for simplicity. When the heart stops (Cardiac Arrest) you DON'T use the defibrillator; you do CPR/Heart Massage. You use the defibrillator during fibrillation and the lot. Just improving your knowledge.
The key (S, FR, O, E, etc.) is completely unnecessary-it is obvious whenever it is surgery or whatnot.
| Cheerfulbunny chapter 1 . 11/15/2012
Some criticism right off the bat.
The title is flawed; capitalize Unwanted Memories. Throughout the stories there are several spelling and grammar errors, and your A/N in the middle of the story distracts the reader and disrupts your reading. Also, this chapter was dull, the only reason I read it was because you have drama and suspense going for you. All in all, a decent story, although a quick revision could fix it.
| Anon chapter 1 . 3/22/2012
I really like this story so far and I like the idea of the new doctors and such. The only thing I dislike are the large among of authors notes within the story itself...I'll get so wrapped into the story until I see an author note.
| Hikari-Chimedekina-Neko chapter 4 . 3/13/2012
Hey! Your story's really interesting! So, I decided I would give you an OC I came up with. Hope you've been brushing up on your diagnostics!
Name; Madilyn Norson
Hair; Long, braided, and light brown
Disease; Multiple personality disorder (or in the US, Dissociative Identity Disorder)
I guess I'll explain a bit about her disease; Madilyn's eyes will change color when one of the personalities takes over(though this isn't a symptom, merely a visual way to differentiate the personalities). There are 4 personalities total with Madilyn's.
Madilyn normally has brown eyes, and is soft spoken and timid girl.
Mady is the blue eyed 6 year old hyperactive child. Mady speaks like a small child would. This is the trauma personality. This is the personality that was hidden when Madilyn began to develop MPD due to physically abusive father.
Lyn is the green eyed party girl. She is the persona Madilyn wished she was. Lyn also has a temper, and will sometimes show herself if Madilyn is in danger.
Finally there is lavender eyed Ann. You could call Ann Madilyn's subconscious. Ann is very mature and polite and is sort of the caretaker of the others. If Madilyn forgets something, Ann will remember and do I for her. Or if Mady and/or Lyn do something wrong, Ann will usually fix it.
While Madilyn is unaware of the other personalities, they are completely aware of her and each other, as Mady calls Madilyn big sis, and the other two call her by her name.
I'll give you some of the symptoms & triggers. There is the symptom of Irrational/unusual phobias, which is her fear of strongly built men (like Hank). It was brought on because her father, the abuser, also had a strong build. Another symptom is unprovoked anger, which is easily triggered by calling Madilyn by either Mady or Lyn. She'll start screaming that that isn't her name, though she will be confused as to why she did that. You can find the other symptoms at wikipedia and I'll let you decide how Madilyn will show them.
Hope you use her, and I hope you have fun with her if you do!