|Reviews for Autumn|
| Brat-Child3 chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
This was very good. Ritsuka is one of my all-time favorite characters and it's always interesting to get inside his head. I think you captured his inner feelings and thoughts beautifully. The descriptions are vivid and really make the scenery come alive. I could see it all.
You wanted constructive criticism and there is something I see. Pay close attention to tense. You have a mix of past and present tense going here-which totally makes sense when we're taken back into Ritsuka's memories-but you have a few that weren't consistant.
Eventually, he "reaches" a small clearing, where the sky above him "was" framed by maple trees and there was room for him to lie down on the ground, cross his arms behind his head and watch evening stars come slowly into view.
I put quotation marks so you can see. The same sentence switches from present tense (He REACHES), to past tense (was framed instead of IS framed). I noticed this several places.
Besides that, I can't find a complaint at all, and I'm a hard critic. It's why I dont review many Loveless stories. Sadly, a lot of them aren't written well enough for me to read even a full chapter.
That, or they overdo the SoubixRitsuka angle and make Ritsuka hate Seimei which would never happen. (Im a Seimei fan lol).
This was lovely and it's going in my favorites. I hope to see more from you in this fandom.
| Airgid-chead chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
I guess I'll look at this year's autumn a little differently after reading this ;) I love Ritsuka's maturity despite his age.
| promocat chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
a great story about ristuka & all he is going thu!i love autumn-but ristika is almost bracing for the season & what it will bring this time
| DreamReap chapter 1 . 9/6/2011
I liked the scene in Ritsuka's bed, very cute.