|Reviews for Lovebirds|
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/21/2013
guude very guude
| AscendingAnthem chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
Right. Even though it says i'm reviewing Chapter 1, i'm actually reviewing the entire story. LETS GET STARTED!
The premise got me hooked straight away. A Spyro/Cynder romance. How lovely. Reading through it, I found that this story is light at the start, becoming more and more deep as the story goes on. I love those kinds of stories. Chapter 7 was a great chapter.
Your own character, Shike, coming in was a little unexpected, but getting round the fact that you can teleport into games, (SO COOL) I found Shike to be an integeral part of the story.
I'm not too keen on full-out sexual encounters, and you have lived up to my expectation. Thank you!
In conclusion, this story started off a little weak. But it got stronger as it went on. I really liked it.
| Per Daniel chapter 2 . 4/8/2013
Once again, a good chapter. I like how they talk to each other, like the slang words. Also, the sorrow within the chapter is something that makes this even better. As always, showing off feelings makes everything a bit better (Atleast for me). I think I'm gonna enjoy this story :)
| Per Daniel chapter 1 . 4/8/2013
I think this chapter is very well written. I am one of the best in my class when it comes to English, and I didn't see any spelling errors. All in all, a good chapter to start a book with. I know it is a small review, but there is nothing much more to say.
| Cluanne Youla chapter 8 . 7/10/2012
Ooh...another Draco Arc follower, I loved the story...
now, as a reader would say, next chapter please...(nice ask)
I want the next chapter!(rude asking)
| jacob chapter 3 . 2/5/2012
LIAR! the elemental claws r on dotd ds game X button
but still quite resourceful with that
| soldier of knowledge chapter 8 . 1/30/2012
Sounds like Shrike can be quite the cook when he's so inclined. On the flip side,I advise that he doesn't go into the singing buisness. And Sparx is a moron, nothing new there. Not a bad chapter all told. I wait for the next.
| deviantMIND1 chapter 3 . 1/27/2012
once again, a very good chapter but still a pretty narrow vocabulary, and still not the slightest sexual theme.
but I like this story regardless. and for some reason I cant stop reading.
but I admire your imagination and sense of humor.
| deviantMIND1 chapter 2 . 1/27/2012
greetings from DM1, 1st time reader, 1st time reviewer.
I like were your going with this story. Im up to chapter 2.
but there is a little problem with it. make that two problems.
1. your not stretching your vocabulary wide enough. for axample; when you mentioned that spyro and cynder twisted there tails around eachother, it would have been better if you said 'coiled'.
2. it would be better if there was a more sexual relationship between the hero lovers . like making cynder lick spyro on the neck playfully from time to time.
other than that!, brilliant story! i give it 7-10. if you had a better vocabulary and sense of 'intercourse' it can be even better, trust me ;)
| Legendarywestie chapter 8 . 1/16/2012
I like it I haven't read this story in a while keep up the good work
| The1upguy chapter 1 . 1/16/2012
I like it. It is a more jovial start than mine. I would like to know if it goes any further. Is the begining of a story, or is this the whole thing?
| SunnyDee13 chapter 8 . 1/15/2012
Hey your back! Good to see you updated :)
Good chapter. Who doesn't love bacon? I know I love bacon :D
| soldier of knowledge chapter 7 . 10/27/2011
Very artistic. I figured he would be more blunt and make a heart, but an arch with a star works two. I must agree, the kiss was deserved right at the very end there. Not much else to say for this chapter.
| soldier of knowledge chapter 6 . 10/27/2011
Not entirelly sure you neede to go into that much detail about water could do (though I'm wondering how it could control someone) but you got the point across. I liked the romance bit at the end, it was sorely needed. Your writing did improve this chapter, you were right. The one thing I have to say is that it might get a slight bit dogdey talking about how one element is superior to all the others. I have no problem about it,but some people may disagree with you. Just a heads up. Otherwise this chapter was pretty good.
| SunnyDee13 chapter 7 . 10/10/2011
I liked the romance factor of this chapter. It was very descriptive, but It also was a bit long-winded. The way you described shike and how he 'moved' the water was all very detailed. don't get me wrong, details are very important, but it seemed like you were trying to hard? I can tell you put alot of thought and work into it, but felt like you were overthinking some of them. Some parts didn't flow as well with the others. My advice would be to let your ideas flow naturally, don't force them. You are a good writer, and I can tell that you are enjoying writing this.
One more peice of advice, When you have a really long paragraph try to beak it into smaller paragraphs. This is kind of a pet peeve of mine. When a paragraph get very langthy it can look clummped together, and hard to read. I'd say every 10-12 sentences (maybe a few more) start a new paragraph. This not oly makes it easier to read, but also makes the story look neater.
XD I hope I didn't sound to naggy with all of that