|Reviews for No Substitute|
| guest chapter 1 . 7/26/2015
this is nice. this chapter is great. :)
| Pokeloid chapter 6 . 3/2/2015
Hey, is it to late to send an OC? I hope not. Anyways, as you read I wanna send an OC.
Name: Aisu Fujikisai
Age: Meh, whatever fits the story
Appearance: What ever you think a male, human glaceon looks like
Personality: whatever you like as well
If there are other things I need to list about him you can make it up. Oh! And I forgot that his level should be between 15-19 'kay? Bye!
Awesome Story so far! I really love it! Keep up the great work!
| KuroiNeko89 chapter 6 . 8/7/2012
Hnng I looove this fanfiction! Actually I loove all your stories you're really are a great writer! Your stories are vvery interesting and always has me waiting on what's going to happen next w /has went through all your stories/ /shotdead for being such a stalker OTL/
So I've went snooping through the wiki and looked at most if not all the characters profiles
Your designs look very lovely 8D I especially like Miyya's, Violet's, Saniya, Naomi's and Rikka's design :3 I expected there to be some pokemon features on them like a tail and ears but it turns out I was wrong OTL
And if you don't mind may I draw a fa nart of these characters one day?
Keep on writing and update soon!
| AshKetchumDarkSide chapter 6 . 4/27/2012
Pretty Interesting chapter. I was hoping for cameos for my characters but I still enjoyed the heck out of the chapter. I read the earlier chapter,it is nice to see that Kari is a famous singer. :D That is enjoyable to read keep it up.
| Mirage Mystery chapter 6 . 4/22/2012
Well now, it looks like thesweetshipper has sent in a weird review. Now it's war! Kinda sisterly war 'cuz I'm the weird one! *Ahem* Getting off topic here. Now threat begins! *wrestling match bell thing dings*
*puts on detective coat, detective hat, and pipe things that bubbles come out of. Grabs Eon and pulls him into police interrogation room*
Alright Eon I want every detail of how you and Vii got together! EVERY FREAKING DETAIL!
*takes off detective clothes, puts away pipe thingy, and walks out of the room like nothing happened.
Lore, get with the program connect Eon and the other names question him like I did! Except not about Vii... Any who!
Mikey, you're too young for this. I forbid you from seeing Eon and Vii kissing. Even though that was my favorite part...
Violet, you know you're very scary when you're mad... I think that's why they use you as a human shield.
Oh Rex, where can I start. Oh I know! Rex it is all your fault why know whenever I look at ginger in my grade and think of you. Then, the person who likes the ginger, and finally Saniya. ALL YOUR FAULT!
Saniya, Saniya, Saniya. How do you survive when you like Rex. I mean seriously he's not the ideal guy. What if he forgets your birthday, or wedding, or when your child is supposed be born!(I know waaaaayyyyyyy awkward, but I'm having fun!)
Mikey, I sometimes wonder if you're a robot. Seriously though you weren't cold when sat on a rock in a cold mountain region. Not to mention being super smart, and complimenting the person who shot at you. *sigh* I'll never understand you... until your past gets explained. Then everything will be clear... possibly.
By the way Vii, I also need to interrogate you. *grabs detective stuff and drags Vii into police interrogation room.* So spill it Kirsi. Especially you because you seem so angry at Eon all the time. ... Come on spill it, Kirsi!
I can't wait until Naomi and Mikey meet. It will be glorious! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Well then, until the next chapter, Good-bye, or if I forgot to put something in. That could happen too.
| Pure Gamer chapter 1 . 4/20/2012
You're a very, very, very talented writer. Everything is near perfect. I'm left in awe.
| MidsummerMoonlight99 chapter 6 . 4/17/2012
This is an interesting fic especially since it's an OC-submission fic. Pokevoids are a neat concept and the Aether Games sound like a great plot. But this fic has problems, lots of problems that hamper it from being great or even good. The most jarring of which is the Aether Game itself. It's vague, really vague. What are the stones? Why are the Eon gods doing this? What's the point? How do you win? It sounds like you ripped off the Hunger Games and added a few new elements. You need to clearly explain what they are and why they are held. Have they even started yet? Miyya got her stone thing but no one is fighting yet. Will she ever know what she is supposed to do or will the gods just let her wander around aimlessly until she pieces it together herself?
Your characters are pretty shoddy. Almost all of them are two dimensional with no real flaws. I know it's an OC submission fic but if you want to change them you should. Let's break the most glaring ones down starting with...
Miyya- Generic Sue is generic. She's pretty but she was teased for being a "freak" in the past for not evolving. A lot of Pokémon can't evolve and some choose not to, is it a crime to not be able to? Because she's "special", is the fact that despite being unevolved and by definition weaker but won against a trained bodyguard with equal or better training than she has not seem unbelievable to you? Also she's a black belt but is a knight class. Why? Wouldn't it make more sense for her to be a monk class? Where did she learn to use a sword? From the mysterious voice in her head she must have had training.
Miyya also has no personality. She is somewhat rude without upsetting people and angry all the time. She hates her mother and loves her brother but not enough to cry for him when she finds him brutally murdered in a lab. She stupidly trustworthy of everyone, Sanniya appears right after her brother is murdered and attacks her. But the minute a random character comes between them and asks them to be friends she immediately accepts Sanniya's trustworthy despite her paper thin excuse that she was supposed to be his bodyguard but got there just after he was murdered. She needs lots more depth if she is going to be your protagonist and also needs to explain how she got her sword skills from. Don't let her be a Sue.
Sanniya - Not bad all around. She's interesting enough but you need to develop her further. So she's a fan of anime, will this affect her relationship with Rex? Is she stunted as an adult because of this childish love of anime. Can she handle an adult relationship? There's potential for her to grow as a character and you should invest some time into letting her blossom into a deep character.
The Eon gods- Ridiculously boring, cardboard characters with basic personalities swiped from TVtropes with no thought of deconstruction of any kind. Are they evil? I would assume so since they host the Aether Game. Since we don’t know what the Aether Game is I guess they just like to be jerks? If they are going to be evil make them evil, not as likable hero like characters for which evil is a side trait. Are there internal conflicts among them? There needs to be if they are going to be your villains.
Violet- Could be a potentially great character with the shape shifting but is held back by her generic femininity. Workaholic fashion designer? Boring. Slowly drifting out of the current trends and is paranoid her boss is going to fire her causing her to work like crazy to please her and turns to prescription drugs to help her stay awake? Much better.
Lore Castreal- I hate him. He’s the stupidly boring good guy who mysteriously knows something’s up. He’s a good looking Lucario Pokevoid who’s at the same level as a god. He’s a Gary Stu plain and simple. I was seriously seeing imaginary sub text that hinted at him and Mikey are a couple. I’ll have you know I’m not into Yaoi and hate pedo fics so the fact that my mind had to produce some sort of horrifically interesting flaw is very sobering to me. Lore needs a massive upgrade from pretty Dr. Layton ripoff to something else. Get him some personality traits and flaws, stat.
Mikey- Technical whiz kid who is Luke Triton in disguise.
Finally you need to stop switching perspectives so much. It’s confusing and unnecessary. The Eon gods should be getting way less screen time only appearing to drop hints and to be fought. Please state whose perspective we are going to be reading when you switch POV’s.
What’s with all the pretty pokemon? Eons, Lucario, Snivy, Absol, really generic amd overused. How about an Remoraid or a Stantler? Be different.
I’ll end with the positives the greatest of which is potential. I wouldn’t be commenting if this fic had no potential. This could be great not just mediocre. Your fights scenes are also fantastic. The one between Miyya and Sanniya is what hooked me to your fic.
Get the Aether Game started in the next chapter and start growing your characters. I know you have talent, let it shine.
| Dragon chapter 6 . 4/15/2012
Is it to late to recommend an OC? If it isn't here's an OC
Lycoris:Sableye, Magi, female, level 14, and the rest you can make up.
Ah, I LIKE YOUR FACE priceless! My sister LOVES Lucarios, so, obviously she likes Lore. Yay! Fun! See ya later!
| Frozen Dewdrops chapter 6 . 4/14/2012
Dang. This chapter is huge...
Anyhow, I loved the scene between Lore, Mikey, and Eon. Gosh, that was hilarious.
I think I died of laughter when I read the heated argument/bantering between Lore and Eon. Then, Mikey topped the cake with his "praising the guy that just shot at him". Eon is just awesome with his reasoning and dialogue. Mikey is epic as well. Lore is just... cool. :)
Now Rex and Saniya... That was the best part of this chapter.
"I like your face!" I think I need to go to the hospital from the hilarity of it all. Oh, Saniya, how your ways simply amuse me. I loved how Rex took their interactions - this is one priceless ship with Saniya's nature and his ADHD.
As for the scenes involving Miyya, Violet, and Mizumi, that was amazing - especially with the running gag of Violet being used as a human shield (I have been one so many times) and Saniya's second meet up with Rex. It's so sad for Mizumi though... although the others' reactions to realizing her feelings for Finn were so amusing.
HAH, I knew there was something between Eon and Vii. The profiles confirmed it for me. However, I didn't realize the sniper was Vii until Eon said she was his girlfriend. The scene was pretty cute and funny thanks to Lore and Mikey's reactions. I think I have a few new ships to add to my list. :)
Overall, a very long and wonderful chapter you got here. It was worth the wait all right. I hope you can update soon, or rather, when you can. I'll be waiting!
| Light-Sakura chapter 6 . 4/14/2012
I love your fanfiction so must! They really funny but well written and fill with trouble!
Mikey admiring Eon even though he shot at him was priceless!
Then Saniya giving out her big speech and that she like Rex face was so funny! Let me guess they're going to be couple?
Oh, Rex is amusing because of his ADHD.
Everyone reaction after Miyya pointed out that Mizumi loved her brother was priceless as well!
Great chapter and looking forward to the next like always!
| U R Beautiful chapter 6 . 4/14/2012
Oh gosh, this chapter made me laugh so hard... Definitely worth the wait. I love how... enthustiastic Saniya gets over Miru stuff. It's hilarious! And her thoughts on Rex... or distraction boy. Very amusing.
Mikey is so adorable. He just... sounds... adorable. But then he's really smart and stuffs and you said he has a dark past/secret or something so it's also like... oh dear what is going to happen. And Lore. I don't even know why I love Lore so much I just do. He's so like... cool? And then also. I don't know. I just love him. And pretty much all the characters. Update soon!
| Mysteryless chapter 4 . 4/14/2012
I wish I had stumbled upon this story sooner. I'm already hooked. Your description, the characters and their interaction...everything but the grammar is phenomenal. The grammar does need some work, as it can get me a little confused at times, and there many periods in the wrong places and such. You might want to get someone to proofread before you update.
Other than that, though...Wow. :O I'm definitely adding this story to my favourites, and subscribing.
So far, my favourite character is definitely Saniya. She is so badass and yet so adorable at the same time, with her magical girl obsession. XD The way you write her, readers can't help but love her.
| Summer Raindrops chapter 6 . 4/13/2012
Yes! Vii and Eon, huh...Oh, oh, ship name, right? Well, both have rather cold personalities, so how about Frostbiteshipping? Cuz one is an Ice-type (frost) and the other is a Dark-type (bite, like the move.)
Um, for Mizumi and Finn...Growthshipping? Cuz Finn is a grass type...and Mizumi is a Water and Ground type...and when you have good soil and water, the land is really fertile and lets plants grow? Umm...messed up logic.
I love love love love Rex! Ah, in the misdt of all this, there's still wars between the Muruites and Purites. Ahahahaha. And Mizumi's awesome, too.
| thesweetshipper chapter 6 . 4/12/2012
Okay, time for commentary, awesome style! *puts on shades*
I wish I had WiFi in the mountains... Mikey's so cute, I can't believe he made a health bar wristwatch! ... That word never looks like it spelled correctly. Oh sweet, earpieces! I can't tell you how much I love headsets.
I wonder who called... It -might- have been Mizumi...or NOT! *dramatic music*
Holy Shippings, Finn knew Vales. *even more drama music*
God, don't tell me Vales had a kid. That would create so many awkward questions.
...I think I know what's gonna happen...
Holy razz berries! *that sounded a lot better in my mind*
Snow... *waits anxiously*
Yeah, Eon lost major points for scaring the living daylights out Lore and Mikey. Yet I still like him.
Is it normal for Umbreons to do that?
Huh... I wonder who/what Tondra is. Curious... Curiosity killed the cat Lore... Or maybe professor Finn Adama...?
OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. Please be who I know it is.
Hey, how'd they get to Cerulean so fast?
OH MY STARS AND CRACKERS I KNOW THIS ONE.
Oh hey a coupon.
Oh dear. Zelda, you have some explaining to doooo!~
FINALLY WE GET TO SEE MY CHARACTER!
*GASP* PLEASE BE ZELDA PLEASE BE ZELDA PLEASE BE ZELDA-
AUUUUUUUUGH! I got my hopes up. *sniff*
Woah. Ten seasons? That's hardcore.
This kid is just like me. (O_O)
He -is- like me!
Oh *swear* he mentioned Puriru.
Hehe... Oh Saniya~
OMG he also burns stuff accidentally? I LOVE this guy!
*I fell out of my chair when Saniya said that*
Charms? Oh Saniya...
...I don't understand myself either.
YES ZELDA TIME! YEEEEEEEEEE-
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW... *cries in emo-corner*
OMG Rex is like... If I gave birth to a ginger kid, this would be him. It's like he's related to me! Wait a second! I have a ginger cousin...who's a guy...
MOTHER OF AWESOMENESS
Aw, wait. I'm the only one who has ADHD. DARN IT!
OMG I FREAKING KNOW THIS!
NOOOO ZELDA! *sad violins with me crying like a baby montage*
Oh hey, free shippings.
Oh Saniya... XD
Hold the phone...
! *breaks down into denial and grabs Finn's corpse*
I know CPR! *Nothing happens and gets the electric thingymadoodles*
CLEAR! *still nothing*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THEY WERE GONNNA BE THE CUTEST COUPLE TO EVER FREAKING EXIST IN NO SUB, AND MARRY, AND HAVE LITTLE GUYS, THEN GRANDKIDS, AND I WAS GONNA BE AT THE WEDDING...!
If you don't reunite them in heaven, I will go nuts.
And if you dare make Mizumi's death too sad, I will totally awkwardize both of their fan mail with shipping goodness.
IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.
YES! PLEASE LET ME BE RIGHT. OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE *starts praying*
YEEEEEEESSSSSS! LORE, HURRY UP! EOOOOOONNNN!
And yes, Lucarios aren't dark types.
IF YOU'RE WHO I THINK YOU ARE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY KNOW!
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!
LORE YOU IDIOT HURRY UP! RRRRRGH!
D'aaaaw. I just love Mikey.~3
Mikey makes everything better.
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAASE BE WHO I TOTALLLY KNOW YOU ARE!
DON'T BE RAI GUY!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! PLEASE BE WHO I KNOW YOU ARE! LORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Really you two? One game can't occupy you guys enough? You need more than that? *Oh God, I'll be using that to torture them IF I KNOW YET! FESS UP ALREADY I TOTALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
*the song Who Are You briefly plays*
Girlfriend? *tears show in eyes* YES! YES! YES! *tears threaten to turn into a sob-fest*
...COME ON ALREADY!
*sees description and screams of joy*
YES! YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! TAKE THAT 'LIL SIS! I WAS RIGHT! YEAH! *VICTORY DANCE TIME* GO SWEETSHIP, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! GO SWEETSHIP! GO SWEETSHIP! GO SWEETSHIP! GO SWEETSHIP! HALLELUJAH! *SINGS I AM THE CHAMPION BY QUEEN* I WAS RIGHT! HAH! I TOTALLY FREAKIN' KNEW!
*I DANCE AWESOMELY FOR OVER AN HOUR*
*AND IT WAS AWESOME*
Reads kiss part.
AW EON YOU SLY DOG! *LAUGHS EVILLY* *DOES WINNING FIST PUMP THING* YES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA!
Reads rest of kiss and the fangirl shrieks can be heard in space. Yes, space. That's how loud I was. And I nearly died. And I want a photo/drawing of the kiss. It's that awesome.
Would someone please cover Mikey's eyes? (It'd be pretty funny if that happened.)
LORE YOU'RE A DETECTIVE FOR GOD'S SAKE. FIGURE IT OUT. IT'S GOING TO BE SO HARD FINDING HIM A GIRLFRIEND, I SWEAR...
D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawww they're such a cute couple~3 *melts of pure joy*
Reads last thing. Then I think I blacked out.
I wasn't able to review while reading for the first time; I had school. Ugh. I also wasn't able to read the trivia. But I did type what was going through my mind when I first read it. Needless to say...
IT WAS AWESOME!
Now for trivia.
Yeah, I figured Rex had ADHD. I have the same thing, along with my younger twin brother.
Mizumi's awesome. It's a fact.
Eon and Vii... I think you meant to say, the -best- of relationships. (lol jk) As I get less shy, my reviews become weirder. Trust me, I might know how weird this fic'll be. (My saga is essentially homestuck plot crazy.)
AND HELL YES TO FAVE SHIPS! GIMME FIVE! Oh wait... Oh... Well, GIMME A CYBER HIGH FIVE, GIRL! And, I'M SO JEALOUS; YOU HAVE A SHIPPING CHART. DO WANT.
A lot of ships? A LOT OF SHIPS? GIRL, HAVE YOU SEEN MY PROFILE PAGE. I HAVE SHIPPS COMING OUT OF MY EARS. I AM KNEE-DEEP IN CRAZY-SHIPPINGS-THAT-I-TOTALLY-LOVE-TO-DEATH.
AND GOSH DAMMIT SCREWING WITH CHARACTERS REALLY IS FUN. *evil laugh*
Eon x Vii BitterFrostbiteshipping
Mizumi x Finn Ologyshipping
Saniya x Rex CrazyFandomshipping or ILikeYourFaceshipping.
Even better for Eon and Vii would be my name. TheSweetshipping. Or for Saniya and Rex. (lol jk 'bout the name)
But seriously, can you do that?
And what is this NoSub School you type of? I wanna go there.
AND DEAR GOD, I NEED THAT NEXT CHAPPIE. NEED IT, I SAY!
Lemme know if I won the shipping lottery!
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reread the Eon x Vii goodness over and over again while fantasizing the moment and emblazoning it in my mind forever with a distant and hazy look in my eyes while my family members wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
| Annihilator Zero chapter 5 . 4/12/2012
ALSO. Can't review chapter twice. University Science Team. UST. I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE