|Reviews for Legacy of the Forgotten|
| Senshi Raidon chapter 20 . 12/29/2011
This story deserves continuance. Good job. Part of me wishes if he truly loved her, he would want her happiness, no matter what the circumstance. I mean, he should think about it. How would he behave if it were his child. AND MIND YOU, SHE'S A CHILD. FOR A MAN HIS AGE TEENAGERS ARE STILL CHILDREN. He's saying he's giving her a choice, but it still includes an ultimatum.
Shigure and Miu are acting as if they've never been in that position before, scared and confused, and his brothers are just as self centered as him. Yes, he saved her from death when she was dumped on his gate, but even still he's being self centered by altering her life before she's even begun the live it. She can't go to school until he's sure she won't run away, her father can't go to work without someone over his shoulders, and isn't allowed to see if his daughter is emotionally okay?
Note: I'm not criticizing your writing, AT ALL, I'm just talking about the attitude of the characters. Just wanted to clarify that. Great fic.
| moon82993 chapter 18 . 9/22/2011
Plz update! I love this story!z
| calypso tchaka chapter 10 . 9/10/2011
with these additions I think you've started to paint him in a different light. Or rather, I'm starting to see more of his character, and I wonder what will happen after her second failed escape attempt. Thanks for sharing the story! Enjoy your weekend x
| calypso tchaka chapter 8 . 9/9/2011
I sort of don't know where to start with this review. I don't know this story at all (but yay for Wiki, I got the gist of it!), so can't give a comment about whether I think your take on their personalities and interactions with each other are good or more humorous, since I don't have that connection of association.
That said, I think the story has potential. I'd be careful not to paint his personality in a childish way: throw a tantrum/just make a point about who's in charge for no other reason than because he can. I don't think you are aiming for that, or that its part of his personality, but that's what his actions are turning into for me.
His actions and thoughts don't really meet in the middle. Does that make sense? He doesn't want to make her hate him and keep her from her father, but he ends up doing exactly that anyway. It's cave-mannish and I get this feeling of wanting to throw something at him...or just avoid him entirely.
I'm wondering when she'll assert herself somewhat. Sure, she hasn't talked to him for a week, but emotionally he is walking right over her.
I can tell that you are still busy getting the ball rolling for this and introducing them to the reader. You haven't delved into her personality/quirks/thoughts yet, so I think that could be part of the next step.
Thanks for sharing this, it was fun reading it. Enjoy your weekend!
| Cha's Aegis chapter 3 . 9/8/2011
This is turning out to be an interesting variation of the Kenichi story.