Reviews for King Edmund's Crusade
KusanoSaku chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
Oh my! You're back! I read this story years ago. I've been so depressed I didn't know how it ended. Please update often! I adored your Edmund, Lucy and Peter they influenced my work-in-progress Narnia screenplay so much.

formerly known as valiant lucy.
WriterWilf chapter 3 . 11/28/2011
Wish I could debate as effectively as Michael does. Whenever I get into debates I always something wrong or somebody manages to twist my words around. Then again, I never have had any proper training in debating.

Anyway, very good. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Do want to give some constructive criticism though:

' She blinked a couple of times. "You're telling me I'm a character in a story? I find that very hard to believe." '

The sentence that follows that ought to be joined with the next paragraph, where you move in to Michael's dialogue. There were a couple more instances like this. It didn't bother me that much, but it did seem to throw things off for me at first. It's like a puzzle piece that's been put in the wrong way.

Other than that though, it was really good. Can not wait for the next chapter.
WriterWilf chapter 2 . 11/22/2011
I was starting to get a little scared. Forgive me, but I was starting to wonder if you would ever update again. Real life can be annoying can't it?

Great job. I can not wait for the next chapter.
beth-is-rainpaint chapter 2 . 11/22/2011
Oreius! Peter! Wolves! Ah!

The beginning was fantastic - the details (especially the description of the forest as a zoetrope), the pacing - so exciting. I did have a bit of a question about point of view - is this chapter supposed to be just in Elizabeth's head, or did you intentionally switch to Peter's here: "humans were rare in Narnia for there were none native save him and his siblings; ones dressed in these sort of clothes rarer still."?
beth-is-rainpaint chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
When I saw this, I thought somebody had stolen your story title and premise...

Although I read the original version of this chapter, I am officially intrigued. The characters are strong; the descriptions are lovely. I want to go to Narnia now.
WriterWilf chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
So, is this your new account? I was wondering what happened to you when I checked my favorite authors and found that you weren't on there. It's nice to see you are reposting this story again. Truly, it's a classic, and I speak on behalf of countless fans who have read it.

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