Reviews for False Memories |
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![]() ![]() ![]() This is never going to be finished, is it? What a waste of an awesome story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() that was great keep the chapters coming |
![]() ![]() ![]() Please update |
![]() ![]() Noping out as soon as Hinata is named. Nope. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice |
![]() ![]() ![]() this story is just bad... nothing new or different. same idiot and bad writting... |
![]() ![]() ![]() 333333333333333! this is a masterpiece thats all i can say3 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your twisting all your characters to fit your own view, and unfortunately, your view on the situation is dumb as shit. They have to act like they did last time, because if they don't it would be manipulation... what are you even talking about? Not only have you already made it so that it doesn't matter with your 'divergent theory' but: 1) They already will inherently act different, there is no possible way to do everything the same, so its an exercise in futility. 2) If going about your life is considered "manipulation" of others, then you might as well have all the characters kill themselves, not that this wouldn't be "manipulative" either of course... 3) Not changing what you could change is morally much worse, and incredibly stupid, then letting them happen like they did last time. It's also real manipulation of others lives, unlike your false "manipulation". They are purposely letting this happen because they want them to, when they aren't the ones who get to decide others lives like that. If they just went about their own lives like they should, anything that happens would be the unavoidable consequences of living, and not deliberate manipulation. Honestly, there is just too much wrong with your reasoning's to list. I'm just going to end with your story having bad writing because you force all the characters to have your same, illogical opinion, and have them take two entire chapters to figure out they have knowledge from the future (when it should be fricken obvious) just to force the story in the way you want it to go. It's quite jarring to and disrupts suspension of disbelief. |
![]() ![]() ![]() stopped reading when you had naruto play dead last. its annoying. if i wanted to read him being a dead last id read canon. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is interesting but I kinda wish Naruto was changing more and standing out more too. I'm hoping that Naruto learns the hirashin. Will they avoid Sasuke getting marked and going crazy ? I am hoping that this is being continued |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, it's gotten a lot better it seems like you just never went back and edited the old chapters. Looking forward to more, though given this story started seven years ago, I"m not sure how quickly that will happen . :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm liking the story so far, but I need to say two things: First of all, you need to pair a character's actions with their dialogue. For example Chouji coughed . "I'm training too." Hinata smiled. "I need to get better." Reads as if Hinata is talking. Chouji coughed, "I'm training too." Hinata smiled. "I need to get better," he told them. Reads as Chouji talking with a reaction from Hinata in the middle. Secondly, Hinata's hypocrisy is jarring. "We can't decide people's lives! If we do we're as bad as Orochimaru!" Proceeds to plot to direct Neji's life the way she wants it to go, but it's okay somehow because it's how it happened originally, despite the impossibility of making everything the exact same. It's believeable, but kills sympathy and any moral high ground she had. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I probably would've made friends (or at least tried to) with Shino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Ten Ten, and Naruto from the academy if I would've grown up in Konoha of that time. Everyone else would've been focused on the wrong things for me to like them. Except for Hinata. She's a good girl, but I don't think I would've had the patience to even try to get her out of her funk. So I wouldn't really have tried too hard to be her friend. I'm not really a people person, not face-to-face anyway. Typing is MUCH easier. I like what you've done with every character. Not just the ones I listed. I'm excited for the next chapter! Story follow from me! |
![]() ![]() Pulverize suggests the Raikiri delivers a lot of blunt force. May I suggest vaporize as an alternative (I believe that is the word for describing a solid going to a gas)? Some of this was AU since it was started before the end of Naruto, but some parts were explained before your start date. Canon wise, Tsunade was the first female Kage (with some implications Mei was chosen because Tsunade had ended the male only system that had been in place with her selection). It is also canon that Obito/Madara was the Third Mizukage. Just a FYI, but this is an interesting twist. We also have the databooks, which were written by Kishimoto. Those say Haku is male, but then Kishimoto made Undead Haku even more feminine...we must come to the conclusion that Kishimoto is a troll -_- |
![]() ![]() Well Gaara seems to have gone off the deep end. |