Reviews for Before You Know It
shadriver chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
This story got me thinking, it actually felt like what would happen if Ven could think. It's not very well put in the games but it does suggest that he feels like this. I could feel how he felt, just how Ven felt betrayed after everything that happened. Ven is so left out in the games despite what he can actually do. He defeated Vanitas for christ's sake, Aqua barely managed such a feet!
XxKeyOfHeartxX chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
TBH, I thoughtthat was really good, and that bit in the middle (soz cant rememba wa part tht is lol) I actually had the massive urge to cry, i would teel ya wa part if I cud remeba wa prt, but sorry X]
DarkRoxas91 chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
This was really good! It continued the fact that Ventus may still be there, sitting in a chair in the depths of castle oblivion, and that he could still tell that he had been just left alone all that time. It is a very amazing oneshot and I'm glad you made it. :)
Xendrassk chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
well writen! good job and keep up! Ven is such a sweetheart and the only and main reason I ended up liking Sora, Roxas, and even Vanitas...

I hope Ven makes a comeback...perhaps in KH BBS vol.2...or more over, KHIII...
MonMonCandie chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
This was REALLY good. No joke. It's nice to see another dimension added to Ventus's personality instead of just hyper, happy-go-lucky, etc. You can literally FEEL how Ven felt so betrayed. Some of it is misplaced because he doesn't really know what happened to Terra or Aqua, but I think the other part of his hurt made sense. Master Eraqus, Terra, and Aqua did treat him like a kid. :( Even if it was to protect him, I think he could've proven himself worthy and he did! Ven just lost his heart because of it... :(

Really good! I liked this! :)

And for suggestions since you are asking: Maybe you wouldn't want Ven calling Mickey "king." I know Ven found out that Mickey WAS a king, but I personally think Ven would still think of Mickey as "Mickey" on a friendly basis over a formal one. :)

Also, for italics, I wouldn't use it too, too much because then it looks like your emphasizing too many words and it makes the reader think they MUST sharply read that specific word. For instance, you wrote: "But Aqua.../Where/are you?" (slashes indicate italics). You don't need to emphasize the word "where" because it's pretty obvious that Ven has been wondering where Aqua is. You do this for some other phrases that don't really need italics. I hope you don't mind me highlighting them...:

- "He's /not/ gone for good." (Italics not needed. In the next sentence, I think that emphasis is good already.)

- "Better than just... /Sitting/ here..." (I actually like the italics here, but I think it would look better written like this: "just.../sitting/ here...")

- "/Right?/ After all..." (The word "right" is kinda misplaced. I would move that word to the previous line so it would fit more smoothly: "...otherwise you wouldn't have taken so long...right?" Also, it doesn't need italics.)

- "I just wanted to be known as your friend..." (here, you CAN italicize "friend")

- "You were all /grown up,/ while I was just /that little kid./" (don't italicize "that")

- "...try to hide it from me, I /know./" (Italicize "I know")

- "Every time that I as much as /opened my mouth/..." (here, I think it can be fixed to: "Every time that I [so] much as /[open] my mouth/..." The italics were fine, just a spelling mistake :P)

- "Was it finally altered to fit its true status of a prison?" (Italicize "true", but the sentence sounds a little off. Try: "...altered to fit [the status] of a /[true]/ prison?")

- "...I wouldn't be trapped in this /prison again!/" (don't italicize "again!")

I'm so sorry if that looks long and messy! I can't tell because of there's no preview button. D: But yeah. Those are some things I think you can fix to make this look better! :) I still think you did a great job content wise though, but then again, you always rock when it comes to writing out feelings and descriptions. That what makes your writing style engaging! :)

Kudos to you for writing something angsty for someone like VenVen! :3