Reviews for The Wizard's World: YR 1
CrypticSilhouette chapter 20 . 4/27
I really like this series of stories so far, but one thing that I do have an issue with is that no character seems to have their own voice, internal or otherwise... They all talk in the same technical, mechanical way (even sometimes with parenthesis in their dialogue), and it makes the story sort of...dull after a while. In addition, the majority of the story(this and last) -tells- rather than shows, making them a little difficult to read. I've been sucked in because it's interesting(the amount of though and detail put in is astounding, and Incredible) , but I find myself scrolling through some sections of the story blankly, or sort of rolling my eyes when another lengthy explanation comes up.

Also, malnourished or not, Harry's health issues are incredibly over the top... Regardless of how time flowed, being on a healthy diet for as long as he was, during his childhood no less, would amend, if not his chemical issues, then at the very least many of his physical ones.

That's not to say that it's not possible to snap bones from a 6ft fall, or acquire any of the other physical injuries he has throughout these fics, but it just seems like you're relying on pain for pain, to give your story more conflicts.

Like I said, though, the attention to detail, and amount of in-world information in this is staggering-I can see this being fleshed out/rewritten(dialogue, storylines, conflicts) with a more substantial and meaningful story, as a series of fics three times their original lengths. (That's not to say that they will be, or that you have the time or even the motivation for that, simply an observation of mine)

Hell, these were done, like, 5 years ago. I don't even know yet if they're abandoned, or completed by the year 2 fic. I'll see when I get there, I guess.
doubledamn chapter 9 . 2/7
Seems kind of odd that, even in the canon, a majority of the homework assigned by the Hogwarts staff is required to be completed in an essay format, and yet, there is no English/Literature course or an 'how to write an essay' intro seminar or anything. These kids join school when they're 11, I doubt they'd have any idea what an essay /is/ apart from lots of words on a page.
Birooksun chapter 12 . 9/26/2017
I will add that as a hypoglycemic (I was denied sugars for years and my pancreas decided to kick into high gear once I started to starve myself) going from low blood sugar to dangerously high can actually happen really easy. I've gone from 77 to 205 from 2 chocolate chip granola bars. So it is very possible that potions with high sugar contents would cause a seizure. Especially when you consider that for someone who needs to rely on natural sugars (I love fake sugars, but they throw my blood sugar up too fast) they can drop to the 50s after 8 hours of not eating.

So I just want to say, yes it is very believable that Harry could act that way after all those potions!
RauthrMystic chapter 10 . 6/2/2017
sadly the longer i reread this series the less i enjoy it. I just finished the troll scene, or the beginning of it perhaps. im startimg to skim so many details are lost. Your Harry is coming accross rather concieted. You bash every charater of the HP universe in some form. Minus Dumbledore, you dont really show show the behaviors of thise your 'bashing'. Its just through your harry stating their various behaviours. In fact the entirety of the wizarding world is shown to be lacking with little to no redeamable features. Your Harry comes accross as antisocial and almoat intentionally aloof and cold to those around him. I realize hes mentally 17 in the body of an 11 year old and physiologically his body is just starting peuberty. i have a hard time beliving that he would be so quick to judge others. I suppose that hes a loner isnt too much of a stretch as youve never really shown him having friends. Idk if im expressing myself well here. My attempt here is to provide constuctive crticism, not complain. In short: you protrayal of Harry, those around hin and the wizarding world in general has become one sided. If you were ever to do a redux of this story i would suggest making thw wizarding world and its people less black and white.
RauthrMystic chapter 3 . 5/15/2017
random: not that there is any wrong with brownish hazel eyes...a more tropical blue/green wouldve been sooooo much prettier lol
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 23 . 3/14/2017
Wondering if the whole high blood sugar production thing will be enough to invalidate Dumbles's old blood. The twist in this chapter with Arcturus was interesting and hopefully drives the plot towards defeating Dumbles. Overall this story has been a fun enough read. There were times where Harry's behavior seemed overly exaggerated and his standoffishness got more than a bit annoying, but I'm glad the plot did progress quite a bit, even if it was a bit slow to start.

-Zetsumei
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 21 . 3/14/2017
Seemed a bit rushed to kill off Voldie like that.

-Zetsumei
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 17 . 3/13/2017
Was definitely hoping to see more fallout from the obliviation, at least from Hermione's point of view. Sure they might never be friends but I would've liked to see her new world view a bit. The fight scene a few chapters back was excellent and I like that Lucy managed to alert Ash about various events.

-Zetsumei
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 9 . 3/13/2017
Hoping to meet some more complex characters soon, so far many of the individuals Harry has met have only been completely against him or largely indifferent, with Lucy being a slight outlier. I understand this story was written a long time ago, but I want to like this story nevertheless and the somewhat one dimensional antagonists are making that task challenging to say the least. Also, I'm sure plenty of people mentioned this in the past but the whole water ban thing seems a bit ridiculous.

-Zetsumei
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 8 . 3/13/2017
Really hope Harry gets some allies soon because there's no way he'll believably get through school being a complete recluse.

-Zetsumei
Shikaku Zetsumei chapter 6 . 3/13/2017
There's definitely a distinct difference between the writing style of this story and your more recent works. Hopefully the you'll flesh out the other characters a bit more later, and hopefully give them less of a 'generic antagonist' feel.

-Zetsumei
Mitsukini Haninozuka chapter 24 . 12/18/2016
More chapters please!
Basket in a Nutcase chapter 23 . 11/13/2016
Hoo boy, this just got a whackload more complicated for everybody
Basket in a Nutcase chapter 14 . 11/13/2016
Gosh frikKIN DAMMIT DUMBLES
Basket in a Nutcase chapter 10 . 11/13/2016
Oh, shoot, are those two gonna be okay?!
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