|Reviews for The Wizard's World: YR 1|
| Guest chapter 14 . 6/3
I loved the first part of this series. I love the realistic way you dealt with Harry's past issues. I loved Ash and how they both became a family. I loved the way they entered into the Wizarding World. (Hilarious, that was)
You're a good writer and there's something about your writing that keeps me wanting to read.
However, there are a few issues that are making this second part in the series hard for me to continue, even though I'm greatly invested in your story.
I realize that you warned of some slight bashing. I figured it wouldnt be a big deal. The problem with 'bashing' is it tends to flatten characters. What were three dimensional characters are now flat and uninteresting antagonists. And extremely grating on the nerves. The bashing was far more intense than you indicated.
Why is it that EVERY single person at Hogwarts, except an extreme few, is either a jerk, a bully, or an idiot? Are there no good people anymore? It's extremely unrealistic. Yes, children can be cruel. But certainly not all of them. All of the teachers are idiots, too. Why are Harry and Ash the only smart, good people around?
I know you said there are reasons for certain things, but as a writer, it is your duty to make extremes believable. Readers can and will believe anything, so long as there is reason to it in the written word.
Characters are more important than description. You have a lovely way with describing the surroundings, but in the end, I rather the effort be put into putting depth into the other characters. One or two extreme characters, you can generally get away with - like Dumbledore being so villainous. But Ron needs a reason for being his bullying self. As does Percy, Fred, and George. No one is truly horrible all the time. They're children, for crying out loud. Hermione is intelligent. I wish she was given more credit or better justification for her awful personality.
And since when does Hagrid threaten to box someone's ears? Especially when its obviously a distraught parent.
Now, I also realize that Dumbledore probably hexed everyone, but still I just wish the characters were more real. I love this story. I've been enjoying it so much. I haven't put it down all day. It had such amazing potential. I hope you can take these comments into consideration as you write future stories. You are a fantastic story teller.
| Guest chapter 18 . 5/14
you are a horrible auther and should quit
| Scout chapter 10 . 4/25
NOOOO! NOT SPY CAT AND DILEMMA!
| The-Horseman-of-Death chapter 7 . 4/15
i quite agree with your assessment of emotional abuse as my first grade teachers turned me from a happy and outgoing friendly child to an emotionally stunted loner utterly incapable of recognising that other children were actively being friendly with me and considered themselves my friends they did that in one school year it was five years before i recognised anybody my age as being my friend and not until i was well into my twenties could i distinguish a real friend from someone trying to use me or bully me about with any reliability i still utterly fail to recognise ordinary things like appropriate topics of conversation, sarcasm, and basic things like why do people need friends, why do people talk about inconsequential matters, what actually constitutes small talk, the difference between conversation and debate, why do people need physical contact with each other and a hundred other things that i know intelectually but don't understand or know if i actually desire them. so i suppose what i'm saying is i understand how difficult it is to recover from abuse and sympathise with other abuse victims and hope they get the help they need i also hope they aren't as badly off as i am. have a nice day and please finish wizarding world yr 2
| Goeno chapter 6 . 4/4
They do seem altered somewhat from their usual personality, particularly Ron. Also, where'd he get the self esteem to be the kind of bully that stands over a person and laughs at them?
| Goeno chapter 2 . 4/4
I'm somewhat relieved, because even the word bashing makes me feel leery.
| theawesomeyvetel chapter 18 . 3/31
Mm. I have a few Psychu-bunnies (Plot Bunnies that specialize in PsychxPokemon xovers) running aroungdmy Plot Bunny farm myself. And a few of yours too. Gerald, get away from Helen, she's busy! Sorry, Gerald's a mischievous Psychu I've had for a while. Anywho, awesome story!
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/19
what would happen if harry potter caught a dementor with a poke ball?
| Guest chapter 24 . 12/26/2014
I think I'm glad I haven't read any of your other stories.
| MWRANDOM chapter 22 . 12/22/2014
Alright. I'm done. It's a good premise that is executed reasonably well. The Harry potter and Fawkes simulacrums were an original and interesting idea. I'm slightly annoyed with your portrayal of Hermione as I tend to like her character and find her being vindictive somewhat hard to swallow. Your spelling and grammer are decent aside from some repeated mistakes such as site instead of sight. I simply can't stand the fact that you once again have Harry going Catatonic after a violent confrontation. I was willing to accept it the first time, the second time I found it annoying but explainable due to his age, but he's emotionally seventeen at this point so it is obvious that this will be a continuuing theme. I find it unnacceptable that he's supposed to be the Prophesied Child and is apparently meant to save two dimensions with his actions and yet every serious confrontation he's in he ends up severely traumatized and unresponsive to outside stimuli. I find it quite annoying that all one needs to do to off him is have a violent confrontation staged to put him in that state and then just walk up and hex him while he's incapacitated.
| hotcat chapter 24 . 12/15/2014
| Guest chapter 14 . 12/14/2014
Time to play a game called Kill the Bitchy Healer (Sorry for cursing, I get emotional reading)
| Guest chapter 7 . 12/13/2014
Yeah, you're right about hanits ingrained in personalities. I have personal experience with it…
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/13/2014
*blinks* Ash, you might be on to something about my life, considering animals literally track me down. A dog followed me to my school for four months.
| theawesomeyvetel chapter 19 . 12/13/2014
Flaming pidgeon, eh? I like it! :)