|Reviews for Fighter|
| thewonderingman chapter 7 . 10/22/2012
Epic story can't wait for the update.
Ps seriously your story rocks.
| Musafreen chapter 1 . 6/17/2012
Hi. /waves 8D
And let's get this over with as soon as possible. I love your OCs, like a lot. The peripheral ones, the main ones. I don't usually even look at OC fics because I couldn't care less, and yours is one of the few exceptions.
The narrative could use a little bit of polishing, but it's pretty good too.
AND OHMIGOD. Ares/Mortal Guy. That's perfect because the gods can totally screw with Biology and stuff. XD XD XD XD
(HA, NOT SPAM. SCREW YOU, TINYCHAT.)
I LOVE your Ares/OC. :3
You know, one does not immediately get "Greek gods are real" from "demigod". But I suppose the Empousa thing might have helped, but there's a little too much general acceptance of the supernatural. Just, minor quibble. XD Don't mind me. I nitpick.
A daughter of Ares/Daughter of Aphrodite friendship? Win.
"Uncle Steve knocked up the God of War! High-five!" DOUBLE WIN.
XD Anyway, I like it so far, I really do. Let me get on to that next chapter.
| Proud to be Plug chapter 2 . 10/29/2011
This is… okay, I guess. The first chapter had a lot of grammar errors, mainly shifting tenses, which can be confusing. The second chapter is better grammatically.
I'm not sure yet if your OC is a Sue or not. I mean, I'm not saying she is, I'm just not sure. The plot is certainly interesting. It wouldn't be my kind of story but it is reasonably well-written. Parts of it seem a little cliche, and other parts seem original. So, it is decent. Tighten up the grammar and maybe give a little less of your character's thoughts. It's not good to give too much detail. Your descriptions are good, though. I appreciate you reviewing my story, so I'm giving you CC on yours because I just want to help.
So, I hope some of that was of help. Thanks again for reviewing my fic!
| bobbsnark chapter 2 . 10/21/2011
Hahah, oh this chapter did make me LOL. :D
There were a few grammar mistakes I spotted, but nothing major.
I love this! It's interesting, and I can't wait for the update. Ares, with a guy? 8D
I saw a few grammar mistakes, but nothing major. Your writing has really improved. :)
| Her.Royal.Cheesyness chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
It's interesting to see the differences between this and your other story.
The first impression of this story was better than for "Kiss". Your writing really has improved. :) Also, there's already hints of foreshadowing and mystery, which shows you've cle, arly plotted this out very well. These unanswered questions, like what was Ares(?) doing there, and the dream at the beginning. Oh, yeah, on the topic of the dream, I think it was a good way to start the story, as it intrigues people.
The setting you've placed your OC in is quite original, so yeah. Kudos for that.
| Stepha227 chapter 1 . 9/23/2011
So good! I really like the characters and ur Oc! I think that this will be a great story to expand on! Please update soon! You are a really good writer and if u continue the story u will get so many reviews! Keep up the good work! Please update soon! Check out my story by clicking on my name! :)
| Road Lizard chapter 1 . 9/13/2011
Your OCs are always so intriguing.
The pace and flow of the chapter were perfect, and errors were minimal. Nicely done.
Great first chapter. Can't wait for an update.
| JordanMathias chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
So, first off, wonderful job! I really loved the UFC idea around the life of a demigod. And the Ares interaction was perfect! He would hang out at a place like that and screw with the fighters! Oh I can't wait to find out who her mom is! It's going to be awesome!
| bobbsnark chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
Ohh. This is intresting and original. :)
Your writing flowed well and I loved the description and everything in the dream.
I'm wondering if her mom is Athena. And what Ares wants with her- assuming that is Ares, of course. XD
Nice work. :)
| SydneyLouWho chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
I really liked this!
It's different, in a refreshing and unique way. I can't wait to read more.
There were a few grammar/punctuation errors, but they were very minor; nothing too distracting.
Other than that slight problem, it was great. It flowed nicely and had a good introduction to the characters.