|Reviews for The Toy Collector|
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 8 . 5/4/2014
In regards to the review I left on chapter 9, I meant "secondly" in the second paragraph. iPhone auto correct is a bitch sometimes.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 9 . 5/4/2014
So, I really liked the plot for this. Was a very cool short story. That said, I think there were a few issues with it.
Emotionally, this just wasn't gripping. At all. None of the parents seemed to care when their kids were taken. No gripping panic, no cold hearted fury, no distress. Hell, none of the cast had any emotions. It was honestly very odd to read.
Seckny, the information about his Harry and Tonks got together needed to be at the beginning, not a flashback in the second to last chapter. I had assumed through the entire story that this was completely AU and that Tonks had never dated Remus. After all, Ron was married to Pansy and Neville had a kid, both of which are completely AU. Hell, not that I like Ginny, but why did she and Harry not work out? It's relevant to the plot. Lastly on this topic, the whole "I want Teddy to know Remus", "you can tell him he taught you how to cast a patronus charm, he'll know his dad" was somewhat laughable. The way it's written makes it sound as if that's all that's needed to *know* who Remus was as a person. Hell, it's NOT even relevant to who he was, aside from implying he was a very good teacher.
Lastly, I was confused as to Teddy's fate. Was it because he was a metamorphagus? When the Aurors found them, you specifically wrote that they did NOT attempt to change the kids back to normal until the effects of the chance had finished for the specific reason that they did not know HOW to reverse them mid change. Then you have Teddy die because someone attempted to fix him mid chance. Conflicting information leads to confusion.
Anyway I did enjoy the plot, aside from some oddities, so nice short story.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 5 . 5/4/2014
...Teddy is 13 right? Why would Tonks not be used to being called Mrs. Potter. Yes she goes by Tonks as her first name , but doubtlessly she would have been called Mrs. Potter plenty of times over at least thirteen years. Just a bit odd.
| Revan Nonaka chapter 9 . 8/6/2012
Oooo, dark and sad.
I feel sorry now...
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 9 . 6/21/2012
Wow. This was a very well done, very haunting story. Powerful stuff. I really liked it, sad ending and all.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 8 . 6/21/2012
Here I was thinking what a lovely series of flashbacks those were, and then BOOM!
I did not see the ending of this chapter coming at all.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 7 . 6/21/2012
I absolutely *loved* that interrogation scene! And I'm glad my suspicions of Seekins appear to be unfounded.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 6 . 6/21/2012
Really, I've said it before, but this is just brilliant. Wonderful.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 5 . 6/21/2012
This seems all too easy for our heroes. For some reason I'm very suspicious of Seekins. Possibly due to the italics!
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 4 . 6/21/2012
Uh-oh. I've been fearing this since Alice was taken.
Harry's concern that James get his first year at Hogwarts was a lovely in-character touch.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 3 . 6/21/2012
This really is just brilliant so far. The butterflies were a nice and ominous touch. I like that the Aurors are making some progress in the detransformations.
Hurrah for Ron and Pansy being together, too!
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 2 . 6/21/2012
I'm likeing this story a lot so far - very suspenseful. I hope there's a happy ending for little Alice.
| Arpad Hrunta chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
Creepy! Good start!
| Bill The Door chapter 9 . 5/17/2012
This is the most unusual fic I've read in a long time, it's very rare for me to find something so unlike everything else. But it is really quite good.
That said it does have some problems. Firstly, who the hell was Seekins? He is an OC, who we know next to nothing about, and yet he seems to solve the entire puzzle on his own. It might just be me, but I think you would have been much better off having Harry or Tonks do that investigating. It would have allowed you to increase the tension a lot more, as it is, I never really got to feel the tension, because all of the problems were solved off screen and by a character I don't know.
It also felt a bit rushed, like you tried to cram 30k worth of a story into 15k. You could have spread it out a bit more, to increase the sense of a mystery, as it is everything was solved a few paragraphs later.
I thought that the decision to kill off Teddy was very good. It's rare to see an author willing to kill off a character like that, and leave bittersweet ending like that.
| seheronelves chapter 9 . 11/28/2011
Dear Awesome Writer,
Though I'm not happy about the death of Teddy, this was a fantastic story :)
The Awed Reader