|Reviews for When Did I Become A Parent?|
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 9 . 8/29/2012
I just love this story so much! Everyone loves Timon (and Pumbaa), but I feel like he was never taken seriously as anything besides, well...comic relief. But you did a superb job writing this, and I'm just going to start listing out all the reasons I can think of off the top of my head because there are too many to keep track of mentally.
Timon was in-character this entire story! When I was reading this, I can actually hear his voice in my head saying the words you put in his mouth. And that's no easy feat, especially when you're trying to make him funny without making the dialogue go in circles. My hat goes off to you.
You blended the movie scenes and the original scenes so well that it flows perfectly with what he was doing and what was happening. You even explained a few plot holes left by TLK 1 or otherwise covered them up so well it's like they never were there.
The humour never felt awkward or lacking. You have Timon interacting with others in ways that you don't see in the films, but like I said above, it never felt out of place or forced. It's like you know exactly how Timon would act, and the dialogue you've come up for him is quite funny at times!
The story had the right emotions. I like how you put a light-hearted spin on most situations Timon's in without effort, but could easily add in something touching whenever the occasion arose. Such as when he was comforting Nala, or talking to Sarabi, or even bringing some grubs for Simba and the pride.
A bit similar to the first point, but I like how you got inside Timon's head so what would initially be a casual movie scene turned into something a lot more thought-provoking and fleshes out the characters more carefully than the films did. I think you might have shown me more to him than I first would have noticed, and I'm sure many others feel the same.
And of course, the ending. Oh my God, the ending. I'll tell you this, I don't get emotional easily. As much as I love reading and writing stories, these things rarely get to me. So it had to take a lot of talent to have gotten me choked up like I did when Simba was running down the gorge with what Timon said echoing in his head. Not to mention Timon's conversation with Mufasa; I got shivers when I was reading the part where Mufasa pointed out all the good that Timon had done for Simba, because it's so true. The unconditional love and caring that Timon and Pumbaa showed for Simba is something I feel never was emphasized nor appreciated enough by most, but you hit the nail on the head.
The only minor thing I would point out is that Kopa didn't die at birth, as seen in the Six New Adventures. Of course, I know you intentionally glazed over that, which is fine. I just thought I'd mention it because I'm actually working on a Lion King story myself, starring, you guessed it, Kopa. But I won't go on since I'm supposed to be reviewing your story.
So, what's my final score for you? A full 10 out of 10, which is extremely rare as I actually have a high expectation when reading stories (oh God, the horrors I've seen on this site). But there are very few stories I feel are so stirring, lifelike, and satisfying as this one, so I'd say you deserve that rating. I can unhesitatingly say that this is among the cream of the crop in Lion King stories, and you yourself are quite a talented author, and I hope to read more of your fantastic works in the near future :)
| Sailor Nibaru chapter 9 . 7/8/2012
Ahh, this was so awesome! ;o; You managed to fit all the events in so well, and arghh, the fluff..! ;A; I was squeeing for most of the fic, heh ; Anyway, this was a joy to read :) Great job!
| Maran Zelde chapter 1 . 6/20/2012
This is an interesting story, and well-written.
Any time I read about a feline attacking someone in a story, it feels so real to me. That's because my sister's cat attacked me three separate times. The wounds got infected every damn time. I hear that cats can get infections from other cats too - their saliva has many different kinds of harmful bacteria.
| R.T chapter 9 . 6/20/2012
Hi, just wanted to tell you that your story is very touching, full of action, adventure, and union family and I love how you wrote all without necesiadad of obscenities as others so please follow the fic
| penName111 chapter 9 . 4/25/2012
Loved it, great story. hope you write more lion king in the future.
| Kick-Aft chapter 9 . 4/15/2012
This is amazing. Though is there going to be another chapter? We know that Timon is injured but was anything lasting? What did the others say when they saw Simba carrying Timon like that?
| FanficFemale chapter 9 . 4/14/2012
I've just got to say this story was beyond awesome. There really isn't enough stories about Simba, Timon, and Pumba's relationship. I thought this was well done and explored the characters and the situations very well. This is definetly going onto my favorites list!
| readsmanyfavsfew chapter 9 . 4/14/2012
Overall this was a good fic. The dialogue was both highly engaging and at times legitimately funny. While occasionally it seemed a bit lackluster. The emotion in the characters was well expressed and they were well developed, you didn't just take the standard archetypes from the movie, you expanded on them and gave them more depth that was both new and sensible, a trademark of a good fanfic. Description was one of my favorite elements of the story, you did an excellent job of enthralling the reader with you words, and you built a very exciting and climactic situation at the cliff with simba. Overall I wouod say as a goal to be a character study on timon, you did an excellent job. You set out to analyze that relationship and that's exactly what you did, although I have to admit I started to desire more from the story.
I would say the biggest weakness of this story is the final chapter. It seems very...rushed in its presentation, particularly how the former antagonists are dealt with. They just sorta go home...not very satisfying on their part atleast. HOWEVER I must remind myself of this stories goal, which was to look at timon, so ignoring the antagonists timon did get somewhat of a satisfying conclusion. Again the final chapter just felt a bit rushed to me, and though it might be unfair to say this that does in a way lessen the quality of all the previous chapters which were excellent by shoe horning in the conclusion so quickly. Still, its a decent ending at the least, hell its an ENDING that alone has merit.
I must say, though the focus was timon I really found myself drawn to the rogue lion and his pride, as well as the struggles of kingship on simba. While they were a tool for timon to have a epiphany, I found myself a little more intrested in them than the parent conflict. (Which is also why I found the resolution a bit lacking) You have a talent for writing good antagonists and physical conflicts, and Id love to see you expand on that if your plate ever clears up. Overall great fic, great language, just great writing. It certainly passes sturgeons law despite its weaknesses, and certainly deserves a favorite. Keep writing, and thanks for the story.
| Pichooi chapter 9 . 4/13/2012
Yay the long awaited update! I found the ending satisfying. Being comfortable being carried in a predators mouth like that really shows a great deal of trust and further enphasises their closeness.
Glad Pumbaa made it out ok too :D I bet he and the others will be shocked to see Timon in his current state but happy he is alive.
Great story well done!
| Demonwolf chapter 9 . 4/13/2012
I think this was a perfect ending. I'm glad for Timon and could really picture Simba carrying him back to Pride Rock. Great story!
| Prats 'R' Us chapter 9 . 4/13/2012
This story totally ROCKED! It was just amazing, I loved all of it. I'm so sad to see it end, I want more! I wanna see how the others react to the news that Timon beat Kondo, I wanna see Pumbaa fuss over Timon, I wanna see the crazy monkey!
All in all this story is an instant fave. Best Lion King story I've read so far.
| Argen-Lobo-Ridder chapter 9 . 4/13/2012
your welcome! I did find the ending statisfying so you've got one statisfied reader.
Do you plan to write more Disney fics?
| WriterMonkey0626 chapter 9 . 4/13/2012
Great story. I absoultly loved it :)
| LittleMeerkatGirl chapter 8 . 3/18/2012
Wow. That is all I can say. I read the entire thing in one sitting. This story is just..so perfect. It is written so well.. and your take on Timon's relationship with Simba is just so neat and interesting.. I absolutely loved it. I'm a little scared for Timon's health though! I've gotta know what happens! Update soon :D
| Tenkasen chapter 8 . 3/1/2012
Very interesting. I do like your take on everything and how you've tried to fit all movies into one constant storyline that makes sense. You've done very well. I can't wait to see what you have in store next.