|Reviews for Respite|
| AzazelLuciferDeathCrowley chapter 4 . 4/5/2012
the assault cool
| orionastro chapter 4 . 11/1/2011
good story, im thinking of starting a story, wich will start after the last war, and a scientist discovers animated suspension, so the principal cities are transformed in space cities, And leave the Planet to another star system . Tell me if it is a good story?
| Genius-626 chapter 4 . 9/19/2011
another brilliant chapter! you know, i've gotta say that I admire your bold moves as a writer. not a lot of priest fanfiction goes this far into the possible future or gets this detailed. i struggle wih detail myself, i usually skip things like meeting other priests or making stratagies because i'm afraid I wouldn't do it justice.
a general word of advice- and I can't read your mind or anything so i dont know how accurate this is- but in my experience, writing furiously fast for popular demand isn't always the best thing to do. and judging by your authors notes, i can tell that you may be running into difficuties deciding what exactly to do with the story. i sugget taking your time and writing a few different drafts to see what could be happening. i'm doing that for one of my priest stories, i've been stuck on the plot months now, but i've finally got it together.
best wishes for your story. i'll be reading ;)
| Danae L. Black chapter 4 . 9/19/2011
You haven't bitten off more than you can chew! Just take your time, chew enough so that it doesn't get stuck in your throat, and swallow smaller bits at a time. :) I know you can make it work. This seems like it'll be a decently long story (I'm doing a mental fist-pump while I think about it) but take it in sections. Make a rough outline of what you want to happen, and add your ideas and details on it as they come to you. It will take you however long it takes to get this story written, and there's no need to rush. This isn't NaNoWriMo.
I like how you've named the other warriors.
I don't know if you put in line breaks for scene changes and ff.n didn't show them, or if you missed doing those, but they would definitely help. It took me a moment to mentally change scenes without the line breaks, and it was confusing the first couple sentences each time the scene switched (but it was good to see both pairings in one chapter).
Smart idea about Priests not using firearms. Cyber thumbs-up to you. And longer chapters for the win. :)
| Chades chapter 4 . 9/19/2011
That was insanely fast again!Thank you so much!
This chapter really reveals how grim the situation is and your description sets the mood the scenes with the notes written in blood and the empty town being covered in dust were particularly to my taste.
Their "names" were slightly confusing for me but Ill probably get used to it so excited on whats going to happen in future chapters its scaring me a bit-your story is quite addictive.
I also liked your explanation on why Priests dont usually use guns since the movie didnt give us one and are we happy with your content for the next chapter?Hell yes!
| Genius-626 chapter 3 . 9/17/2011
yes, loved this chapter :) Lucy's portrayal was great, in my opinion. as for what Priests call each other...in my fics, I made up last names for them because thats what i Felt was most realistic.
Can't really think of anything critical, I just love your writing
| Danae L. Black chapter 3 . 9/17/2011
I'm still smirking about the 'bad-ass tattooed absent father' comment. You forgot attractive. ;)
I think Lucy was fine. The seemed strong enough (personality-wise) in the movie that I do not think you over did her, and after her parents deaths and kidnapping, it only makes sense that she's still recovering. You did not overcompensate her and Priest's conversation.
I vote that we get both sets of people next chapter!
Everything I have found online states them only as 'Priest' and 'Priestess'. In the movie they never directly refer to one another by any sort of name, they just . . . make communication work. You've handled that well so far, so I don't see a need to suddenly give them names or a way to decipher them. And any other stories I've read have had OC warriors having names, to differentiate and I've found that to work (when reading).
Whatever you choose to do with mature content in this story is fine. I personally like a bit of gore and sexuality, it adds flavor, but that doesn't mean you need a ton. What you've done so far is appropriate. Drop the rating to what you think is appropriate for what you've written (I know ff.n has a chart somewhere that explains their rating system). Everything you've written so far has been PG-13 at the most (to me) so don't worry about going overboard. Quit worrying and just write! I'm still enjoying it. :)
| Lady Krystalyn chapter 3 . 9/17/2011
Lucy was great. I think it was a very realistic conversation given the little we say them interact in the movie.
Maybe you could split the next chapter between both journeys? Half Priest and Priest, half Lucy and Hicks? I don't know if that works for how you plan to write their next scenes but it would be a nice balance and highlight that its happening at the same time?
As for the names, hmmm, that is the ultimate question isn't it? lol I think Roman numerals, while plausible, would be kind of annoying to read. Hometown names would be interesting (and again equally plausible) but how would they differentiate between multiple Priests from the same hometown (though maybe that wouldn't happen given how rare they were)? Personally, I would think the church would give them new Biblical names like the Catholic church does with priests and nuns. That seems to be the most common thread I've seen in other "Priest" stories.
I think you could certainly drop the rating to T if not PG-13.
Keep up the good work!
| Chades chapter 3 . 9/17/2011
A very short review this time,sorry.
I was insanely happy when I saw that there was another chapter online and I think that you did a good job including a bit more of Lucy and Hicks this time.
Lucys reaction-no need to not feel confident about it! I wasnt too sure if I could relate to the way she reacts/if it made sense to me but I thought about it for a few minutes and I like dont see too much of her personality during the course of the movie but her stealing that knife/fighting back on the train stuck with me so I guess her not getting all weepy and overly emotional was a good choice.
(I feel very inept trying to express my thoughts today,I hope you can at least guess what Im talking about.)
For some reason that last sentence sent shivers down my spine-together with the "Well see you in a week" its rather creepy in my eyes and I loved Lucy clutching Hicks jacket for support-a very nice touch.
The big question:What do they call each other? Thats hard to choose the numerals or names or their actual names-what happens of theres more than one Priest/Priestess from one town?Surely that mustve happened and the actual names:With the way the church came across (keeping them apart after the war,not helping them fit in) allowing them to use their names would make them actual people and from the vibe I got neither the clergy(?) nor the rest of the citizens viewed them as the tattoo wiped out all personality..then again during the war they need to bond to a certain degree to be efficient against vampires(trusting others to have your back) and only using a number isnt all that great either.
I think I might have lost where I was going with this,excuse my was based on a comic book but since theres pretty much nothing of that storyline left I wouldnt want you to use Priests name (Ivan Isaacs) and for personal preferences and being a selfish being I vote against the biblical names,too.
Ill see which one itll be,right? :)
Dropping the rating would probably be let someone younger than me check if theyre "disturbed" by the hinted at sex because my opinion isnt that objective I guess.
This got longer than I anticipated-thanks again for the update and I apologize profusely for rambling on and on and on and I hope its clear enough what I wanted to express part of the not feel free to poke me with a stick-Ill try to paraphrase it.
Have a nice weekend(if theres any left of it.)
| Lady Krystalyn chapter 2 . 9/16/2011
This is one of the most realistic post-movie fics I've read so far, and I'm really enjoying it. Can't wait for the next chapter! Oh, and don't worry about the dream sequence, that wasn't explicit at all for an M rated story.
| Danae L. Black chapter 2 . 9/15/2011
If you tone it down I will be very disappointed. You can amp it up a good deal too and I won't mind one bit. :) I'll be patient, but definitely excited for more chapters. If it means you don't skimp, take your time. (Not much is worse than a truly good story not given enough body)
| Genius-626 chapter 2 . 9/15/2011
DUDE, I love this. for one thing, you almost had me goin there, but it was a DREAM! nice. seriously, very nice use of 'oh look I totally tricked you' there.
I really like your style of writing; mature, precise, filled with emotion. yeah, I don't really have anything badish to say. keep writing! :)
| Chades chapter 2 . 9/15/2011
I promised Id let you know what I think of Ch 2 and so I will:
No need to tone anything down-considering what books are available in the teen section nowadays this is nothing to worry this story is rated M anyone can choose whether or not theyre "brave" enough to read it anyway. :)
I can only repeat that I love your writing style-your words make all of this come to live in my mind and thats something not everyone even the "professional" delighted and most importantly:
Your story makes me want to draw again and that only happens if a story is really good!
Both dreams were spectacular!The scene with Black Hat in the Hive was chilling and the last part very hot and sensual without being too much.
Their conversation is nicely done again and even though they dont speak that much you somehow manage to convey their emotions.I cant really describe that, language barrier..it happens sometimes.
Last time I forgot that I think your invention of the salve was a nice touch and the bit about scars aching in the cold made me wince in sympathy(broken bones ache,too,even after theyve healed.)
What I also forgot is to say that I liked the Hicks/Lucy ,sweet,without ruining the balanced and an entirely enjoyable you!
P. told me that it would be shorter but..argh,why?(Rhetorical thankful enough that you updated this quickly.)
| Danae L. Black chapter 1 . 9/14/2011
No, not too emo. I like the characterizations. In the scarce hour and a half the movie gives us, the emotions we are given are strong yet open-ended. I like how in the first chapter you're building a stable foundation for not only a professional relationship, but the possibility of a romantic relationship between Priest and Priestess. (Yes, I ship them. Yes, I want to see lots more between them.) You've also started the story off realistically for what they could do, picking up where the movie left off. I'm eager to read more chapters, and to also see where you take us with Lucy and Hicks, and all the entwined relationships of these four.
| Chades chapter 1 . 9/13/2011
I really want to hug you and scream at you how awesome you are but since I dont think that would be acceptable Ill keep this bout of fangirly-ism mostly to myself.
Youre very gifted and I enjoyed reading this very what weve seen in the movie I think your characterization was spot on and I loved how you wrote their relationship so far.(That scene in the movie made me silently go "Aww,beautiful!" in the cinema.)
Id be delighted if you would continue this story and no,it most definitely wasnt too opposite really considering what they went through.I guess had you written it differently I wouldnt have found it that realistic..since I am a weak woman feel yourself hugged. ;)
P. ,for my less than perfect not my native language so if something sounds weird please ignore it.