|Reviews for Afterglow|
| Reader chapter 2 . 7/19
This is good, but I have to call bullshit on one part in chapter 2. I have seen girls between the ages of nine and eleven whose parents obviously shopped at a store that must be called 'Jail Bait,' because half of the skirts I've seen them wear are barely miniskirts and the tops may as well not be there. Maybe this particular woman had a moral bone or two in her body, but with what I just laid out, I cannot see her objecting to a fourteen year old wanting to dress provocatively. And yes, I've seen parents who are proud to dress their preteen daughters up like sluts. Fucking sickos shouldn't be allowed to have or raise kids.
And Dave came inside alright.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/17
Please ! Please ! Please ! Write more and if you do a m rated story would be nice :-P
| apple sauce chapter 4 . 5/10/2014
this is whickity whack bitches
| NJHarris chapter 5 . 3/24/2014
As much as Marcus may hate the idea of Mindy's engagement, as this present time, thinking that Mindy will simply abandon him is ridiculous. Marcus has been just as much a Father to Mindy as Damon has. Marcus has been there to care for her, and to love her when Damon wasn't able. There's no way Mindy would simply "abandon" him because she's fallen in love with her best friend, and gotten engaged. Mindy may very well love Dave "more than life itself." but Marcus is her Father, and she will always love him for being just that.
I'm glad Cas was able to knock some damn sense into him "But you have to remember, Marcus: you will always be a part of that life.".
I've always liked the idea of these two becoming friends when Dave and Mindy did. It's a real shame it was never explored in the "original universe", both film and comic. But that's where fanfic comes in!
"particularly that Mindy and I may have the strength to walk the dark and twisted paths of this world together" Now I'm not a religious man, but I have to admire someone who prays not only to be watched over, but for the love of his life too. With their future together there's definitely going to some troubles, especially in the early days considering the age gap between them. But also their lives as vigilantes will bring its own "trials and tribulations". Going to see his Mother at this time is a wonderful idea. With both Dave and Mindy becoming a couple, what their deceased parents would have thought about it is one of the things I've loved people to explore. That with their wonderful friendship, and eventual courtship, seeing those two together would be a wonderful thing from a parents point of view. With the age gap, perhaps there would be little hesitancy to accept it, but you wouldn't be able to deny just how great these two are together.
With Mindy going to the warehouse to pay her respects, is another way to not only celebrate her future life, but to never forget her past. "You've got a good thing going with Dave. Don't waste even a moment of it. Okay?" Even though this is what Mindy is dreaming what she hopes Damon would say, you can only hope that this would be his reaction to the news. That even though she's still young, she has a wonderful future ahead with Dave. Who wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her.
Really enjoyed this chapter, along with the story as a whole! A great bonus chapter!
| NJHarris chapter 4 . 3/23/2014
Just about any Father would be angry if he found out his underage daughter was sleeping with an older partner. Seen as Marcus has also known Dave for some time now too, he more than likely feels betrayed by the trust he bestowed in him to keep Mindy as safe as he possibly can. Even though he had to steal John Cleese' story to justify his anger, as well as Dave and Mindy's inevitable troubles with their more intimate relationship, he does make some very valid points.
With the age gap, Dave is liable to jail time. There's no other way to look at it. Yes these two break the law by being vigilantes, but Dave wouldn't be able to hide behind the mask with "the statutory rape charges" he would receive. As I said, and as Dave and Mindy have both said too, if they truly love each other waiting is the best option for them. Which is where the second half of this chapter truly shone for me.
When Dave and Mindy finally spoke after their 2 days of silence, I didn't know what to expect. Their confrontation that began to garner suspicion and wandering eyes made mine widen. But even with their "forbidden love" they were still prepared to fight for it, and didn't care what anyone else has to say about it. As soon as Dave got down on one knee, I think I stopped breathing for a second. I had to look away from the screen, rub my eyes for a moment, and dive back into reading. I had to make sure I had actually read this "Dave got down on one knee". Mindy wasn't prepared?! Hell I wasn't prepared! But I knew that deep down, this is the path they were going to take, and exactly what I love to see in a "Dandy" fluff fic.
The "promise ring" was the perfect way for Dave to let Mindy know she's the only girl for him. That he doesn't care what the world thinks, because Mindy is the girl he loves. His speech before getting down on one knew was perfect, because it outlines exactly what their relationship so wonderful. "Every story in my life for the last 3 years that is worth telling begins with the words 'Mindy and I,'" This line was my personal favourite!
The one thing that put me off of their relationship from the beginning was the fact they decided to take the next step, which was the physical stage. With Mindy still being underage, that pretty much set in stone my personal thoughts on the relationship. But this here "I know we're not ready to get married yet, but I can wait. I want us to take our time and do this right." This is what they needed to do from the moment they decided to take their friendship to a new level. If they're in love fair enough, I wouldn't get in the way of it. But by having sex they made the wrong move, this however is my opinion (as well as a law, but lets not get into that). What they needed to do was wait from the beginning. Love is worth the wait, is it not?
Really enjoyed this chapter! If there's one thing I love about these two as a couple, it's that they're always prepared to fight for the love they have for one another.
| NJHarris chapter 3 . 3/21/2014
As soon as I saw Marcus' name at the top of the chapter, my eyes went wide! As soon as he heard Dave's voice answering Mindy's phone, he's already wondering "what the hell!". So am I too, why is Dave answering her phone? Haha!
"There's no reason for me to be concerned." Good god, I don't think Marcus was going to be prepared for what he was about to see the next day. He was already a little suspicious, so deciding to sneak a peak into his own home was understandable.
"My heart stops in my chest" I'm pretty sure this is exactly what would happen to me if I was in his position. Only I had this image in my mind of Marcus kicking his front door in and yelling out for Dave. Ready to bash his head in as he's now come to the realisation that "He's fucking my daughter." However, this was not the case. Instead Marcus seems to be having a confrontation with his own thoughts on what he's just witnessed. Running through his mind is the complete disbelief at the thought of his "14-year-old adopted daughter is having sex with her 19-year-old best male friend." But somehow, deep inside, he knew that it was going to happen. That Dave and Mindy's relationship was already incredibly close, he perhaps didn't expect it to happen that quickly. But he's in too much shock to register that he did in fact see this coming.
"Tomorrow, I teach Dave a lesson he isn't going to forget." Even though Marcus has decided to leave them alone for tonight, what's going to happen the following day is something I cannot wait to read! Reading from Marcus' pov of the situation made this a great chapter! As he is her "father", his reactions and thoughts on their relationship need to be heard.
| NJHarris chapter 2 . 3/21/2014
Even from Mindy's perspective, it's still difficult to want these two to be together when she's still too young. After wanting to be with Dave go so long, I can imagine that now having him, has allowed her to finally be able to act the way always wanted to around him. To go out and buy herself clothes that will catch his eye, which was hilarious when she said "I DO mind you saying so." Not gunna lie about that. It's allowed them to go out together, obviously keeping their secret, but knowing that when she gets home they can have the "alone time" they want. She's able to spent her free time with Dave doing what's she's wanted too for so long.
But as much as I want that for her, this is a "Dandy" fic of course so I want them to be together, but it's still in the back of my mind that they should have just waited.
But what I do love about these two, is just how unique they both are. That to each other, they're perfect "Only Dave could do those things. So only Dave had managed to steal her heart." It's hard not to love them with lines like that. This one too "You're my Dave, and I'll never you go."
It's clear these two are in love, and perfect or one another. But again, it's difficult for me to be a happy about it. Another great chapter!
| NJHarris chapter 1 . 3/20/2014
After the numerous stories I've read with Dave and Mindy, their relationship has managed to steer towards their eventual courtship. Both characters click so well that becoming a couple seemed certain, and there was no other way around it. However, with Mindy still being young it's difficult for me to be excited about their relationship as a couple. Don't get me wrong I love these characters, and I've become a sucker for a good "Dandy" fluff-fic. But I've always thought that a girl like Mindy is worth the wait. That no matter how much you want to be with that person, waiting for them to be old enough is the best way to go.
With PC, we already know just how much Mindy wants to be with Dave. And I've always thought to myself that all she has to do was wait. But of course her incredible stubbornness always drove her to keep at it. Having also read OH, I have quite a low opinion of Dave in that story. So here, Dave having slept with her has brought up the disliking I have towards him in OH.
But deep down, I know that if their relationship is well written. Where the author is able to capture just what makes these two perfect for one another, and mould it to their own interpretation it's difficult not to want them to be together at the same time. I mean you've already established that Dave is aware of the consequences (I can just about imagine Marcus' reaction, and it won't be good). It's not a lust for a younger girl either, it's love. And people always say that when you're in love, it doesn't matter. And Dave is prepared to take on the world with Mindy by his side, because hi love for her is real.
"I will always be here for you, Mindy. I will always love you and protect you, as long as I have a single breath in my body." And then he comes out with a line like this. But it's still hard to be happy for them when she's still too young, even though I love them together as a couple.
Even though I'm on the fence with their relationship, I'm not gunna stop reading. Like I said I'm a sucker for "Dandy Fluff", so I'm here to stay. I'm really interested to see how this turns out for them. A great opening chapter.
| KrRcksMySx chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
I really liked this story :) I finished it but wanted to leave my review on the 1st chapter because I loved the way you wrote the opening. It just sounds so poetic :) That's why I had to add it to my faves (not cause it smut or anything... Okay that too).
Very well written, adorable story line, funny interactions, and perfect fluff to smut ratio :)
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 5 . 8/29/2013
Mako's characters are taking over the fandom. I love it!
Well last chapter, pretty much all I have to say is that I like your writing. I like the way you describe things.
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 4 . 8/29/2013
Makokam kinda gave me a spoiler, but I totally didn't expect that!
You guys are killing me. The fluff is going to eat me up!
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 3 . 8/29/2013
Omigah! My heart was in my throat!
Prepping her?! Lol the thoughts of a father.
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 2 . 8/29/2013
You're right... I do mind!
I happen to think you did Mindy just fine! And once again. I'm reading at work. Smh.
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
So Mako sent me. Uff. Creative juices? I've got to stop reading because I'm at work. Lol got me squirming at my station. Sheesh!
I liked your use of anatomically correct words where applicable. Mons pubis? You surprised me. Lol. Will have to continue this ANOTHER time.
| FictionalMasterpiece chapter 3 . 8/26/2013
I love the story but Dave is only 3 years older than Mindy not 5. In Kick Ass 2 he's 18 and she's 15. It is a good story but the devil is in the details.