|Reviews for The Lion King III: The Lost Prince|
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 5 . 11/10/2012
Aww, that's heartbreaking. At least I know Simba's pain will soon be alleviated, even if Chaka himself doesn't know who he is just yet. It's cool how you remember that he likes grubs, as Timon and Pumbaa did offer them to him before and he didn't mind them. Funny that they don't recognize him though, or the other way around.
"Babysitting a pair of cubs" is right. But I love the relationship you've set up between Kovu and Chaka. The way they talk to each other is hilarious, especially the line "You smell like a buffalo's ass" XD. Although I'm wondering, did Chaka make a cheap shot when they were fighting, by kicking him in the...you know...
Oh shoot, Mheetu's in trouble. I hope he doesn't get killed by Scar! *grips edges of table tightly*
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 4 . 11/10/2012
Wow, Scar scares me, and that's saying something considering he didn't really scare me in the first film. I'm wondering what Kidonda's motivation for working with him is, since he's clearly afraid of getting killed by him.
Now I see, the problem isn't finding Kopa and bringing him home, but getting him to realize who he really is. I'm not sure how you'll pull that off, but I'm just hoping it'll be more than just him returning to the Pridelands and suddenly remembering. Still, you don't strike me as the type to put cop outs in your story, so I'm guessing it'll be more than that.
I'm surprised that Mheetu is going to stay behind. Doesn't he want to return to the Pridelands now that Scar's not the king? Or is he going to go once he deals with Scar? Either way, I hope he doesn't get separated from Chaka for long.
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 3 . 11/9/2012
Whoa, so Scar did escape those hyenas. He doesn't seem to be in good shape though, physically or mentally. Things certainly are happening very quickly in this story, and there's no telling what's coming next. Nice way to end the chapter!
I also like how you were very in-character with everyone, especially Timon and Pumbaa. The dialogue was spot-on, and you really are a natural when it comes to adding humour to an otherwise serious story. I'm going to see if Kovu liked getting crushed by a smelly warthog...
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 2 . 11/9/2012
I see you like making references to early concepts of The Lion King that some people may not know about; Kovu calling Kiara "Shani", for example. My only problem with this is what language the characters are speaking if not Swahili, or if they're really even speaking English. Then again, I don't think it's too important, but I just like to wonder about these things.
It's interesting how you have Kiara ponder what happens to those who aren't kings. It reminds me of something that occurs in another Lion King fanfiction I've read. Have you come across the story "When Did I Become a Parent?" by Bookworm Gal? If you haven't, I strongly suggest you do so. It's an excellent story and what actually motivated me to write my own TLK fanfic, one of the reasons being that she had a great answer for your question (or rather, Kiara's question).
I wasn't expecting Kiara to find Kopa already, if that really is him (and I'm 99% certain it is). But I'm guessing that the important part of the story is what they do after they find each other, not before. Mheetu and Chaka also have a very interesting relationship; at first I was worried because when I read your first chapter, I was afraid I had accidentally made my Kopa's-companion-character, Tumaini, too similar to Mheetu. But I'm glad to see I dodged that bullet. I am surprised that Mheetu didn't see the resemblance between Kiara and Nala, although to be fair he's been away a long time and might not have even seen his sister in her full adult form. It'll be interesting to see what happens next though.
On a note of constructive criticism, you might want to look over your phrasing sometimes. For sentences such as "Kiara returned to the cliff where her brother fell many times throughout the following days", I understand what you're trying to say, but the order in which you place the words make it sound as if Kopa was there and fell off the cliff many times, rather than Kiara went to the cliff many times. Other than that and the note I made on the previous chapter, good job, this story is becoming more and more interesting!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 1 . 11/9/2012
This story looks very interesting so far! I'm a little perplexed at your intentionally breaking the fourth wall, but I I suppose the laughs are well worth it. In truth, it's not far off from Timon and Pumbaa's usual style of humour, and I can respect that you want to integrate a comedic element into your writing (I sometimes feel like I'm a little too serious with mine). It's also cool how you include the family tree that's seen in the Six New Adventures, and how Rafiki hid Kopa's branch to keep him a secret from Kiara.
I can tell right away that Chaka is Kopa, just from the dream. There's also the fact that Chaka was going to be Simba and Nala's son in the original script of the second film. I wonder what he's doing with Mheetu though...do either of them know of their relationship with each other? Oh well, guess I'll find out later in the book.
This is a very good chapter, but it feels just a bit rushed. You have a nice way of describing things, but if you could slow down a bit and give time to elaborate on the characters' thoughts and feelings, it could be even better. Still, this could be one of those stories you've finished and are leaving as a milestone, and it hasn't been edited in a while, so you don't have to listen to me :P
| dakota chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
i love it its a great story and kopa is awesome and that scar it still alive is cool
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 9 . 10/21/2012
Nicely done. I agree on alot of this like Kopa being thought to dead instead of actually being dead. I'm actually one of those people that does no research on the movies I watch so I only knew what the movie displayed. i learned about Kopa, Mheetu, and other book featured characters from reading fanfictions. I liked many of them such as Kopa so I was able to gather everything I knew about him and make story for him myself. If you have the time please check out my story called Tale of Two Kings. Ignore everything else because it has nothing to do with Lion King.
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 8 . 10/21/2012
Uh-huh...I don't know what to say...All I know is that Kopa has quite a mouth on him, Kovu cares more about his mother than he lets on, and Scar is apparently much more cruel than I ever thought.
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 7 . 10/21/2012
Once again, yikes! And how does one forget to mention that a murderous and berserk tyrant of a lion is actually alive and not dead. Eh, guess his mind was seriously preoccupied. Nice work!
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 6 . 10/21/2012
This is so funny. I love Rafiki, I know Timon and Pumbaa are the comedic relief characters but I always felt that Rafiki was the most funniest. This is fantastic despite my vocabulary dislikes!
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 5 . 10/20/2012
Poor Simba...I feel so sorry for him. And I like the distrust between Chaka/Kopa and Kovu, I never thought of the first time of them meeting would be with them not liking each other. But I think it totally fits. Can't wait to read the rest!
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 4 . 10/20/2012
Again yikes, but with alot more emphasis. Scar is more than nuts, he's gone fullout insane. Eating your own mate and acting as if the facts don't exist. I am so glad there is some comedic relief of Kovu, Timon, and Zazu trying to wash off Pumbaa stink. Good job!
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 3 . 10/20/2012
Yikes, that was something I was not expecting. The hyenas supposedly ate him, guess he snuck off somehow. Good workbut who was that other lion? Ah well.
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 2 . 10/20/2012
I feel the vocabulary in this story is a bit more than fits my liking but I don't want to stop reading. And I take back my earlier comment about Pumbaa. I really do like this story though.
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
I both hate and love it when a writer breaks the fourth wall. Het becasue it breaks the illusion. I'm not one to talk since I've done it before. Love because it's usually hilarious and adds more comedic relief to the supposed to be sad and serious story. Anyway, so far it's god and I love reading about Kopa. He was such a big missing factor to the movie but I know it was all intended. I have no complaints except for the fact that you made Pumbaa a little more stuid then I would've liked. But then again, it's your story.