|Reviews for The Lion King III: The Lost Prince|
| Bookworm Gal chapter 9 . 1/11/2013
An intriguing and interesting story. You created a nice balance of humor and drama. I'll go check out the rest.
| Dakota chapter 3 . 11/25/2012
I think this is amazing im glad that kopa is noticed
| LionDreamerAKAfan chapter 2 . 11/11/2012
I love you Asante, ur the best writer EVER!
| LionDreamerAKAfan chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
oh my god asante, i love you!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 9 . 11/10/2012
"Get off me!" Kopa roared.
"What?" Kovu scoffed.
"Not you!" Kopa snapped.
I love how you have time for humour even at the climax of the story. Whether Kopa likes it or not, it looks like he really is bonding with Kovu. Even if they're still insulting each other and won't admit they're friends, I think actions speak louder than words ;)
Man, Kovu has skills, and I bet it felt good for him to claw Scar's eye like that, as payback for what he's due. Ironic how Scar fell to his death in a similar fashion Mufasa did (and in the same place too). Good riddance.
I find myself liking Boga's character. She's always doing stuff that makes Sabini chide her. I hope she gets enough of a role in the sequel, because I think she's hilarious.
Oh my God, so much humour. Kiara hugging Kopa with a broken rib, and his response to Kovu's suggestion to let Rafiki tend to him. How do you come up with all these ideas? I find myself constantly coming up short for room to put a comedic twist to my stories, and now I'm wondering if I should have tried harder in that respect.
I wonder what Vitani is thinking when she sees Kopa. But for some reason, I don't think it's her "not liking him very much". Can't quite put my finger on the reason why though. Guess I'll find out in the next book ;)
Ooh, a third child! I don't think anyone's ever done that before in a Kopa story, but I'm sure you have a role in mind for this unnamed child in the sequel. Another reason for me to want to read it.
So Kovu and Kiara are giving up the throne. Guess it's good that he's not going to be conflicted about this decision, and Kiara did say in The Lion King II that she didn't want to be queen. And even if Kopa doesn't accept it just yet, I'm sure he'll do fine as the ruler. Guess everyone wins.
I was in the middle of writing your review when I saw yours on my second story. So you're going to kill Sarabi too, huh. Ah well, at least you make more happy endings than I do, since you're not as evil to your characters as I am to mine :P Also, I disagree with your idea of me being a "better" writer, since I believe writing has many levels of complexity and if you write a good story as well, it's not a linear fact of who's "better". I happen to think we have different writing styles (although I also see a lot of common ground) and therefore we each have our respective pros and cons.
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and I see your next one is quite long (54,000 words, yikes!), but I'll be sure to get through it. I notice that it's been a while since you finished that one, and I remember you said you had writer's block. I'm hoping you'll be able to get to writing the last story in the trilogy by the time I finish the Rogue Pride (I've seen your art on that website, and it looks like you already have a plan in mind). If you're having trouble, I can refer you to a guide by a professional author on how to plan and outline a good story before you write it. I can send it to you via private messaging, since I'm not sure if you're allowed to post links in a review. So, that's that, good job once again, looking forward to what comes next!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 8 . 11/10/2012
This chapter is amazing. I can feel the tension in the air and visualize everything that's happening. There are so many connections between the characters right now that my heart is actually racing to see what's going to happen next.
But to be honest, the "Your ass is mine" line sounds kinda...well, lame. In my opinion, it's something a cliché movie character would say, and even though I suppose it's part of Kopa's character, it just feels out of place to me.
I see you've introduced several of the other Six New Adventures characters, Kula, Tama, Sabini, and Boga. You even put in Timira, who if I'm not mistaken, was supposed to be betrothed to Simba's son, then named Chaka. I hope you have something planned for her in the next story, because it'd be interesting to see how everything's going to turn out. Although...you're on the Kopa/Vitani bandwagon, aren't you? Ah well, time will tell.
One misuse of wording, "I don't give a shit," Kopa rejoined. I think you meant "retorted".
So Kidonda died the pitiful death that suited him. I can't say I'll miss him, although I'm slightly curious as to what his backstory is and where he came from. He didn't really play much of a role in the story except to serve as a distraction for Scar, so I'd like to see who he was before he fell in with him.
And so Scar finally meets his stepson. This confrontation certainly didn't disappoint, and I imagine Kovu probably had a secret yearning to have the chance to confront him about all the pain and misery he had caused him. It's also nice to see Kopa putting himself in harm's way for Kovu, who in return expresses open concern. I knew they cared 3
Onto the final chapter!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 7 . 11/10/2012
Ahh, so it's the family tree that saves the day. Should've figured, but I almost forgot about it. Nicely executed, and the moment of realization is also very touching - and of course Scar has to step in and ruin it. It looks like Mheetu's reunited with Nala as well, although I would have expected them to recognize each other right away with their distinguishing traits. Ah well, onto the next chapter, it looks like things are really getting intense. Hope Kiara is going to be alright!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 6 . 11/10/2012
"Lighthearted travelling song"...I think of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Or maybe "Hakuna Matata" even, as it'd be amusing if they taught that song to Kiara.
Chaka's exasperation of "Royals" is funny, because in a lot of stories they do practice incest. Not to mention, I'm reminded of the play Hamlet, where Uncle Claudius is accused of being incestuous because he married his brother's wife, even if there was no blood relations between them.
Lol, now Chaka and Kovu have resorted to name-calling. I didn't even know the word "asshole" was in Kovu's vocabulary. Still, their rivalry will be amusing in the future, since I'm predicting they won't hate each other as much as they let on.
Trust Rafiki to step in and do what no one else can. Once again, you've done an excellent job of capturing his character, I was quite amused with the way he talked with Chaka. And hit him over the head with the stick as well, what followed cracked me up. "If this doesn't work, I'm going to eat you." Nice way to end the chapter, I can't stop laughing XD
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 5 . 11/10/2012
Aww, that's heartbreaking. At least I know Simba's pain will soon be alleviated, even if Chaka himself doesn't know who he is just yet. It's cool how you remember that he likes grubs, as Timon and Pumbaa did offer them to him before and he didn't mind them. Funny that they don't recognize him though, or the other way around.
"Babysitting a pair of cubs" is right. But I love the relationship you've set up between Kovu and Chaka. The way they talk to each other is hilarious, especially the line "You smell like a buffalo's ass" XD. Although I'm wondering, did Chaka make a cheap shot when they were fighting, by kicking him in the...you know...
Oh shoot, Mheetu's in trouble. I hope he doesn't get killed by Scar! *grips edges of table tightly*
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 4 . 11/10/2012
Wow, Scar scares me, and that's saying something considering he didn't really scare me in the first film. I'm wondering what Kidonda's motivation for working with him is, since he's clearly afraid of getting killed by him.
Now I see, the problem isn't finding Kopa and bringing him home, but getting him to realize who he really is. I'm not sure how you'll pull that off, but I'm just hoping it'll be more than just him returning to the Pridelands and suddenly remembering. Still, you don't strike me as the type to put cop outs in your story, so I'm guessing it'll be more than that.
I'm surprised that Mheetu is going to stay behind. Doesn't he want to return to the Pridelands now that Scar's not the king? Or is he going to go once he deals with Scar? Either way, I hope he doesn't get separated from Chaka for long.
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 3 . 11/9/2012
Whoa, so Scar did escape those hyenas. He doesn't seem to be in good shape though, physically or mentally. Things certainly are happening very quickly in this story, and there's no telling what's coming next. Nice way to end the chapter!
I also like how you were very in-character with everyone, especially Timon and Pumbaa. The dialogue was spot-on, and you really are a natural when it comes to adding humour to an otherwise serious story. I'm going to see if Kovu liked getting crushed by a smelly warthog...
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 2 . 11/9/2012
I see you like making references to early concepts of The Lion King that some people may not know about; Kovu calling Kiara "Shani", for example. My only problem with this is what language the characters are speaking if not Swahili, or if they're really even speaking English. Then again, I don't think it's too important, but I just like to wonder about these things.
It's interesting how you have Kiara ponder what happens to those who aren't kings. It reminds me of something that occurs in another Lion King fanfiction I've read. Have you come across the story "When Did I Become a Parent?" by Bookworm Gal? If you haven't, I strongly suggest you do so. It's an excellent story and what actually motivated me to write my own TLK fanfic, one of the reasons being that she had a great answer for your question (or rather, Kiara's question).
I wasn't expecting Kiara to find Kopa already, if that really is him (and I'm 99% certain it is). But I'm guessing that the important part of the story is what they do after they find each other, not before. Mheetu and Chaka also have a very interesting relationship; at first I was worried because when I read your first chapter, I was afraid I had accidentally made my Kopa's-companion-character, Tumaini, too similar to Mheetu. But I'm glad to see I dodged that bullet. I am surprised that Mheetu didn't see the resemblance between Kiara and Nala, although to be fair he's been away a long time and might not have even seen his sister in her full adult form. It'll be interesting to see what happens next though.
On a note of constructive criticism, you might want to look over your phrasing sometimes. For sentences such as "Kiara returned to the cliff where her brother fell many times throughout the following days", I understand what you're trying to say, but the order in which you place the words make it sound as if Kopa was there and fell off the cliff many times, rather than Kiara went to the cliff many times. Other than that and the note I made on the previous chapter, good job, this story is becoming more and more interesting!
| Incarnate Firefly chapter 1 . 11/9/2012
This story looks very interesting so far! I'm a little perplexed at your intentionally breaking the fourth wall, but I I suppose the laughs are well worth it. In truth, it's not far off from Timon and Pumbaa's usual style of humour, and I can respect that you want to integrate a comedic element into your writing (I sometimes feel like I'm a little too serious with mine). It's also cool how you include the family tree that's seen in the Six New Adventures, and how Rafiki hid Kopa's branch to keep him a secret from Kiara.
I can tell right away that Chaka is Kopa, just from the dream. There's also the fact that Chaka was going to be Simba and Nala's son in the original script of the second film. I wonder what he's doing with Mheetu though...do either of them know of their relationship with each other? Oh well, guess I'll find out later in the book.
This is a very good chapter, but it feels just a bit rushed. You have a nice way of describing things, but if you could slow down a bit and give time to elaborate on the characters' thoughts and feelings, it could be even better. Still, this could be one of those stories you've finished and are leaving as a milestone, and it hasn't been edited in a while, so you don't have to listen to me :P
| dakota chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
i love it its a great story and kopa is awesome and that scar it still alive is cool
| Zero Unit RGB chapter 9 . 10/21/2012
Nicely done. I agree on alot of this like Kopa being thought to dead instead of actually being dead. I'm actually one of those people that does no research on the movies I watch so I only knew what the movie displayed. i learned about Kopa, Mheetu, and other book featured characters from reading fanfictions. I liked many of them such as Kopa so I was able to gather everything I knew about him and make story for him myself. If you have the time please check out my story called Tale of Two Kings. Ignore everything else because it has nothing to do with Lion King.