|Reviews for Double Edged|
| Guest chapter 32 . 3/8
I look forward to seeing what Ty does when she meets the Evil You in the water orb saga
| AlkaFeldspar-Nephrite chapter 32 . 3/7
*rushes in like a madwoman, cue cards slipping out of hands* Ha-had to get my drummer! Sorry for the del - are we live? - oh, uh... NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dunduuunDUUUUUUN*
*cricks neck* Hope I haven't gotten too rusty... okay! The phrase "that would have been the best" feels like a dangling modifier so just add a 'thing' or something and it'll be dandy. I spy a 'villein' instead of 'villain' in "to a child of a villein". The phrase "once I sheathed sword in my hands" feels incomplete, either add a 'the' or a 'held the' or whatever, depending on your intention. I think you were looking for the word 'crouched' and not 'couched' in "Couched over Ty like this". Some mild tense confusion in "The ninja had just been released from the prison I threw him in indirectly.", just switch either the past participle to straight on past tense or vice versa. The whole of the sentence "Whether it was because there is no one else as good as Eli to lead the guardians in Falconreach or if it was because Eli likes his position more than his record of honorable honesty, it's not my business to know." sounds somewhat awkward so consider rewording it. The sentence "Weird how just a couple of words could make someone feel so light or maybe they just pushed the weights off our backs." feels disjointed after the 'or' so some rewording may be needed there. I think you were going for an 'at' and not an 'and' in "I would rather have gotten back and the pirates and ninjas", a 'cannon' and not 'canon' in "I'm gonna tie you to a canon" and an 'is' and not an 'us' in "there us work to be done.". Aside from that, there're some general tense-shifting from past to present.
And that'll be all. As usual, apologies for anything missed, anything mistakenly pointed or anything intentionally done. *sighs* I feel rusty...
Ah well! I enjoyed this chapter. As far as transitional chapters go, this one did its job well, laying down some decent closure on the Wind Orb while setting up the events for the Darkness Orb. The way the characters here acted felt believable, natural, in the wake of all that's occurred and I look forward to seeing their future interactions.
Hmm... speaking of characters, the OCs you introduced for the Wind Orb arc/thing were... punchable. Beautifully punchable. Honestly, it kinda embarrasses me to admit it but I actually found Yumiko to be kinda adorable. And punchable. Adorably punchable, if you will. I wouldn't mind seeing them in the future.
In response to the Japanese thing, I had a suspicion, ever since the whole resemblance to Yumiko thing. Hmm... I'll have to see to my epileptic trees later on. Also, I never thought you died. I thought RL stuff put you into a mystical coma. I understand, though, it happens to everyone, m'self included. RL stuff is important, after all. Take your time, if you need. I can wait. Mace and other weapons in hand.
That's all for now, I'll see you all in the next update! Adios
| ILOVEYOURWORKS chapter 31 . 10/16/2014
Read my name. Read it again. Do that for eternity. But really, I LOVE YOUR WORKS! It is SO VERY VERY RARE for me to love fanfiction that include OCs. Mostly because they talk too much about said OC. But THIS. THIS WAS SO WELL-WRITTEN. I have READ EVERY FANFICTION you have made. I keep thinking about what's going to happen next the WHOLE DAY. It's just THAT GOOD. HECK! I even PRINTED 127 pages of it so that I can read them anywhere! In fact, I'm out of printer ink! But it was ALL WORTH IT. Never have I felt so much FEELINGS from reading fanfiction. AND I'm not a fan of multi-chaptered stories too. But this will be THE FIRST AND ONLY EXCEPTION. I just...LOVE IT. And the way you write Drakath! The way you write the characters! The way you write TY! Often will I go to just to check if THIS BEAUTIFUL QUALITY FANFICTION has been updated yet. I. just. love. your. works. Yes, there are some typos here and there but it doesn't matter to me. THE STORY IS PURE GOLD. I'm so glad you're in this fandom. -sob-
| Guest chapter 31 . 9/26/2014
That was amazing! Are you ever going to update it more?
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/1/2014
Thank you for continuing this since 2011
I really like it
| Kaiban chapter 31 . 4/15/2014
NOICE CHAPTAHHH! holy crap this was intense! I like how for the fight you actually emphasized how strong Sepulchure is supposed to be since in game you can beat him (i think lol i never had a dragon amulet...so yeah, finale bosses are a pain in my buttocks) which i think kind of lessened his impact as a villain in gane. I also absolutely adore how you put the transformation of the dracolich in perspective! I never thought of it as the murder of a child but...you honestly blew my mind! And the fact that you included that brilliantly heartwarming scene between Lib and Ty about family before the fight was great! It shows how close they are and actually gives the heroes dragon a more prominent and emotional role, which i think youve been doing quite well since you add enough of these scenes and scenes with both Lib and Ty acting either brash or incredibly flustered which shows how similar and tsundere they both can be lol also i like how you had that whole "prophecy is now out of effect" thing with the ship analogy (i think thats what its called lol) hahaha as you can probably tell i really like this chapter and im looking forward to reading more, especially since it seems like a lot of this is planned out, which is probably why its going so well. So yes, i look forward to more :D KEEP UP THE PHENOMENAL WORK!
| guisniperman chapter 31 . 4/14/2014
Where did the fox go? He's sulking at Ty's home.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 31 . 4/12/2014
Woo! I'm technically not late today! Yay! Everybody, it's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUUN*
*whips out glasses* I spot a 'Konnon' instead of 'Konnan' in "Konnon wasn't doing much better either.", weirdness in "Where does it look le he's he landing?" which may or may not actually be "Where does it look like he's landing?", a missing comma after the 'loud' in "Hear him speak out loud that is.", and an unnecessary 'the' in front of 'thought' in "Before we the thought of trying to stop the transformation crossed our minds". The 'Who's" should be 'Whose' in "Who's? I might never get to know.", the 'or' should be 'nor' and the 'appreciate' should be 'appreciated' in "neither Sepulchure or I appreciate his input", there should be a 'did' or something similar and the 'YOU'RE' should be 'YOUR' in "WHERE YOU'RE BRAIN RAN OFF TO?", there should be comma after the 'back' in "maybe even to find a way to bring this woman back not that she'd want to see your ugly mug ", the 'eeuhg' should prob'ly be 'eeugh' (but that might be just me), the 'edge' should be 'edges' in "I rasp desperately as my quivering hand edge towards the blurred shape.", there's something missing in "He's you know," and... well that's pretty much it. The only other note I have is that you've been switching around between past and present tense in this chapter; ya might want to look it over.
Also, Sepulchure or Sepulcher? You called him 'Sepulcher' in "Sepulcher says and the low rumble of his voice echoed in my ears.". Though both are correct, consistency's great...
Okay, that really is it. As usual, apologies for anything missed, mistaken or intentional. In the shinier corner, Lady Celestia is awesome. Not just because of what she did but also because, though she never did anything like this (onscreen, anyway) in the game, I can see her doing that without any kind of OOC-ness. It feels pretty much on par with her personality and... well, given her occupation and how Elysia turned out, I wasn't all that surprised with what she pulled off here. In the darker corner, fear and confusion. You pulled those off pretty damn well with that whole dude under the sheet and the talk with death. Seriously, the foreshadowing in this chapter is driving my WMG drives into a whole new level. Soooo... update soon-ish please?
Wind Orb Saga's done! Yaaaaay! *claps wildly*
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 30 . 3/14/2014
Breaking news! Corn is great, being allergic to roses is now a thing and Alka Feldspar seriously needs to get her alerts system checked! On other news, NITPICKING WITH ALKA starts in- actually, it already started. *dundunDUUUUUUN*
'Kay, not too sure about this one but there's an 'ugle ugle face' somewhere around here and I'm not too sure if it's intentional, something's missing (maybe a 'was' or an 'is') between 'she' and 'just' in "but she just saying what every ninja here was thinking", the apostrophe isn't really needed in "defenseless youngin's an' 'is own pirate brother fer fun.", "He was crying like a starving baby now but I remember how he had laughed like the baby that had dumped the food in a ditch with the former's dead dog" is a touch confusing so consider revising it, "The ninjas and pirates listened to Thyton's explanation but no one makes a move. " is suffering from mixed up tenses so maybe just present-tense-ify the 'listened', same case with "We locked eyes and though the point of a chipped and jagged sword was digging into the back of my neck, I keep my chin up and grit my teeth.", a 'noticed' would prob'ly work better in "I was sure he notices the sudden lack of confidence in my voice", I think the second 'be' should be a 'me' in "I wasn't sure if he'll ever be behind be for anything again", the 'sister' should be 'brother' in "No wonder I mistook him for Yumiko's sister. " ...unless Hideyoshi was hiding more than I expected of course... - eh forget that statement, continuing - the 'thought' should be 'though' in "thought she'll probably turn it into a kawaii quirk", a 'sped' seems more appropriate in "We zipped and dipped and spun as Lib speeds through the water.", an extra 'made' may be required in "The screech the thing made my bones rattle", you might want to consider changing the first 'but' in "Lib's side bumps against something hard but there was too much ink to see what it was but I had a feeling it wouldn't be a problem." and for the time being, those are all I found that can be considered mistakes, not counting the ones that felt intentional. As usual I apologize for any of the ones I've missed, any I've pointed out that weren't and any I pointed out that were intentional.
*looks up* In other news, I may or may not have a bad case of wall of text syndrome...
And at the other side of the review bridge, I spy things starting to come together, some of my suspicions getting confirmed (kinda), several things to laugh my ass off at (Yeah, I found the mental image of 'em blaster around hilarious. And yes, I am a serial killer. Warmonger even), things to make my WMG drives on overdrive and other such related contraband. That foreshadowing... yep, plenty o' good stuff here. Funnily enough, I noticed that thing about Ty being a kid in a teenager's body pretty early on in this chapter. Might be 'cause I kinda saw my brother in her tantrum-y/yell-y rant thingy. And a bit of myself, admittedly.
Either way, good work, please continue and that is all from this segment of Nitpicking with Alka! G'bye!
| Kaiban chapter 30 . 3/12/2014
Awww shucks thanks lol ive never been called a smooth talker before :P BUT i only compliment that which is worthy of complimenting haha so that credit goes to you :P now ABOUT THIS CHAPTER what a thrilling ride! I swear if that whole thing with Lib wasnt a dangerous battle itd make one hell of a roller coaster haha but i also like how you planned that letter forgery thing haha very clever for Ty to think of that :P also i like how our main heroine is not able to get away with what she did haha it makes the guardians and heroes seem like actual, competent heroes/guardians haha cause the ones in game rlly dont do much (except for your own of course) haha overall i really enjoyed this chapter and i look forward to the rest! Now to find a sneevil corpse, I'm feeling rather hungry...
| Kaiban chapter 29 . 2/18/2014
OMG IM SO LATE! BY LIKE MONTHS IM SOOOOOO SORRRRYYYY! i never got an email telling me u released this chapter! I havnt been on this site at all recently but then i wondered "what ever hapoened to double edged?" So i checked it out lol your writing is STILL amazing imo, incredibly descriptive with a good blend of humor mixed into the seriousness :P unfortunately its been so long that I've forgotten what the OCs looked like and i am ashamed! But i still thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and i hope that i can read more from you soon! Now to fix this email issue...
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 29 . 1/9/2014
*is rudely smacked by a cue card* Oh come on! I thought we were ove - ...is the mic on? *reads cue card* ...I'm late?! Darn it... *cue fanfare* Ya'll know what I'm here for. NITPICKING TIME! *dundunDUUUUN*
*stretches* 'Kay, I spy with my little eye, an 'insistantly' that should be 'insistently', a 'must had' in place of what should be a 'must have' when Tomoe's looking at Ty's eyes, and not much else than can even be considered as an error. Sweet. As usual, apologies in advance for any missed errors, things mistakenly pointed out as errors and the usual hoopla.
I spy on the other side, quite a lot to think about, plenty interesting, many amusing and some... weird. Special mention goes to Tomoe figuring out about Ty being Yumiko after realizing that he didn't get a migraine after five minutes of her talking. Excellent. Also, Yumiko... *shoots her in the head* My God, I've never been this annoyed with a character's speech since the M.I! Sweet geez...
And yeah, the chapter was confusing at times but I think it was confusing when it needed to be. T'was like that for me at least.
Update soon and seeyaz all next update. Ciao.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 28 . 8/20/2013
Guess what time it is? It's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUN*
*cricks neck* Let's do this. In "Is there a reason whys she would be hiding?", there's an extra 's' in 'why'. In "She told me that a friend of Ty and Alison got injured by the ninjas and pirates on this island and they kidnapped Ty. ", faulty parallelism there...just add a 'that' or something. "Konnan notices me caving in my addiction. " lacks a 'to' after 'caving'. And "Galeorcerda " is s'posed to be spelled as 'galeocerda'. In "others went for the railing and everyone else held to each other", either add an 'on' before that 'to' or get rid of that 'to' altogether. In "The attack on Osprey must have went successfully ", I think 'went' should be 'gone' but whatever. "If I wait there for someone to come help me and they will since I have the Orb." is kinda confusing. Rephrase? In "The eyes had blew up to twice the size they used to be", 'blew' should be 'blown'. In "I slash down on the hand that had was holding on to Drakath", 'was' should be 'been'. "I stammer, quivering in spot with my arm outstretched." is somewhat confusing. Revise? And...actually, that's about it. In advance, I apologize for anything mistaken as errors, missed errors and intentional errors.
On the brighter side of things, I quite like how Ty was portrayed here. Seemed fairly realistic and everyone else's characterizations were fairly solid. Blackberry's really made me want to shoot him in the eye with a cannon which I think may have been an intended reaction. The only problem I have with the chapter is the fact that sometimes, it gets confusing. Though that may be because its late and I haven't had the coffee yet...hehehe...
And that's all from me folks! Seeyaz all next update! Buh-bye!
| Kaiban chapter 28 . 8/19/2013
Yayyy new chap! Lol wow rlly? I was the only one whomentioned that? I thought it was a majorrr hint! Haha and as for what tomoe wants i have nooo clue...maybe to study Ty? Wild guess haha hmmmm i like this chapter haha like i like it, interesting events unfold and blackberry is over 9000 times as ugly as ever haha i honestly wince at the description of his face lol and i was waiting for someone to mention the water breathing potions! Haha tt and drakath totalllyyy forgot, or at least seem like it lol it reminded me of Drowning! :D btw, i have decided idc what you do, i will ship trakath lol unlessss you use ur amazing magical writing powers to convince me otherwise hahaha i also notice an error, but ill let aika handle that if she hasnt already :P i look forward to your next chapter! Byeeeee
| guisniperman chapter 27 . 7/31/2013
That was unexpected. Why do I feel that Blackberry will die a very gory death before we get the chance to have the fight with the Braken king? By the way, in the game I currently have the Wind, Light, Dark, Ice and Water Orb and I'm a level twenty Rogue.