|Reviews for Double Edged|
| Kaiban chapter 29 . 2/18
OMG IM SO LATE! BY LIKE MONTHS IM SOOOOOO SORRRRYYYY! i never got an email telling me u released this chapter! I havnt been on this site at all recently but then i wondered "what ever hapoened to double edged?" So i checked it out lol your writing is STILL amazing imo, incredibly descriptive with a good blend of humor mixed into the seriousness :P unfortunately its been so long that I've forgotten what the OCs looked like and i am ashamed! But i still thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and i hope that i can read more from you soon! Now to fix this email issue...
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 29 . 1/9
*is rudely smacked by a cue card* Oh come on! I thought we were ove - ...is the mic on? *reads cue card* ...I'm late?! Darn it... *cue fanfare* Ya'll know what I'm here for. NITPICKING TIME! *dundunDUUUUN*
*stretches* 'Kay, I spy with my little eye, an 'insistantly' that should be 'insistently', a 'must had' in place of what should be a 'must have' when Tomoe's looking at Ty's eyes, and not much else than can even be considered as an error. Sweet. As usual, apologies in advance for any missed errors, things mistakenly pointed out as errors and the usual hoopla.
I spy on the other side, quite a lot to think about, plenty interesting, many amusing and some... weird. Special mention goes to Tomoe figuring out about Ty being Yumiko after realizing that he didn't get a migraine after five minutes of her talking. Excellent. Also, Yumiko... *shoots her in the head* My God, I've never been this annoyed with a character's speech since the M.I! Sweet geez...
And yeah, the chapter was confusing at times but I think it was confusing when it needed to be. T'was like that for me at least.
Update soon and seeyaz all next update. Ciao.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 28 . 8/20/2013
Guess what time it is? It's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUN*
*cricks neck* Let's do this. In "Is there a reason whys she would be hiding?", there's an extra 's' in 'why'. In "She told me that a friend of Ty and Alison got injured by the ninjas and pirates on this island and they kidnapped Ty. ", faulty parallelism there...just add a 'that' or something. "Konnan notices me caving in my addiction. " lacks a 'to' after 'caving'. And "Galeorcerda " is s'posed to be spelled as 'galeocerda'. In "others went for the railing and everyone else held to each other", either add an 'on' before that 'to' or get rid of that 'to' altogether. In "The attack on Osprey must have went successfully ", I think 'went' should be 'gone' but whatever. "If I wait there for someone to come help me and they will since I have the Orb." is kinda confusing. Rephrase? In "The eyes had blew up to twice the size they used to be", 'blew' should be 'blown'. In "I slash down on the hand that had was holding on to Drakath", 'was' should be 'been'. "I stammer, quivering in spot with my arm outstretched." is somewhat confusing. Revise? And...actually, that's about it. In advance, I apologize for anything mistaken as errors, missed errors and intentional errors.
On the brighter side of things, I quite like how Ty was portrayed here. Seemed fairly realistic and everyone else's characterizations were fairly solid. Blackberry's really made me want to shoot him in the eye with a cannon which I think may have been an intended reaction. The only problem I have with the chapter is the fact that sometimes, it gets confusing. Though that may be because its late and I haven't had the coffee yet...hehehe...
And that's all from me folks! Seeyaz all next update! Buh-bye!
| Kaiban chapter 28 . 8/19/2013
Yayyy new chap! Lol wow rlly? I was the only one whomentioned that? I thought it was a majorrr hint! Haha and as for what tomoe wants i have nooo clue...maybe to study Ty? Wild guess haha hmmmm i like this chapter haha like i like it, interesting events unfold and blackberry is over 9000 times as ugly as ever haha i honestly wince at the description of his face lol and i was waiting for someone to mention the water breathing potions! Haha tt and drakath totalllyyy forgot, or at least seem like it lol it reminded me of Drowning! :D btw, i have decided idc what you do, i will ship trakath lol unlessss you use ur amazing magical writing powers to convince me otherwise hahaha i also notice an error, but ill let aika handle that if she hasnt already :P i look forward to your next chapter! Byeeeee
| guisniperman chapter 27 . 7/31/2013
That was unexpected. Why do I feel that Blackberry will die a very gory death before we get the chance to have the fight with the Braken king? By the way, in the game I currently have the Wind, Light, Dark, Ice and Water Orb and I'm a level twenty Rogue.
| Kaiban chapter 27 . 7/30/2013
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i lobe your writing, did you know that? Lol but anyway i geel like eric is the boy in his story lol idk why, its just a hunch :P i also am curious as to who Virelai (probably spelt that wrong) is. Hahahaha Drakath is soooooooo jealous it makes me smile :D and woahhh she's married? Honest shocker for me lol and pooooor Blackbeard...thats his name right? He misinterpreted an elementary school type crush for hate, and wow i cant believe Ty hasnt noticed! Well i mean if your married you deff wouldnt (shouldnt) be lookin at other ppl in that sense but still! Haha poor Drakath, nothing ever goes his way :P now i wonder who his true nemesis is...the world may never know...at least till mid august haha and i still cant wait for your little AU thing, even if its still being planned only im excited for it haha and hmmmmm i still ship Trakath, but Tythan and VireTy might be interesting too...i cant wait to find out more! Lol and i feel like eric's power could be useful lol but now that i remember his power the boy in his story might not be him...maybe another family member? Or even their father? Or a friend? Or a different character? Or the protagonist of your Tiger/Dragon story (this one i think is highly possible lol) Or maybe it really is him? Oh, so many possibilities it could be overwhelming haha wellll i await your next chapter in everything you write! Also, did i favorite this yet? If i didnt i apologize, but if i did, ima do it again just in case lol have fun on vacation!
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 27 . 7/30/2013
News just in, Waldo is still MIA and the last searcher still has no leads on his whereabouts. And on other news, it's time to NITPICK WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUN*
Okay, hunting time. I'm not completely sure about this one but in "I found what he was doing hilarious and begin to laugh much to his dismay", the tenses conflict so maybe just change the tenses on either 'found' or 'begin', just saying. In "I toss lib a paper bag", you may want to capitalize the 'l' in 'Lib'. In "He caught me looking so I smile at him", it's another case of conflicting tenses. I'm not too sure (too late for me to do the OCD check-all-my-textbooks-thing) but it sounds kind of awkward so you may want to change it. In "he was sort of an immature dickho le. Then again, in the words of my brother, near all of the Dii Consentes were immature dickoles", the first 'dickhole' has an unnecessary space between 'o' and 'le'...unless there's some sort of class called 'dickho le' which I doubt...and in the second, you spelt 'dickhole' as 'dickole'. "Lib had been about to burn Drakath's face off but now he was ready to do that anyway. " ...this is kinda confusing. Y'may wanna rephrase that. "We all were caught in a tornado or whirlwind taking us to who knows where." seems a bit run-on sentence ish. Or just plain confusing. Rephrase? In "Lib yells over the wind and I discovered that it was somehow possible for Drakath to scream even louder than he already was.", again conflicting tenses. And more conflicting tenses with "I sneer and the wind was picking up". In "all weapons were pointed at their captain-soon-to-be-asshole-ungrateful-sea-god-dick . ", extra space between the period and ol' Blackberry's new name. In "The scrolls said-"Before he could finish his sentence", missing space between before and the quotation mark. And, for now, that was all I could find. As usual, I apologize for any missed errors, things mistakenly pointed out as errors and any damage Waldo may have done when I was chasing him last chapter.
And in the positive corner, humor. You made me laugh hysterically for five minutes, in the middle of the night, just by writing the innuendo filled tag-team between Ty and Drakath. Well done. *sheds tear of laughter* Also, the 'fight' between Liberta and Drakath was freaking priceless. Honestly, why is he (almost) likable here? I normally like punching him in the eggs...ah, fanfics are weird like that. On the more serious side of positive corner, I like how you made the fake but somehow real fight. Made the fake-ish-ness subtle but noticeable while maintaining an amount of tension. Though, admittedly, Drakath having trouble with the Wind Orb had me laughing again. The deviations from canon are all believable and I'm honestly looking forward to seeing how things turn out. In short, good job, don't be gone long or else I'll-nah. Kidding. It would be hypocritical if I said it, after all...hehehe.
And yep, hehehe...changed the last name. M'not doing the M.C biz after all and I'm welcome to the Feldspar family...nah, just wanted to coordinate a DevArt account with this one. And...seriously? Tomoe's lines, or at least a big chunk of it, relates to that anime? Gosh, why do I only get it when head jokes are involved...ooh, chocolate! Thanks! I knew this job had perks...
And that's all for tonight folks! Seeyaz all next update! Adios!
| guisniperman chapter 26 . 7/17/2013
That was epic. Sorry I missed last chapter. I know what will be Ty's favorite part of this adventure: the Dark Orb Saga! With all those undead and whanot.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 26 . 7/16/2013
It's time for...WHERE'S WALDO! And also NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUUN*
Eh, as usual, I'm not flaming. Not that I have a reason to flame. There's an extra space between 'features' and 'flawless' in the sentence where Serenity asks if he knew Ty. In "Sea monster swarm the eight seas of Lore", 'monster' should be plural. In "I not be letting all o Osprey sink to davey jone's locker ", 'davey jone's' would be better off capitalized but that's still your choice. In "The pirate, haven suddenly regained life", 'haven' should be 'having'. In ""Who are you!"", maybe just add a question mark. And that's all I could find for now...minus a few that are still pretty acceptably correct. As usual, I apologize for missed errors, intentional stuff and wrong information, if it exists...wow, I sounded sorta egotistical there...
And now on to the other side of the bridge...the naval battle was fine, pretty well done. You certainly showed off both Alison's power and her ah...ego, I guess? *brain is going faulty, needs more sleep* Eric's ability...empathy perhaps? Might be useful though if you say it might not be that useful...also, Ty's dream leaves quite a bit of mystery, the mood whiplash-ing from cheery-ish to...I don't even know to describe it. Bravo. Chiffon the pirate seems like a nice enough guy (though when I first read the name, I seriously thought you were referring to the cloth and not the cake)...then Tomoe came in and just...well he's unobtrusive sonovatog, that's all that I can say about his character...aside from the fact that I'd like someone to smash him in the jewels...is the 'not losing your head' a reference to a certain anime, by any chance?
*reads author's notes more* And don't worry, if I ever did find a million, I'd point them out faster than you could say 'no flame!'. Yes, they could sell the sea monster parts to random strangers and 'not underestimating opponents' is indeed in a villain's manual somewhere. And you would like to give...eh, chocolate would be appreciated. Virtual, imaginary chocolate.
And that's all for today folks! See ya all next update!
| Kaiban chapter 26 . 7/15/2013
NEW CHAPPP! YUSHHHHHHH lol GOOD GOD ALLSON IS CRAZY! Nice battle tho! It kept me intrigued the whole time and it was paced well haha my fav part was the end when rhubarb pins her down and tells here they have more ships haha i thought that was dope hehe and aw for Beathan, didnt Alison say he was Ty's first something? Hm possibly the first person she killed with her power? Or first lover? Possibilities are endless haha and as for Eric and Blair seeing Drakath before (or his father, since he looked familiar) i would like to see how that unfolds haha unless im forgetting ty mentioning him to them, then ill look stupid haha buuuuuuut his power seemed like mind reading at first but u said its not all that useful... Hmm i wanna see his power too lol i look forward to your AUs and other stories concerning your OCs! Also im flattered you want me as a beta for the story but i must decline, im too busy to even finish my own story lol your AU wouldnt even see the light of day :P sowwyyy ask aika! She would prob do a better job than me! Thanks again and im lookin forward to the next chapter!
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 25 . 7/1/2013
And once again, it's time to...play spot the errors! Also known as NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUUN*
M'kay, I see nothing worthy of a flaming rant, as per usual, but I spotted more than one errors. Nothing big. You used the word 'brunette' to describe the boy who fell from the tree, common mistake; 'brunette' actually refers to girls, the correct word would be 'brunet'. In "How would the villagers react to me, the supposed disappeared brother, if he came to town not grown or changed at all.", a question mark would be better than a period in closing the sentence. In "A fish swam into my net and I untangled it from the weaved rope", 'woven' would actually work a bit better but it's up to you if you want to play switch-y. In "My legs ached and I felt my bone fracturing themselves ", I think 'bones' would be more appropriate because of the use of the word 'themselves'. In "But I can do it! I'll make it and b ba k n ti…"...well, I can't decipher it (haven't had the coffee yet) and I'm not sure if this was unintended but I'll point it out, just to be sure. In "If they wanted to get to safer more leveler battlegrounds, ", double positive. More and 'leveler' just sound wrong...and maybe put those two words between two commas. And, for now, those are all I can find and sorry for any missed errors or if I pointed out something that was intended.
And at the delightfully twisted side of the spectrum, Alison's back story is just...holy mama, is it something. 'Course I'm not sure if she's telling the whole truth but even if she's not, she sure knows how to tell one fantastic lie. Things are going nuts and I do mean NUTS! Like macadamia nuts. And honestly, I was slightly suspicious about Tomoe ever since his whole exposition thing with Hideyoshi but I seriously didn't expect this to happen. You seriously had me fooled and only now do I realize just how suspicious everything was. Bravo. *applauds you*
*grabs popcorn* And that's all from me today! Seeya next update! *eagerly awaits next update*
| Kaiban chapter 25 . 6/29/2013
Short is better than nothing! Haha so if Alison is an ancient shapeshifting blob from the beginning of time in her universe (i feel like all of Tys family is from different universes), i guess one can make the assumption that Ty is a different "monster," since Alison said Ash had to ask her for her story personally and since their powers are different lol it makes me excited to see how all of their back stories unfold :D and poor Ash! Lol i like how Alison can just use him like that but i feel like she enjoyed that kiss as well? Hmmmm i probably just think that cause i feel like Ash Alison and then that disembodied light proncess thing would make a good love triangle (NOT A SUGGESTION, JUST PERSONAL IMPUT...BUT IF YOH WANT... :D) haha i kid i kid, and now you make me wanna know what happens to Trakath at the end of book one! Idk y i feel like Ty is gonna think they cant be together and leave him...or do something much worse lol I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR AU AND NEXT CHAPTER! WELCOME BACK TO ! lol :P
| Kaiban chapter 24 . 4/18/2013
HAPPY EASTER! NEW CHAPTER WHOOOO! haha my God Ty and Allison are evil! I enjoy it so much haha oh! So Yumiko was Tomoe's sister? Makes sense why hideyoshi or whatever was all up on her at the hospital then lol i was deffinately catching some wrong vibes at what she was in that group of friends haha and awwwwwwwwww trakath moment! And hes knocked out on her lap! I like this haha and that unintentional kiss was great! As for who id side with its obviously the pirates lol ninjas and heroes are cool and all, but pirates r where its at hahaha as for the writing in this chapter, its really well done save for the few typos here and there haha thats understandable tho, but Aika is probably gonna get them so its okay :P also i wonder what Tomoes planning and same with Ty Allison and Blaire lol also! I wonder what Tys reaction to Drakaths little betrayal event at the end of the 1st book will be haha something i look forward too. Btw, are u gonna do all the books or just this one? Thanks for the chapter again and hope u have a nice day!
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 24 . 4/16/2013
*taps out beats with pen* ...okay so the drummer ran off and this stupid contract states that-*gets hit by a cue card*...whoa, camera's on already?! Er...it's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUN*
Okay, as usual, I see nothing flame-worthy and see only minor typos and the like. You spelled 'stitches' as 'stiches' in "seeing that and notice that he had four stiches in his cheek". In '. "We'll be giving the pirates warning shots soon to demand your "release."', you might want to close off "release". You closed off the sentence without fully closing it in...and, for now, those are all I can find. Good job there, certainly made up for my wild hunt last time (you updated just after I had my coffee there...).
On the other hand, this chapter was very interesting overall. Yumiko...wow, Hideyoshi suddenly seems less...I don't even know...I like your version of the confrontation with Drakath, pretty interesting and all that as well as fully setting off my shipping senses...not that I mind the pairing (minor miracle in itself as I rarely ever ship anyone). Me excited for next update? Yeeees. Stuff's gonna go nuts...and darn it all, I'm seriously excited.
That's all for now folks! See yas'all next update for the next segment of 'Nitpicking with Alka!'. Bye-bye!
| Narwhale chapter 9 . 4/7/2013
Wow... I was really interested in your story, but I didn't think you were going to make it THAT interesting after reading your notes...
I'm not saying that I hate yaoi, yuri, or other stuff of that nature, but I am a bit uncomfortable reading that kind of stuff. I am glad you gave that warning, though, and I began to see why Ty seemed kind of like an 'L' noun (if you don't know it, its best if you didn't)...
It doesn't mean I hate your story, it's just that my perspective has shifted a little bit to the more skeptical side, now. I'M SO SORRY! but that's just my opinion. I will still read and review, but I am looking at this with a different mindset, now.
Other than that, your writing is still the same as it has been with the previous chapters. There's not really much I can say about it.