|Reviews for Double Edged|
| Kaiban chapter 31 . 4/15
NOICE CHAPTAHHH! holy crap this was intense! I like how for the fight you actually emphasized how strong Sepulchure is supposed to be since in game you can beat him (i think lol i never had a dragon amulet...so yeah, finale bosses are a pain in my buttocks) which i think kind of lessened his impact as a villain in gane. I also absolutely adore how you put the transformation of the dracolich in perspective! I never thought of it as the murder of a child but...you honestly blew my mind! And the fact that you included that brilliantly heartwarming scene between Lib and Ty about family before the fight was great! It shows how close they are and actually gives the heroes dragon a more prominent and emotional role, which i think youve been doing quite well since you add enough of these scenes and scenes with both Lib and Ty acting either brash or incredibly flustered which shows how similar and tsundere they both can be lol also i like how you had that whole "prophecy is now out of effect" thing with the ship analogy (i think thats what its called lol) hahaha as you can probably tell i really like this chapter and im looking forward to reading more, especially since it seems like a lot of this is planned out, which is probably why its going so well. So yes, i look forward to more :D KEEP UP THE PHENOMENAL WORK!
| guisniperman chapter 31 . 4/14
Where did the fox go? He's sulking at Ty's home.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 31 . 4/12
Woo! I'm technically not late today! Yay! Everybody, it's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUUN*
*whips out glasses* I spot a 'Konnon' instead of 'Konnan' in "Konnon wasn't doing much better either.", weirdness in "Where does it look le he's he landing?" which may or may not actually be "Where does it look like he's landing?", a missing comma after the 'loud' in "Hear him speak out loud that is.", and an unnecessary 'the' in front of 'thought' in "Before we the thought of trying to stop the transformation crossed our minds". The 'Who's" should be 'Whose' in "Who's? I might never get to know.", the 'or' should be 'nor' and the 'appreciate' should be 'appreciated' in "neither Sepulchure or I appreciate his input", there should be a 'did' or something similar and the 'YOU'RE' should be 'YOUR' in "WHERE YOU'RE BRAIN RAN OFF TO?", there should be comma after the 'back' in "maybe even to find a way to bring this woman back not that she'd want to see your ugly mug ", the 'eeuhg' should prob'ly be 'eeugh' (but that might be just me), the 'edge' should be 'edges' in "I rasp desperately as my quivering hand edge towards the blurred shape.", there's something missing in "He's you know," and... well that's pretty much it. The only other note I have is that you've been switching around between past and present tense in this chapter; ya might want to look it over.
Also, Sepulchure or Sepulcher? You called him 'Sepulcher' in "Sepulcher says and the low rumble of his voice echoed in my ears.". Though both are correct, consistency's great...
Okay, that really is it. As usual, apologies for anything missed, mistaken or intentional. In the shinier corner, Lady Celestia is awesome. Not just because of what she did but also because, though she never did anything like this (onscreen, anyway) in the game, I can see her doing that without any kind of OOC-ness. It feels pretty much on par with her personality and... well, given her occupation and how Elysia turned out, I wasn't all that surprised with what she pulled off here. In the darker corner, fear and confusion. You pulled those off pretty damn well with that whole dude under the sheet and the talk with death. Seriously, the foreshadowing in this chapter is driving my WMG drives into a whole new level. Soooo... update soon-ish please?
Wind Orb Saga's done! Yaaaaay! *claps wildly*
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 30 . 3/14
Breaking news! Corn is great, being allergic to roses is now a thing and Alka Feldspar seriously needs to get her alerts system checked! On other news, NITPICKING WITH ALKA starts in- actually, it already started. *dundunDUUUUUUN*
'Kay, not too sure about this one but there's an 'ugle ugle face' somewhere around here and I'm not too sure if it's intentional, something's missing (maybe a 'was' or an 'is') between 'she' and 'just' in "but she just saying what every ninja here was thinking", the apostrophe isn't really needed in "defenseless youngin's an' 'is own pirate brother fer fun.", "He was crying like a starving baby now but I remember how he had laughed like the baby that had dumped the food in a ditch with the former's dead dog" is a touch confusing so consider revising it, "The ninjas and pirates listened to Thyton's explanation but no one makes a move. " is suffering from mixed up tenses so maybe just present-tense-ify the 'listened', same case with "We locked eyes and though the point of a chipped and jagged sword was digging into the back of my neck, I keep my chin up and grit my teeth.", a 'noticed' would prob'ly work better in "I was sure he notices the sudden lack of confidence in my voice", I think the second 'be' should be a 'me' in "I wasn't sure if he'll ever be behind be for anything again", the 'sister' should be 'brother' in "No wonder I mistook him for Yumiko's sister. " ...unless Hideyoshi was hiding more than I expected of course... - eh forget that statement, continuing - the 'thought' should be 'though' in "thought she'll probably turn it into a kawaii quirk", a 'sped' seems more appropriate in "We zipped and dipped and spun as Lib speeds through the water.", an extra 'made' may be required in "The screech the thing made my bones rattle", you might want to consider changing the first 'but' in "Lib's side bumps against something hard but there was too much ink to see what it was but I had a feeling it wouldn't be a problem." and for the time being, those are all I found that can be considered mistakes, not counting the ones that felt intentional. As usual I apologize for any of the ones I've missed, any I've pointed out that weren't and any I pointed out that were intentional.
*looks up* In other news, I may or may not have a bad case of wall of text syndrome...
And at the other side of the review bridge, I spy things starting to come together, some of my suspicions getting confirmed (kinda), several things to laugh my ass off at (Yeah, I found the mental image of 'em blaster around hilarious. And yes, I am a serial killer. Warmonger even), things to make my WMG drives on overdrive and other such related contraband. That foreshadowing... yep, plenty o' good stuff here. Funnily enough, I noticed that thing about Ty being a kid in a teenager's body pretty early on in this chapter. Might be 'cause I kinda saw my brother in her tantrum-y/yell-y rant thingy. And a bit of myself, admittedly.
Either way, good work, please continue and that is all from this segment of Nitpicking with Alka! G'bye!
| Kaiban chapter 30 . 3/12
Awww shucks thanks lol ive never been called a smooth talker before :P BUT i only compliment that which is worthy of complimenting haha so that credit goes to you :P now ABOUT THIS CHAPTER what a thrilling ride! I swear if that whole thing with Lib wasnt a dangerous battle itd make one hell of a roller coaster haha but i also like how you planned that letter forgery thing haha very clever for Ty to think of that :P also i like how our main heroine is not able to get away with what she did haha it makes the guardians and heroes seem like actual, competent heroes/guardians haha cause the ones in game rlly dont do much (except for your own of course) haha overall i really enjoyed this chapter and i look forward to the rest! Now to find a sneevil corpse, I'm feeling rather hungry...
| Kaiban chapter 29 . 2/18
OMG IM SO LATE! BY LIKE MONTHS IM SOOOOOO SORRRRYYYY! i never got an email telling me u released this chapter! I havnt been on this site at all recently but then i wondered "what ever hapoened to double edged?" So i checked it out lol your writing is STILL amazing imo, incredibly descriptive with a good blend of humor mixed into the seriousness :P unfortunately its been so long that I've forgotten what the OCs looked like and i am ashamed! But i still thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and i hope that i can read more from you soon! Now to fix this email issue...
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 29 . 1/9
*is rudely smacked by a cue card* Oh come on! I thought we were ove - ...is the mic on? *reads cue card* ...I'm late?! Darn it... *cue fanfare* Ya'll know what I'm here for. NITPICKING TIME! *dundunDUUUUN*
*stretches* 'Kay, I spy with my little eye, an 'insistantly' that should be 'insistently', a 'must had' in place of what should be a 'must have' when Tomoe's looking at Ty's eyes, and not much else than can even be considered as an error. Sweet. As usual, apologies in advance for any missed errors, things mistakenly pointed out as errors and the usual hoopla.
I spy on the other side, quite a lot to think about, plenty interesting, many amusing and some... weird. Special mention goes to Tomoe figuring out about Ty being Yumiko after realizing that he didn't get a migraine after five minutes of her talking. Excellent. Also, Yumiko... *shoots her in the head* My God, I've never been this annoyed with a character's speech since the M.I! Sweet geez...
And yeah, the chapter was confusing at times but I think it was confusing when it needed to be. T'was like that for me at least.
Update soon and seeyaz all next update. Ciao.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 28 . 8/20/2013
Guess what time it is? It's time for NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUN*
*cricks neck* Let's do this. In "Is there a reason whys she would be hiding?", there's an extra 's' in 'why'. In "She told me that a friend of Ty and Alison got injured by the ninjas and pirates on this island and they kidnapped Ty. ", faulty parallelism there...just add a 'that' or something. "Konnan notices me caving in my addiction. " lacks a 'to' after 'caving'. And "Galeorcerda " is s'posed to be spelled as 'galeocerda'. In "others went for the railing and everyone else held to each other", either add an 'on' before that 'to' or get rid of that 'to' altogether. In "The attack on Osprey must have went successfully ", I think 'went' should be 'gone' but whatever. "If I wait there for someone to come help me and they will since I have the Orb." is kinda confusing. Rephrase? In "The eyes had blew up to twice the size they used to be", 'blew' should be 'blown'. In "I slash down on the hand that had was holding on to Drakath", 'was' should be 'been'. "I stammer, quivering in spot with my arm outstretched." is somewhat confusing. Revise? And...actually, that's about it. In advance, I apologize for anything mistaken as errors, missed errors and intentional errors.
On the brighter side of things, I quite like how Ty was portrayed here. Seemed fairly realistic and everyone else's characterizations were fairly solid. Blackberry's really made me want to shoot him in the eye with a cannon which I think may have been an intended reaction. The only problem I have with the chapter is the fact that sometimes, it gets confusing. Though that may be because its late and I haven't had the coffee yet...hehehe...
And that's all from me folks! Seeyaz all next update! Buh-bye!
| Kaiban chapter 28 . 8/19/2013
Yayyy new chap! Lol wow rlly? I was the only one whomentioned that? I thought it was a majorrr hint! Haha and as for what tomoe wants i have nooo clue...maybe to study Ty? Wild guess haha hmmmm i like this chapter haha like i like it, interesting events unfold and blackberry is over 9000 times as ugly as ever haha i honestly wince at the description of his face lol and i was waiting for someone to mention the water breathing potions! Haha tt and drakath totalllyyy forgot, or at least seem like it lol it reminded me of Drowning! :D btw, i have decided idc what you do, i will ship trakath lol unlessss you use ur amazing magical writing powers to convince me otherwise hahaha i also notice an error, but ill let aika handle that if she hasnt already :P i look forward to your next chapter! Byeeeee
| guisniperman chapter 27 . 7/31/2013
That was unexpected. Why do I feel that Blackberry will die a very gory death before we get the chance to have the fight with the Braken king? By the way, in the game I currently have the Wind, Light, Dark, Ice and Water Orb and I'm a level twenty Rogue.
| Kaiban chapter 27 . 7/30/2013
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i lobe your writing, did you know that? Lol but anyway i geel like eric is the boy in his story lol idk why, its just a hunch :P i also am curious as to who Virelai (probably spelt that wrong) is. Hahahaha Drakath is soooooooo jealous it makes me smile :D and woahhh she's married? Honest shocker for me lol and pooooor Blackbeard...thats his name right? He misinterpreted an elementary school type crush for hate, and wow i cant believe Ty hasnt noticed! Well i mean if your married you deff wouldnt (shouldnt) be lookin at other ppl in that sense but still! Haha poor Drakath, nothing ever goes his way :P now i wonder who his true nemesis is...the world may never know...at least till mid august haha and i still cant wait for your little AU thing, even if its still being planned only im excited for it haha and hmmmmm i still ship Trakath, but Tythan and VireTy might be interesting too...i cant wait to find out more! Lol and i feel like eric's power could be useful lol but now that i remember his power the boy in his story might not be him...maybe another family member? Or even their father? Or a friend? Or a different character? Or the protagonist of your Tiger/Dragon story (this one i think is highly possible lol) Or maybe it really is him? Oh, so many possibilities it could be overwhelming haha wellll i await your next chapter in everything you write! Also, did i favorite this yet? If i didnt i apologize, but if i did, ima do it again just in case lol have fun on vacation!
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 27 . 7/30/2013
News just in, Waldo is still MIA and the last searcher still has no leads on his whereabouts. And on other news, it's time to NITPICK WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUN*
Okay, hunting time. I'm not completely sure about this one but in "I found what he was doing hilarious and begin to laugh much to his dismay", the tenses conflict so maybe just change the tenses on either 'found' or 'begin', just saying. In "I toss lib a paper bag", you may want to capitalize the 'l' in 'Lib'. In "He caught me looking so I smile at him", it's another case of conflicting tenses. I'm not too sure (too late for me to do the OCD check-all-my-textbooks-thing) but it sounds kind of awkward so you may want to change it. In "he was sort of an immature dickho le. Then again, in the words of my brother, near all of the Dii Consentes were immature dickoles", the first 'dickhole' has an unnecessary space between 'o' and 'le'...unless there's some sort of class called 'dickho le' which I doubt...and in the second, you spelt 'dickhole' as 'dickole'. "Lib had been about to burn Drakath's face off but now he was ready to do that anyway. " ...this is kinda confusing. Y'may wanna rephrase that. "We all were caught in a tornado or whirlwind taking us to who knows where." seems a bit run-on sentence ish. Or just plain confusing. Rephrase? In "Lib yells over the wind and I discovered that it was somehow possible for Drakath to scream even louder than he already was.", again conflicting tenses. And more conflicting tenses with "I sneer and the wind was picking up". In "all weapons were pointed at their captain-soon-to-be-asshole-ungrateful-sea-god-dick . ", extra space between the period and ol' Blackberry's new name. In "The scrolls said-"Before he could finish his sentence", missing space between before and the quotation mark. And, for now, that was all I could find. As usual, I apologize for any missed errors, things mistakenly pointed out as errors and any damage Waldo may have done when I was chasing him last chapter.
And in the positive corner, humor. You made me laugh hysterically for five minutes, in the middle of the night, just by writing the innuendo filled tag-team between Ty and Drakath. Well done. *sheds tear of laughter* Also, the 'fight' between Liberta and Drakath was freaking priceless. Honestly, why is he (almost) likable here? I normally like punching him in the eggs...ah, fanfics are weird like that. On the more serious side of positive corner, I like how you made the fake but somehow real fight. Made the fake-ish-ness subtle but noticeable while maintaining an amount of tension. Though, admittedly, Drakath having trouble with the Wind Orb had me laughing again. The deviations from canon are all believable and I'm honestly looking forward to seeing how things turn out. In short, good job, don't be gone long or else I'll-nah. Kidding. It would be hypocritical if I said it, after all...hehehe.
And yep, hehehe...changed the last name. M'not doing the M.C biz after all and I'm welcome to the Feldspar family...nah, just wanted to coordinate a DevArt account with this one. And...seriously? Tomoe's lines, or at least a big chunk of it, relates to that anime? Gosh, why do I only get it when head jokes are involved...ooh, chocolate! Thanks! I knew this job had perks...
And that's all for tonight folks! Seeyaz all next update! Adios!
| guisniperman chapter 26 . 7/17/2013
That was epic. Sorry I missed last chapter. I know what will be Ty's favorite part of this adventure: the Dark Orb Saga! With all those undead and whanot.
| AlkaFeldspar chapter 26 . 7/16/2013
It's time for...WHERE'S WALDO! And also NITPICKING WITH ALKA! *dundunDUUUUUUN*
Eh, as usual, I'm not flaming. Not that I have a reason to flame. There's an extra space between 'features' and 'flawless' in the sentence where Serenity asks if he knew Ty. In "Sea monster swarm the eight seas of Lore", 'monster' should be plural. In "I not be letting all o Osprey sink to davey jone's locker ", 'davey jone's' would be better off capitalized but that's still your choice. In "The pirate, haven suddenly regained life", 'haven' should be 'having'. In ""Who are you!"", maybe just add a question mark. And that's all I could find for now...minus a few that are still pretty acceptably correct. As usual, I apologize for missed errors, intentional stuff and wrong information, if it exists...wow, I sounded sorta egotistical there...
And now on to the other side of the bridge...the naval battle was fine, pretty well done. You certainly showed off both Alison's power and her ah...ego, I guess? *brain is going faulty, needs more sleep* Eric's ability...empathy perhaps? Might be useful though if you say it might not be that useful...also, Ty's dream leaves quite a bit of mystery, the mood whiplash-ing from cheery-ish to...I don't even know to describe it. Bravo. Chiffon the pirate seems like a nice enough guy (though when I first read the name, I seriously thought you were referring to the cloth and not the cake)...then Tomoe came in and just...well he's unobtrusive sonovatog, that's all that I can say about his character...aside from the fact that I'd like someone to smash him in the jewels...is the 'not losing your head' a reference to a certain anime, by any chance?
*reads author's notes more* And don't worry, if I ever did find a million, I'd point them out faster than you could say 'no flame!'. Yes, they could sell the sea monster parts to random strangers and 'not underestimating opponents' is indeed in a villain's manual somewhere. And you would like to give...eh, chocolate would be appreciated. Virtual, imaginary chocolate.
And that's all for today folks! See ya all next update!
| Kaiban chapter 26 . 7/15/2013
NEW CHAPPP! YUSHHHHHHH lol GOOD GOD ALLSON IS CRAZY! Nice battle tho! It kept me intrigued the whole time and it was paced well haha my fav part was the end when rhubarb pins her down and tells here they have more ships haha i thought that was dope hehe and aw for Beathan, didnt Alison say he was Ty's first something? Hm possibly the first person she killed with her power? Or first lover? Possibilities are endless haha and as for Eric and Blair seeing Drakath before (or his father, since he looked familiar) i would like to see how that unfolds haha unless im forgetting ty mentioning him to them, then ill look stupid haha buuuuuuut his power seemed like mind reading at first but u said its not all that useful... Hmm i wanna see his power too lol i look forward to your AUs and other stories concerning your OCs! Also im flattered you want me as a beta for the story but i must decline, im too busy to even finish my own story lol your AU wouldnt even see the light of day :P sowwyyy ask aika! She would prob do a better job than me! Thanks again and im lookin forward to the next chapter!