good job i like this story alot

The bad grammar is annoying and unnecessary. You should be able to convey abuse using descriptive language and thought processes and not rely on a crutch. Also I don't see how deleting pronouns and using improper tenses would convey an abused mental state. It just makes him sound like he's stupid.

Your Worshipfulness

It was Brillant !

awww this is sad bu realistic it mackes me want to cry

cool story

Good story, but even though you explained about the grammar in Harry's part, I can't keep on reading. It's just too annoying. I would understand if they were direct thoughts of Harry, but it is indirect and frankly, gives me a headache. So sorry, I won't be able to read the chapters 4 to 30. Pity, since it seemed like a promising story.

You still have the name Ian for Portia husband, is it supposed to be John

i love this story even tho parts of it makes me cry

This is a really excelete story, thank you for writing it. I usually read recoverey stories where Harry's a teen but it was nice to read a younge one for a change :D thank you, you made my saturday

Awesome story. :)

You're doing great, keep it up. The Harry view point is very well written. Don't let anyone give you crap about it

I love the story so far. I loved your other one as well (just finished it). Great work! :)

This was a wonderful story. You have a talent for writing. I hope to read more of your work.

loveeeeeeeeeeeeee it! i would love a sequel! you should put the sequel up for adoption im sure one of your readers would love to continue it! i wonder what house he would be in i think the house of the snakes but thats just cuse thats my fav house XD

You make my heart break. ; ;