|Reviews for Word Association|
| Verda Napoli chapter 1 . 9/20/2011
Thanks for the dedication and your kind words. I appreciate all of your ideas and also your support of my work! I'm glad I can be of some assistance to you.
First things first, when writing about prison it's really important to not trivialize the experience. I feel the desperation rolling off of Juice. (he can't eat unless he's starving or sleep unless he's exhausted) Jail really is a place that gives a man a lot of time to think. Juice's mind is on overdrive and my heart breaks for him (and Milla). Love the little comic relief in the form of 'he wasn't like Tig'. That's got to be awkward..rubbing one out in front of your father in law.
Nice transition from Juice thinking about how the club gave him two different sets of family to him needing to put his emotions in check in Belfast. Clay was very much responsible (although Juice earned his patch and Milla's love)for that family as Milla's father and a founding member of the club. Juice is in a tough spot because he can't reconcile Clay Milla's dad with Clay the Prez of the mother charter. Juice's feelings are starting to make me scared. The club comes before everything-family, friends, children, etc. The minute he starts thinking that Milla and Espy are more important than SAMCRO is when things become dangerous. (and is precisely the reason that Jax needs to get the hell out)
McGee-I don't feel bad for Clay as a general rule. Clay is ruthless at times and doesn't always make decisions that benefit the club and his family as a whole. I feel like a lot of what happens to him and those around him is karma curb stomping his ass. But McGee, I felt. RP really needs some recognition. Even though he was stone faced, I felt the anguish roll off of him as he pushed McGee off of that roof. Afterwards, I could see the sadness and the utter despair as he told Gemma 'Time don't mean shit'. Juice has thrown a wall up and he's in a mode where he must protect his girls. It's really sort of necessary since Clay has gone from determined man to hungry, greedy monster who rules like a tyrant not a president. You've shown this, creating an undercurrent of tension that was only diffused when Juice was finally with Milla.
The true star of this piece is Juice's war with himself as 1%er and father. He's sort of projecting his fears of not being able to care for his girls properly onto Clay. But at the same time, he has every reason to feel as he does.
Very impressive! I hope your writer's block subsides. As much as it breaks my heart, Brath is ridiculously good and I can't wait to read more!
| Superdani4Ever chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
thank you for this story sweetie
Clay had no problem adapting to this and to Hap and Tig this was second nature-obviously ;)
He had stayed on and started seeing the Sons every time he turned noticed him too and that's when things in his life took a drastic change-awwww
He saw his brother-in law lose it and almost abandon his son-even Juice could see it!
Even if it meant he'd have to go against Clay to do it, but he really hoped it wouldn't come to that-tense
This ring symbolized what he lived for, who he lived for and he'd missed it the most-and now I'm crying
| Dutch'76 chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
Thank you for the kind words, I was surprised that you mentioned me. I can imagine that the writersblock is frustrating at times. Just don’t let that frustration freeze you up. I hope little stories like this one will keep the flow going and will be inspiring.
I like the idea of this story, the words you picked to work with are strong and meaningful words to Juice but also in their life. The first bit of the story felt a little ‘bitter’ or ‘defeated’. It didn’t show that energy that I associate with Juice. I see Juice as a high energy leveled person. It enhanced the feeling you described that he was feeling ‘out of place’ not accustomed to being in lock up and the night that is overcoming him. The family part had the same flow, not being in the right place, not having a home or a family and how he found his new family. Still Juices energy was missing in it, it was more facts and conclusional. Trust is a delicate thing, and with the memory of Clay pushing his brother of thirty years of the building showed how heavy trust is in their lives. It also showed how conflicting trust can be and how complicated it can get when you add loyalty to it. Juices loyalty is with the club, but his family would come first. Trust doesn’t say anything about the person, a kind man can be a brutal one at the same time. With freedom I found that Juice energy, which is naturally with the context it is placed in. The first ones were addressed in a context of confinement, now in freedom that energy could get out again. The placing of the rings was my favorite part. You wrote that very well (for me that is), with each ring he was closer to being free, to going home to find his place again. Thinking about his own little office, his cut, his wife and daughter, things that are the anchors to him. I would have expected him to bounce or run to his wife though lol!
I liked it Thank you and hope you get out of your writersblock funk!