Reviews for Going Under
BelovedSunshine chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
I'm reviewing this as I read...aaaaand GO!

~"It had always been a song that never failed to excite me with its promise of endless days that glistened like the sun on the ocean, stretching in a limitless dance all the way to the curve of the horizon." - OMWORD, Woman! Those are beautiful words.

~"He lights the Tilley lamp and the soft halo of light rests gently on jaw and cheek and throat, peaks and troughs of shadow and light." - Wow.

~"There's nothing that comes close to being in the water, to being underwater. You can seen the sun through it, the blue sky above and you know the world's still out there but for as long as you can hold your breath, for those few mindless moments, nothing but the water can touch you." - What a beautiful description. Picture perfect.

~"With one intake of breath I dive into the cool water, my hair spreading behind me like a bridal veil as I stroke and turn through the beautiful, quiet nothingness." - *sighs* Just. Beautiful.

~ I LOVE THIS! I love how much you DIDN'T give us in this. Just as much as the amazing words you did give us. We didn't need to know every detail of every interaction and every one's history. These are my favorite types of stories. It gives us readers so much room to imagine it all. :) And, I even love it despite the fact that they don't stay together cocooned in love. lol

Just Beautiful, Sweetie!
Sherbert20111 chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
What a great one-shot. Nice to see Edward as supporting cast. I thought Jake might have broken his neck coming off a wave badly until you said that the water was calm and then the theme tune started in the back of my head :)

Psst I came coz someone reccd Prism on ADF. 'scuse me while I pillage your back catalog...!
moojuicey chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
Excellent work. :) I was sent here by my dear mjinaspen, and I am very glad.

Typically, I tend to be a little cynical about broken-Bella fics (or broken-anyone fics) but this one was saved by your Edward. He was part of the story for only the moment that he needed to be; I didn't feel like you drew out any bit of his part in the story to serve some other purpose (namely, this fandom's obsession with Edward). I appreciate the restraint.

It would have been terribly easy to fill Edward's mouth with all kinds of platitudes and cheesy words to try to "fix" Bella, and I am so glad you didn't - it nearly always rings false. I think his one line, "kissing the right person, at the right place and the right time and for the right reason can change everything," was just enough to make me love him and the story. When terrible things happen, or when things seem chaotic, it's perhaps just that one part of the equation is missing or incomplete. And that's all the meaning that can be drawn from it.

Thanks for writing.
Twiggalina chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
What a great read this oneshot is!

I enjoyed it a lot:)
Rochelle Allison chapter 1 . 11/30/2011
wow.

this was utterly fantastic. so much longing, and love, and loss.

and then victory.

thank you.
emmzac chapter 1 . 11/21/2011
I'm not sure what to say. The detail of emotions, was amazing, like wow. Well done!
AnnaLund chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for this story (recommended by domysticated on twitter).

I love that Edward was just a catalyst, and not the love of Bella's life. Sometimes a man may come at a specific moment in time to help you get over/into/through times that hurt you. This was perhaps one of those times? And that encounter should never be confused with love. It is transferral of power, it is partaking of the magic. But it isn't love.

Thank you so much for this. It is absolutely heartbreaking, and my favorite phrase is:

"I believe in love and heartbreak and bourbon and sex and the ocean and random, terrifying chaos."

That, right there, is pure poetry.

Well done.

anna
mjinaspen chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
"Charlie's love cocoons me in a hundred different ways but the demonstrative form is not one of them. Jim is long gone and Jake has turned inwards and away from me, as cold and remote as the moon. But this tall, gentle stranger gathers me up and holds me tight while I tremble through the aftershocks."

- I am crying.

Such lush, rich prose and such a triumphant story. I will be reading again and rec'ing.

Thank you for writing.
Domysticated chapter 1 . 11/5/2011
This is as close to the perfect o/s as I've ever read.

Angsty and hopeful, brutal and sensual, complete yet open-ended. Edward in all his glory, generous, giving, not taking.

It feels like a prologue, and I would love to know what cone next... Will you tell the rest of this story to me?

And this... This...

I believe in love and heartbreak and bourbon and sex and the ocean and random, terrifying chaos
Genny910 chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
Wow. What a great story.
enka3 chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
Wow, I don't know what to say! You are great! this story is sad and lovely and written beautifully! Why don't you write more chapters? I would love to read whatever you write in the future
lizf22 chapter 1 . 9/20/2011
There is so much about this story that I love that it's hard to put it into words as beautiful as yours. I will say that I am honored to have been there from the beginning of your first foray into writing. I saw the early drafts and was completely amazed at how gorgeous your 'rough' paragraphs were!

You have quite a gift for imagery and I think that was what I first recognized when you started to share your writing with me. It's my favorite thing about this story, the way you describe and make me feel things rather than just read them.

I am so proud of you, Julie, and I am even more excited to read what you write next. Much lurve and kisses!
miaokuancha chapter 1 . 9/19/2011
Holy shit.

This is beyond beautiful.

It drags one under.
LightStarDusting chapter 1 . 9/19/2011
Hello darling one! Wanted to swing by here now that you've posted on this account and leave you some love. It's amazing that this is your first foray in ff writing, and very impressive at that! I know I got to see this in its early stages but now I get to love all over the final product... one of my favorite things to do!

I believe that I said this in my review over the contest site but what I really and truly love about this is that it's not about the love story. I think that authors have a tendency to focus on the romantic aspect when telling a story, thinking that it's what drives people first and foremost. And while that is important, of course, I really love that this focuses on her overcoming a huge obstacle in her life. And that Edward helps her to do it and that's pretty darn special.

This sentence is gorgeous: Charlie's love cocoons me in a hundred different ways but the demonstrative form is not one of them. Jim is long gone and Jake has turned inwards and away from me, as cold and remote as the moon. But this tall, gentle stranger gathers me up and holds me tight while I tremble through the aftershocks.

'"I believe in love and heartbreak and bourbon and sex and the ocean and random, terrifying chaos." A hand caresses my hair and his arm wraps around me as he moves closer until there is nothing separating us but our skin. His mouth moves slowly from my ear to my neck. He pulls back a little, his eyes looking briefly into mine before he whispers against my lips. "I believe brown eyes are beautiful and I believe that kissing the right person, at the right place and the right time and for the right reason can change everything."'

That speech reminds me of Bull Durham. :) So good!

I think that the significance of the water in this really parallels the canon story nicely - I have very visual images in my head of the water scenes at La Push. I'm not sure if that was intentional but let's go with yes. ;)

Beautifully done, J. Thank you for writing!

xoxoxo
Jenny Window chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
I first reviewed this story when it was posted on the contest site, but I wanted to leave some love here as well. Such a worthy winner! Please continue to write...you have so much talent.
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