Reviews for Nightwalker: Hero of Darkness
Roland chapter 4 . 5/14/2016
"I don't really know if you know, but Catholics get a bad rap from most other writers, whether from respectable secular intellectuals that you see in those big stuffy colleges to the shallow and exploitative cynical garbage writers, but I feel as though my faith and the writing I have are inseparable now. I feel this is a part of me maturing, so hopefully you will get to see more stories from me!" you really expect this statement to get non-Catholics to feel any sympathy for you?


Your paragraph does not convey the impression of an intelligent human being. Instead, it leaves those who read it with the impression that you are a very whiny, spiteful, and shallow excuse of a human being. Someone who responds to the trials and tribulations they are confronted with by SOME SMALL elements of society by blaming vast swathes of society for it, and hurling in a volley of barely-articulate and unimaginative insults for good measure.

I was raised Catholic. It was people who comported themselves in a manner like you who provided a considerable impetus for me to renounce that faith. (Best damn thing I ever did by a country mile, that was.)

Do yourself a big favor. Sit down, and think deep and long about what you're doing with your life and how you present yourself to the world. Because right now, you are doing yourself - AND your faith that you hold so dearly - a grave disservice.

That paragraph will only serve two purposes: it will alienate people not of your faith, and cause some - and ONLY 'some' - members of your faith to agree with you, with an attitude of "We hate those people too!"

Hatred does not result in progress.

Instead, it can only ever result in destruction and back-sliding.

So, go back to the drawing board. Have a rethink.
P.Jay13 chapter 4 . 9/7/2012
Fictionpress, huh? I'm alright with that. I'll see this story there, then!

Keep it up, and don't get discouraged! :D

13 (a.k.a. Baby BlueJay)
P.Jay13 chapter 3 . 9/3/2012
Ooohhh, I get it now! Her appearance can change so sometimes she looks like some kind of masculine creature. Gotcha. Sorry it took me a while to get that. "

Anyways, this is great. I can't wait for more. Update soon, please! :D

13 (a.k.a. Baby BlueJay)
P.Jay13 chapter 2 . 9/3/2012
Quick Question: Alice is a girl, right? Because you seem to be switching from "her" to "him" a lot in the beginning... Ah well. It doesn't stop the legibility of the story. :P

It just keeps getting better and better... KICK HER BUTT, ALICE! ...Wow, it's like I'm watching a wrestling match. XD But I do feel like there's gonna be a lot of fighting in the next chapter, so I better go check that out.

13 (a.k.a. Baby BlueJay)
P.Jay13 chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
It's official: I'm hooked. I'm lovin' it already! It's just so...original! And epic! I love relating to teenage superheroes.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the ever-so-awesome Nightwalker puts the crazy Mandolin in her place. Must. Continue. Reading. *u*

Whatever you do, do NOT lose inspiration for this story. I'll help in any way I can, too! :D

13 (a.k.a. Baby BlueJay)
RivalsAreAllies chapter 3 . 1/30/2012
Wow. NightWalker is pretty damn awesome.

Alice is awesome.

Mandolin is perfectly menacing.

I enjoy your characterization, and your use of literary conventions.

That lieutenant is an idiot. Just sayin'

Keep up the good work!
The Duelist of Dawn chapter 3 . 12/24/2011
A mind reader, yikes. Reminds me of this girl I saw in Static Shock, using her powers for the same thing... winning something with a vote and then expanding.

Nice work with the battle!
The Duelist of Dawn chapter 2 . 12/24/2011
Alright, I love a good Cop fake-out! lol. That guy wouldn't last a second if somehow Batman ended up in the interrogation.

And we have our first villain attack, love the build up to it by using the Homecoming Dance.
The Duelist of Dawn chapter 1 . 12/24/2011
Hmm, this looks promising. And you did point out about the vigilante business, forgot the name after all this time. So that was a good start having the Hero do his thing and follow up with Cop thoughts.

And then we seeing some things like Alice and Mandolin with some secrets. Gets me in the reading mood... Nice opening Chapter!
JaredMilne1982 chapter 3 . 12/12/2011
You've got a very intriguing plot and characters here, not to mention a good handle on the action and motivation of your characters.

The writing could use some polishing, though-you don't need to tell us exactly what everyone is thinking all the time, or their motivations. Mandolin's insane lust for power is pretty clear on its own, for instance. That's the major issue, though-you've got some very interesting characterization and plots going on.

Keep it up!
asdljkghaklsdghkajshdlkjhalkhd chapter 3 . 11/27/2011
Hey, the reason why my story refers to the main character as he or a she is because of the constantly changing POV. If it is from the POV of somebody that does not know Nightwalker's secret identity, then they will refer to the Nightwalker as a he. Sorry for the confusion.
Thiskidd-Earth-69 chapter 3 . 11/27/2011
This has a decent premise, I like the characters, although I don't quite understand why you refer to Alice as a guy and a girl multiple times.

This sounds like a strong start to an awesome story. The only suggestion I have at the moment is spell check and reread, there are a lot of missing words that pull me from the story.

All in all it sounds cool.
tttfn chapter 2 . 11/17/2011
Well now! That's very good! K.I.U.! (Keep it up!)
MadrinGenesis-Earth-69 chapter 2 . 11/7/2011
Very nice, i like the introduction of the Queen of Diamonds. Cant wait to see how the fight goes down.
Just a reader chapter 2 . 11/4/2011
I enjoyed reading the first issue, and the beginning of the second, I would have finished it if you didn't continuously confuse me, several times in this story your main character is referred to as a he. please re read your stories before posting them.
18 | Page 1 2 Next »