Reviews for Chitose no Kamikakushi
Dark-Automaton chapter 10 . 6/3/2014
I love this story; the visualizations are beautiful, the character interpretations are accurate, and Chitose herself is incredibly likable. This has officially made it to my favorites list.
Gladiara Alata chapter 10 . 3/21/2014
I don't really say this often to an OC fic, but hats off to you. This is a very well thought-out series with a genuinely likeable OC. I enjoyed the plot, even though it feels a bit rushed in between of character expositions.
Anyway, I noticed that you have a sequel up so I'm off to read that one.
Scourge From BloodClan chapter 2 . 1/17/2014
Fond of Flan x Koishi paring ? Well, mate, you have found your self a friend . I am also very, very,very fond of that pairing and I wish there was more of it but, alas, there isn't
kattycha01 chapter 2 . 7/17/2013
I realy, REALY like the way you handled dear Okuu-chan.
DschingisKhan chapter 10 . 7/4/2013
That was fun; thank you. Seems you've a fairly strong understanding of the lore and a solid respect for the canon. More, I think you give better treatment than most to characters that get a bad rap (like the Aki sisters and Okuu). And Yuuka? Oh my, Kazami Yuuka... exceptionally well-played.

The other aspect to this is you brought an original character to Gensoukyou and lived to tell about it. Often, these sorts of plots are a wish-fulfillment "ordinary guy" thing where they have no defining traits, they're dumb, and they end up living out a harem anime plot that even Akamatsu would call "dull". But Chitose managed to avoid this fate. Indeed, though you made cursory nods in that direction, it's largely the story of how an industrious shrine otaku was coerced into a whirlwind tour of another world and found a home. She didn't really feel like a self-insert. Also, though this may be kind of obvious, she's also a girl. I wonder if it's because less than 1% of the cast is male, but most Touhou originals seem to end up being, as mentioned, ambitionless boys, even though that just as statistically unlikely. :

Oh, speaking of which, I like Sakan. You also managed to sprout a boy in Gensoukyou; impressive. But I wonder if he didn't get enough development?

That is, of course, the rub, here: there are so many characters, that your drive to send Chitose everywhere spread things pretty thin. This isn't completely unexpected, given the nature of the gap hag's ploy, but I think more time with Chitose simply INTERACTING with the natives would have strengthened the narrative from the standpoint of taking about strong bonds made by the end. In principle, there's nothing wrong with Alice and Keine having a sizable conversation whilst Chitose looks on in confusion. Given that one of your secondary objectives was to help introduce the realm to newbies, it's probably even sensible, but it flattened what could have been an otherwise-interesting outsider perspective. Chitose is an engineer, which is not terribly unlike an emissary of science to people in our reality. I like to think we're also naturally curious folk, you know? So imagine my surprise when she didn't interject much even when Okuu and Nitori were talking about technical things- things she'd possibly know a bit about. That sort of thing.

Anyway, good work.
DragonXDelinquent chapter 7 . 6/21/2013
Magician Potential-Might be a high class in the future considering Yukari found her interesting and Alice did drop the grimoire on her-sure tsukumogami-but still

Machine ManipulationKappas(SCIENCE)

Oh god Magic BioSuit Power Armor?
Twilight-Lloyd chapter 9 . 3/26/2013
I've been told Gensokyo means "the world where dreams & illusions remain." So your belief that Gensokyo is wonder seems fairly valid.
Twilight-Lloyd chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Just not a day in Gensokyo unless you have to utter that phrase.
Mr. Vareel chapter 10 . 6/25/2012
Guess who?

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I was very well written (at least compared to some other fanfics), both in terms of grammar and plot. I liked the how the OCs played out as well. I'm sorry that I don't have much in the ways of constructive criticism, though. I am a terrible critic.
Dr. Magnus Feirenbacher chapter 7 . 6/21/2012
Hey, great story so far. But in this chapter, it dawned on me: your OC has a similar, of not, the same ability as one of mine! I didn't realize there was already another simalar OC to mine when I started.

Anyway, keep up the good work. I'll start reading your sea sequal as soon as I'm done with this first fic.

Caio
Lord Mehtul Bawkes chapter 10 . 1/25/2012
A gem. That's what I feel about your story.

Some stories are car races, they give you the urge to devour them really fast. Yours, on the other hand hand, is the exact opposite. It is to be taken slow, perhaps with a cup of tea for the mood.

It has been a great slow journey for me as I read your work. I will continue to read your other works for your stories are a rare kind here in the touhou fanfic community.

From a grateful reader to the author...
shadowmccloud chapter 6 . 1/16/2012
Real quick, the "of course, you realize, that this means war" quote was from Bugs Bunny *TO* Daffy Duck. Just thought I'd point that out.
joshwar chapter 10 . 10/26/2011
i have to admit, its a good story, one well worth reading.

when i first saw it i was thinking 'this will be so predictable', but i was thrown off that mind set almost immediatly, i could see a lot of this in canon, yet still amazed by every little detail here and there.

i couldnt help but fall in love with the story, from a run in with Yuuka, to the ghostly band's performance, haunted by fairies, a battle with the tengu, and STILL managed to reach so many places on intrest, all in under a week.

what i would give to have a week like that, thank you for taking us on that incredible journy
The MissingLink chapter 9 . 9/29/2011
Finished? Well, congratulations! You have createed something which I consider to be both sequel-worthy and generally well-written.

My major point of criticism is some formulaicness in dialogue, with most of it taking the form of [character] [action] "Dialogue", or "Dialogue", [character] [word to replace 'said']. In a lot of those cases, I think the dialogue could stand on its own without the extra bits without causing confusion, especially in conversations between only two people. Or, if that does cause confusion (and admittedly it can look a bit bare), try the form "I'm not sure," Chitose said. "I guess I'll have to start looking for a place to live now." - moving the action/verb to the middle of the sentence, which looks a bit more dynamic. You've done so in a lot of places already, but you do often also lead such a sentence with an action, making it look as though the people talking need to keep moving in some way in order to be able to speak.

I don't know if you're planning to write a sequel, but for me at least Chitose is going into my personal bit of fanon. Good luck with your continued writing!
The MissingLink chapter 7 . 9/27/2011
Heh. Between tidying up the Aki shrine and 'manipulation of machines', I am now picturing the Aki sisters standing on top of a large combine harvester and laughing maniacally. ...Probably not where this is going, but an amusing mental image nonetheless.
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