|Reviews for Temptation of the Night|
| Gwen Truong chapter 1 . 6/5/2012
You know, it's very heartless to end the story there :-D I was expecting to read much longer, I strongly believed something important was going to happen that night and a very hot session would take place on that moonlit night, on that lakeshore! Too bad, I couldn't see it, but at least you let me know "Imagination and reality had finally merged" and I'm happy :-)
So you started writing! From your deep reviews, I imagined you'd be a good writer, and yes, you are!
| AncientPurebloodPrincessLolita chapter 1 . 3/12/2012
And thank Pete for that! Neither Zero, Kaname or myself couls take anymore torture!
Thankies for this utterly, sinuously wonderful piece.
Uke Kaname is divine, no?
...Now all we have to do is make Hino Matsuri-sensei realize that and give us offical Vampire Knight yaoi!
Keep rockin' because this was great.
| Kare29 chapter 1 . 1/11/2012
very good! you should continue! good job!
| PhiloSofea chapter 1 . 12/10/2011
This is beautiful story, written with enchanting and capturing words. You didn't describe everything in detail like most authors do but it's nice. And your English is beautiful. Not many have the talent to write like this, as if we're reading a beautifully written poetry book yet in truth, it's actually a story book. Well done. I hope you would continue making these kinds of story in the near future.
| The Last Rose to Fall chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
thats really good :) i like the way you use descriptive language :) keep it up!
sincerely The Last Rose To Fall :)
| bloodredhead chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
For your first english fanfic its very good! I love it!
I'm so glad Yengirl and Pink Bead Girl encouraged you to post and make this.
The only bad thing is its one chapter. I'd have loved to have seen more!
| Pink Bead Girl chapter 1 . 9/24/2011
My dear Schattengestalt...I am just now remembering to breathe again. Oh my, how incredibly, utterly beautiful. I am enchanted and entranced, your words speak straight to my heart. Your lovely style of writing is just perfectly the style that appeals to me.
I relish beauty above all things and your story is just the epitome of that. The lushness of the setting of that most magical silvery lake is already a pure delight to read about and when you add Kaname in all his fulsome glory...ahh...I am lost!
"...lay a brightly shining jewel. The surface of the lake was in motion. Bathed by moonlight, it seemed to resemble a raiment of silvery linen, rippled by the wind..."
oh I so want to go there to see this pure clean water, to dip my fingers in and delight in watching the cold drops of liquid slide off my fingertips as you so beguilingly describe here...
"...He imagined how the water droplets would worship that body when Kaname next rose from the lake..."
Oh be still my fluttering heart! Oh my dear how that image burns its way into my mind. No wonder Zero is unable to take his eyes from it, I too nearly swoon with the sensuousness of it.
I very much admire too the way you don't mention Zero's name too soon, instead you call him the observer, the watcher. I like this touch it adds a little frisson of delight, that slight touch of the voyeur that acknowledges that perhaps one ought not to watch but is helpless not to do so.
You continue on with that watery theme that so entrances...
"...they would escape from his hair, kiss his sinful lips, trail over his bare chest and wander even further down, until..."
Aaah, the perfect timing of that tiny little cliff hanger of "down, until..." this could not have been written better in any way. You nailed it perfectly, the expectation rising and then that halt, while the mind races on with the image suggested by your words. Bravo!
I love the way that Zero is almost tortured by the beauty he sees before him, unable to rip himself away and glad that Kaname doesn't see him. It allows him the ultimate indulgence of his dreams, the expressions of his pent up longings in the privacy of his hide away there in the woods.
I quiver as I read your description of glorious Kaname emerging from the lake...
"Slowly...painfully slowly, that perfect body was revealed. Bit by bit, part by part. Perfect..."
Oh my dear girl, the slow burning eroticism of those well chosen phrases, I yearn for that sight myself. You said so much without saying anything explicit at all. Many wistful sighs now on my part.
I am glad you give Kaname his just dues here. I also that think that Zero is this side of wonderful but Kaname is the one that lures me, draws me near and to read of you describing him as ...
"Kaname's skin was flawless, sparkling water drops running down his body...he was unreachable...like a God, a beautiful young God..."
ahhh, mmmm, ahhh! so nice to find someone on my wavelength here. My eyes trace and retrace your words, I can't stop reading that description, it so enchants me.
I like very much how Zero after watching this is unable to leave like he normally would. So there is something different about this day isn't there? Something that holds him at his post where both his body and soul are in turmoil at the vision before him.
I love the cleverness of this...
"Then, as if following an inner intuition, Kaname opened his eyes and looked into his direction.
He flinched. Had he been seen?
No, obviously not..."
but yes, yes, yes he has been seen. There is just something in the way you phrased Kaname's quick glance onto the shore that quickens my heartbeat, shortens my breath as I lick my lips to ease my nervous expectations. I have not read yet that Kaname is truly aware of his voyeur's regard but something alerts me that it will hopefully be so.
This is yet another example of your literary skill here, the power you have to suggest and hint and allude with such deftness of phrase, with the tiniest of nuances. Well done my dear Schattengestalt, you are indeed a gifted storyteller in all measures.
Having Kaname climb up the slope and lie down in all his naked glory on the tender green grass, aahhh, you know the way to tease and entice so well! It is glaringly obvious now that Kaname fully knows he is observed and is using all his wiles to attract his hidden watcher. Lord knows I don't need any more invitation than this!
"The beauty bent his head...the eyelids opened and dark orbs looked his way..."
I am just so delighted that all your descriptions of Kaname call him beautiful for in my mind he is exactly that...utterly beautiful. To call him handsome is not the right fit I think because as you so correctly describe him, he is this ethereal immortal being suffused with true beauty and you capture that perfectly time and time again. I sigh in total satisfaction as your words just resonate brilliantly with my own perceptions of Kaname.
Then the reveal, so simply done as to make it just right...
"How much longer do you want to stand there?"
A small laugh escapes me as I imagine Zero's surprise and I hear the lilt that surely must be in Kaname's voice as he asks his question. A happy little moment indeed.
"I'm cold and it's your fault."
Indeed it is dear Zero, making Kaname parade up and down so often with that cool, crisp lake water dripping off him because you are too shy to show yourself, lol. Lovely how the simplicity of this little sentence is just right.
And as for the end...aaahhh! Perfect.
"...He rested his weight on one elbow, a hidden fire burning in his dark orbs...warm me Zero!..."
Heavens above, Zero would have to be made of stone to resist that invitation. I like very much how you are so restrained here with your descriptions of the physical loveliness that now engages them both but your words still manage to ignite the mind with what must be happening.
All in all my dear, it has been a sweet interlude here indeed. The story is beautifully complete in the form it is in yet it leaves an avenue open should you wish to embellish it with another chapter or two.
And to think that in your author's notes you say you are nervous posting this story in English. Well my dear just let me say this is an absolute gem. You have far outstripped many a writer who's first language is English. I am enchanted with this story and I would absolutely love to read some more if you would be inclined to grace us with more of the wonderful imaginings of your mind.
It was my pleasure to write this review, the words simply flew from my fingers and I am so very much looking forward to meeting here again and repeating this most enjoyable exercise.
May your muse ever grace you and eloquence be your watchword always.
with warm regards,
| Love332 chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
This chapter was so amazingly and beautifully written! Loved it very much! :)
| Kuran Mayumi chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Such beautiful literature and description...and a little tragic in the beginning. I added it to my favourites! I think it should be Romance/Hurt/Comfort. Loved it
| Anja chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
Liebe Schattengestalt. Ich sitz hier jetzt etwas sprachlos, weil es mir die Sprache beim lesen geradezu verschlagen hat. Du hast eine wundervolle Art wörter zu benutzen und verzauberst mich mit jedem einzelnen davon. Glaub mir, meine Augen haben geradezu am Monitor geklebt (weißt du wie schwer es ist die da wieder wegzubekommen? XD). Von dem Bild das du in meinen Gedanken von Kaname zeichnest ganz zu schweigen! :D
Ich bin sehr froh, daß du zwei wundervolle Personen hattest, die dich dazu gebracht haben deine geschichte hier zu posten, ansonsten wäre mir wirklich eine wunderschöne geschichte entgangen die sich keinen deut hinter irgendeiner anderen FF verstecken muss. Oder lass es mich einfach so sagen:" Mädel versteck dich nicht und schreib weiter von deinen favoriten VK Pärchen, du hast das Talent dazu!" :D
Bitte tu uns allen einen riesengroßen gefallen und lass deine Fantasie weiter spielen, ich würde mich sehr freuen.
| ben4kevin chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
oh my very, very good. I hope you write, more VK fics.
| Sagakure chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
This is amazing and utterly delicious! :D You write extremely beautifully, and portray them so well, it's delicious to read your ZxK.
It was VERY enjoyable to read! I strongly hope you will write more Zero x Kaname fics! *craves reading more by you* :D
| YenGirl chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
I came to know you through your reviews of my stories. Your reviews themselves are a delight – each a treasure to be read and re-read often – trust me, I do that each time my fragile ego needs a boost! I treasure each of your reviews for the thought, the effort, the time and the care you have put into them. But more than just giving me pleasure, they show that you are not only a wonderful reviewer but a wonderful writer as well. This is something I am sure PBG agrees with. And with this lovely gem, our beliefs are solidified into concrete knowledge. We are right! :D
This is completely exquisite. I was bowled over the moment I read the first two sentences. I daresay my jaw was hanging right down to the floor and my drool was wetting the entire floor as my eyes raced on ahead of my shell shocked brain. Every word, every sentence painted a picture of a quiet yet sensual nocturnal escapade so beautiful I never wanted it to end.
You have a gift for writing what is beautiful and heartfelt and lovelorn and sensual and delightful, I am enchanted and only wished you had begun writing in English much sooner!
Here is a Kaname we all know – perfect and pale and skilled and at one with the night and with his own body. We know he knows he is not alone and we nod and smile when he pretends to be for he is a pureblood. And they are born predators.
Here is a Zero that took us by surprise – no stomping around schoolgrounds, no angsting over endless bloodlust or snapping at beautiful vampires. Just someone lonely and longing for beauty, longing to possess it and worship it with just a touch of envy to render his feelings sweetly poignant. A voyeur, true enough, but surely enchanting enough to be forgiven!
This story is short enough to tease and tempt. While I am sure that physical intimacy is something you will also render beautiful with your writing, this one shot is beautiful as it is. You would after all, want us to retain some form of coherence for us to better appreciate the stunningly beautiful visuals you have painted for us!
The gorgeous description of the night, the delights of the forest (that lovely lake!) and the sinful perfection of that lone swimmer who displays not an iota of being watched or being watched while in the nude (oh, I have to stop drooling!) and the earnest yet humble yearnings of the observer (go! Ggo get your pureblood!) leave me stumbling for words.
So you are most welcome, my dear and thank you for this stunning gem. And although I’m trying very hard not to rush you, I can’t help myself – please! Spin more beautiful tales for us! :D