Reviews for EroChikara
TheBlazingDragon chapter 1 . 7/1
Guest chapter 1 . 1/23
lucky bastard
Guest chapter 1 . 5/25/2015
Guest chapter 1 . 4/24/2014
labeled5150 chapter 1 . 12/23/2012
pls make more chapters
Forsaken God chapter 1 . 2/11/2012
Looking forward to your next chapter
DeactivatedAccount111 chapter 1 . 12/11/2011
This is interesting. Lookin forward to your next chapter.
lou2003us chapter 1 . 11/15/2011
Please update i love it LOL
RE5 forever chapter 1 . 10/22/2011
Dude begging you to a Sasuke/Kushina story be like the first here hope you do
dragon ninja269 chapter 1 . 10/13/2011
The lemon part was okay but it didn't flow right.

For example, when Yugao and Naruto were in one position then suddenly they were in a different room and position. At least explain how they went from one room to another or one position to the next position.
EndGame666 chapter 1 . 10/6/2011
can't say i've seen this take on a lemon fic before. realy hot and you do fairly well on the details.(not that i would know) need to work on your trasitions between positions as they are rather sudden/choppy. such as when he was getting a blow job(wich im not entierly sure if he got to finish) to eating her out; Yugao riding him to naruto being back on top; and going from there to when naruto postioned her by the tree. at one section you called naruto blair.
sambit chapter 1 . 10/1/2011
" ((Blair)) lifted himself on his arms but Yugao wasn't in a patient mood, she kept fucking herself on ((Blair's)) cock."

WTF are u substituting yourself there.!
Gin of the wicked smile chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
interesting! this story holds a lot of promise! also you need to reread this for errors
Takai153 chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
Nice start. I look forward to seeing how this will progress. The wording could be a bit smoother though. Still, great work. Send my appreciation to Shadow the Night of Chaos, I hope he'll update soon and you will translate it quickly. ;)
Random Reader chapter 1 . 9/22/2011

First of all I'd like to say that I'm am not trying to flame or criticize your writing, but I'd like to point out a few things (which I know you're asking for a Beta).

This is a really interesting take on Naruto and definitely something I'd continue to read. However, there are a few things which you should take notice of once you translate it.

You got approval from another author to use his lemon scene, but you didn't adapt it to story so that it would fit more to the setting of lemon was occuring. Therefore, I'd suggest that you reread some of you're writing, maybe double and triple checking, to catch these mistakes. This includes missing replacing "Blair" with "Naruto" once and sudden changing of sexual positions and location (house/tree). Basically reread and proofread your work so that readers don't get confused. A Beta helps but you should also look over your work too after translation.

A little work on grammar and sentence structure would help a little too.
27 | Page 1 2 Next »