|Reviews for Promises|
| xOx chapter 1 . 3/17
I need more of this ; n;
pleaaase continue I beg
| dawnfire7 chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
Okay, I know it's been three years, but YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT THERE! (Sorry, rant done). Seriously, though, this is very good writing. I especially love how you characterized Shinigami-sama as worried, but not about to show that fact. Although I am wondering why you didn't just make this another chapter of Those Golden Eyes . . . whatever. This story is great.
| Alfred Freedoom Jones chapter 1 . 8/2/2014
Please Update Please
| T. Alana M chapter 1 . 7/14/2014
This is great - and it ends at a cliffhanger! Please update this! You're killing us with the anticipation!
| ChildrenAreMySoulFood chapter 1 . 5/26/2014
Please do not forget this. It's been nearly 3 years.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/15/2014
Okay, I was reading this since.. Well.. I can rarely find a good Death the Kid story that features a brotherly bond between Kiddo and Asura. Found one, but... It had a Mary-Sue in it (*cough* Yours *cough*). Seeing that you made a sequel, I looked it up, and I noticed that you have requested help for it.
Alright, this won't be pleasant... SO... Sit back, and try not to want to choke me too bad.
You have three options.
1. You can leave it as is. Meaning, leave it on hold and in the dust where it will be blocked in by other trash fics.
2. You could continue with the Mary-Sue, by force, with no real plot out line and forcing this interesting story to plummet to it's doom along with the other trashy fics.
Or 3, the best option out of the bunch in my opinion. Revise both stories.
By revising your story to fit more with the canon facts, you will open the door to this sequel's run.
It should be too hard, with Atoushi having revealed that Kiddo and Asura are actually brothers, you don't have to do much there. The only real problems you will have is removing the Mary-Sue mother you have put in there, and changing the timeline.
Remember, Asura and Kiddo were born from a fragment of Shinigami's soul. Fear. Meaning, they do have a connection that no other would truly understand.. Except maybe Maka's father.
Asura was made into an adult with all his lines connected, while Shinigami made Kid into a child, restricting his powers by leaving the lines incomplete (in fear that he would turn out like Asura), so he could learn fear, courage, etc.
Asura being nearly 800 and Kiddo being either less than 200 or a little over.. It is possibly they may have met each other before Shinigami locked Asura away. They may have shared a brotherly moment back then.. (Plus, at the end of the manga.. Asura did seem rather determined to have Kid join him.)
So, your first story still could work, you just got to re-read it and consider how to re-write it to fit more to the canon of things.
Once you do that, it should be easier to revise this one since you are only on the first chapter.
Kid dreaming about Asura, nice idea. I once read a fic where apart of Asura's soul was locked inside of Kid's. Noah had done something to shove Kid's back and allow Asura to take control over his body.
Well, the concept isn't a bad idea given Asura and Kid's connection. It is possible that Asura, while erasing Kid's memories for a second time, placed a bit of himself into Kiddo. And now with Kiddo feeling uncertain, he can easily take control over Kid for a bit to do some.. horrible things.
Like, he could make Kid not hold back so much against Black Star or nearly kill Crona. All while he has a void look on his face. This continues until finally, Asura becomes strong enough to fully take over, tucking Kid's soul away.
Then you can start a third story where they are trying to figure out a way to get Kiddo back. But now Asura has his own body back and has Kid under his control, so now.. We have a Kid being manipulated by Asura, fighting his friends and family.. And Kid does something to save Asura.. but he ends up disappearing...
So another story could be made from that.. But I rather not say that because now I am getting into a story idea I had and I really don't like people copying me without permission.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/14/2013
when the next chapter
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
HOW CAN YOU LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS?! CONTINUE THIS STORY!
| 8gamergirl8 chapter 1 . 7/4/2013
MORE! This is a great fan fiction
| symmetry-is-key chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
It's been two years! CONTINUE damnitt!
| S1T2A3R4 chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
plz plz PLZ continue! Pwease? I want more!
| Miiv12 chapter 1 . 6/21/2013
i really like this story!it,s getting really good i love the way you write shinigami-sama,s repartee,So are you going to do more of this story?PWEASE MAKE MORE!:::::::::::
| Dark after rain chapter 1 . 6/19/2013
This sequal needs to continue
| ShadowGirl170 chapter 1 . 6/6/2013
Plz update soon
| Mew'smeow chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
You gonna continue?