|Reviews for My Brother!|
| Fast Frank chapter 24 . 12/2/2016
So, evidence mounts that the Patronus is of the seventh element ie. Light. That would make the eighth, Dark.
| Fast Frank chapter 21 . 11/30/2016
Opsie: Harry admitted to having a biased view.
| Fast Frank chapter 20 . 11/28/2016
So rather than the Greek conception of the elements, we have the Oriental. Add Light and Dark, and we have the Final Fantasy XI system.
| Fast Frank chapter 12 . 11/21/2016
Continuity fail: If classes are cancelled on Halloween, why didn't that happen last year?
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/20/2016
Characters seem a bit two dimensional, like they're not really talking, just the author having a conversation with themself to get the story where it needs to be. But well, I expect things to get way better considering 400k words.
| RoseRainWithLove25 chapter 8 . 11/21/2016
I am sort of sad it seems that you are going to make Draco bad because honestly I absolutely love him . but oh well it happen . but I really like your story and love your writing. but I hope you give me a few twists take a bit of creative liberties with characters. but so far you have reading.
| Fast Frank chapter 8 . 11/19/2016
I like this Luna, but she seems overly perceptive for eleven.
| RoseRainWithLove25 chapter 4 . 11/20/2016
i really hope Emma is in slytherin. I think it would be cool.
| Fast Frank chapter 7 . 11/18/2016
"Rustier" doesn't really apply, but since Harry is only twelve, we can let it pass.
| Fast Frank chapter 4 . 11/16/2016
I never liked the "Petunia can't cook" plot device. Someone had to have taught canon Harry, or in this story, Emma to cook. (And don't say she learned by watching Graham Kerr.)
| AngelFlower2000 chapter 38 . 11/11/2016
This is awesome. Please update soon.
| English Major chapter 6 . 11/2/2016
You have some good ideas and some plot twists that I enjoyed. However, your English skills need some strict attention. One cat: cat. More than one cat: cats (NOT cat's). One Potter: Potter. More than one Potter: Potters (NOT Potter's). There are NO apostrophes in pluralizations. This is Primary School English you need to review. Belonging to one Potter: Potter's. Belonging to more than one Potter: Potters' (or Potters's). The possessive requires an apostrophe.
Not only do you not know how to use an apostrophe, you can apparently not differentiate between homonyms: their/there/they're, to/too/two, and your/you're are just a few you have misused. Looking up the definitions of these words and using them correctly would vastly improve the readability of your work.
Keep writing; you can only improve if you understand what you are doing wrong.
Thank you for your contribution to the world of Harry Potter Fan Fiction.
| watertribegirl chapter 38 . 10/26/2016
good story. please update soon
| LauriaCl chapter 38 . 10/26/2016
Love your story! Hope you update soon! :D
| Kali-blue chapter 24 . 10/25/2016
Sort of like the Marauders , I think a tongue and cheek name would work. The Charming Gits or Charming other slightly derogatory name. Granted charming serves two purposes as it is magical and is positive even if the defense aspect of the club is not covered for hexes and jinxes. Harry's Hogwarts Hexers could work, H3 or H cubed or h to the 3rd power.
I've liked your story thus far. The camaraderie is touching, but not saccharine. The public jinxes are fun and inventive. Cheers, Kali