|Reviews for My Brother!|
| Lilykees chapter 31 . 11/17/2013
I really like this story. I hope Harry wakes up and gets together with Ginny soon.
| heronlove chapter 31 . 11/16/2013
That was a great chapter. I enjoy reading about the new characters you developed but I do miss the Trio's friendship and Hermione and Ron relationship in this fic. I love the werewolf organization that they have started.
| Mr.Oakzzz chapter 31 . 11/16/2013
Nice chapter! )
I must say, I was a little surprised when Harry asked them to check their wands and none was gone. But you solved it in a good way, this really should get Fudge into some trouble! (God knows he deserves it...)
Also, I loved Luna's and Albert's interaction. Only Luna would talk to her friends about a friend of hers who got a new job and "conviniently" leave out that the job in question was the post of Minister of Magic.
All in all, great chapter!
| FreelanceBum chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
so did they ever get a second bed in that room?
Also glad to see an update, kutgw
| RedRangerBelt chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
That was a really cool chapter. Is the Guild going to find out that Crouch senior has a son, and said son was the person that cast the Dark Mark, not to mention tried to kill Harry and the rest of the Guild? How long are Ron and Hermione going to keep dancing around each other, not realizing they both like each other as more than friends? And for that matter, when will the rest of the Guild find girlfriends/boyfriends, since they're all going to be teenagers by the time they get to Hogwarts? What are Harry and Emma currently doing in their studies and how are they progressing in said studies?
| Riku Uzumaki chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
You borrowed the name "Solar Flare" from Dragon Ball, didn't you?
| mwinter1 chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
| A Frozen Shadow chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
Can't wait for chapter 32 :p
| MuggleCreator chapter 31 . 11/15/2013
Haha, I know what you mean about notes, I have tons...
| lovemya2000 chapter 29 . 11/12/2013
| TheGirlGroupWriter chapter 11 . 11/11/2013
How many times have I read this? It is sooooooo good! I love it post more chapters:)
| FreelanceBum chapter 30 . 11/5/2013
Yeah I like your MB!Demelza. However I have never played Draken so I have clue clue what it could possibly be about.
Anyway, since your chapters got longer, and longer I couldn't review them as I was doing earlier with the shorter chapters. Note: This is not a complaint, I much prefer long chapters.
As your chapters went on I noticed a distinct improvement in writing skill, and it made your story more enjoyable therefore the further in I got. Year 1 was semi difficult to wade through due to how similar to canon it was, but that is unavoidable. Your OCs, or might as well be OCs due to them just being names, are all fairly enjoyable. Most aren't that well fleshed out, as you tend to use the golden trio Emma & Ginny the most. Again, fairly reasonable for the mechanics of how such a large group would interact.
Plotwise it is canon, with a few minor changes. Even the fairly impressive skills at their respective disciplines hasn't impacted the going ons. In fact Harry looks less impressive for being all the more skilled, oddly. This is due to having a far better support group than in canon (as in 6x larger). I get the feeling 5th year is when the biggest changes occur, although maybe it could be fourth year due to Moody being harder to ambush when he is being this active.
Grammatically it is sound, with only minor problems that only someone who really reads into it would notice or care. Spelling it is down to the homonyms, you use to/two/too interchangeably along with their/there (although strangely not "they're"). You also got affect correct instead of using effect, that pleased me. So overall much better than most of what is offered here.
Once again back to the characters, as they are what this story is all about. This story would be absolute garbage if it wasn't for how you write the characters. The interactions are interesting, and you did a good job of humanizing Percy beyond the caricature he normally is portrayed as. I always felt sorry for him, being so different than his family. He is a huge black sheep in his family, and you are doing a good job of showing that while being true to his rather ambitious ways.
One objection I have is how you are handling the dating, it looks like the Guild is going to all pair up with their final pairing instantly without any dating around first. For how well you have portrayed everything else for the characters, that is a shame. However I know the pressure FF gets from shippers so I can understand not wanting to sail in that shit storm.
Next character I am impressed with is Demelza, which apparently got a fan base around. Good job, I'm sure you know why she is well done.
I'm enjoying Colin, which is rare. He usually isn't in the story or is just a nuisance/photographer.
I'm a bit disappointed we haven't seen more of the Granger parents, but c'est la vie.
Now finally onto the main character that drives this for want of a nail story, Emma. I still don't like her name, as it shares an actor's name in there. Also for some reason fanon named Mrs. Granger that. (In fact I think they are named Emma and Dan as part of the Hr/H ship. To the point I want to name them Rupert and Danielle to just fuck with those people). Emma is a fun character, but a bit dull at times. She is far more reactive than proactive, and strangely obedient of her brother. He charges forth several times into combat, telling her to stay put, and she actually does. Quite peculiar. I'm surprised the Hat didn't want Hufflepuff for her, she seems perfect for it. Quite loyal, very connected to her friends, dedicated to helping, works harder than anyone else, and so forth. However she works well for her role, and is one of the rare OC main characters I don't hate. Even if she is the Dobby-slayer.
So incredibly long review summed up: kutgw, looking forward to your updates.
| FreelanceBum chapter 29 . 11/5/2013
I still think the Guild of Magnanimous Intent is better.
| Jas120 chapter 30 . 11/4/2013
Omg I love love love it I hope you update soon
| FreelanceBum chapter 21 . 11/4/2013
I don't like either of those names, Griffin's Cotorie would be great. Lion's Clique, Guild of Magnanimous Intent(Ok, I like venture brothers), The Fellowship, Duelist Cabal.