|Reviews for To the Stars|
| Rowan Seven chapter 41 . 5/17
Review for Chapters 40 and 41 (SPOILERS!)
I said in my review of Chapter 39 that it would likely flow better when it is paired with the next chapter, and that expectation has been met. Chapter 40 was one of your better action-oriented chapters, in my opinion, with smooth transitions, crisp action descriptions, and plentiful tension. I particularly liked the group dynamics. The conversations and friction early on emphasized that this was not a pre-made team with experience working together, and that was reflected in the unprofessional chatter and (borderline) insubordination as the veterans contested command.
On the character development side, Ryouko's bloodlust came back to haunt her in a rather chilling after the fact realization, and it's interesting seeing her opinions of the Ancients and her mentors shift as she gets to know them better and see them under stress. And Kyouko was definitely under stress in this chapter. You did a great job creating a sense that Kyouko's impatience and personal history were affecting her judgments and making her reckless, and the pushback from the other senior members on the team made things worse for her. Ryouko standing up to her in a battle of wills was also an unexpected but intriguing development. It shows how far Ryouko has come and how much more confident and certain of herself she is, even if she doesn't realize it herself much of the time. I wonder if and when she'll have to square off against Mami.
Meanwhile, the recap at the beginning of Chapter 41 was an effective way to summarize recent developments and inform the readers of the status and likely future of the clones. The disclosure of Meiqing's wish and (later in the chapter) her family's Unification Wars history was a nice fleshing out of the character, too. She's become much more prominent in this arc, and I like how you've used her and utilized her powers. She makes a worthwhile addition to Ryouko's magical girl pseudo-team (which, if you count Azrael and Sacnite, has reached the coveted five member status).
Sacnite herself is a very impressive character. Her drive to continue on and live despite the tragedy she's endured is admirable, and there's something very endearing about her. I don’t know how you would make it happen, but I really do hope this story will feature more of her in the future.
I already commented on Dewitt and what he and his conspirators might have been researching and the Incubator connection in the Sufficient Velocity discussion thread, but I want to add that you did an excellent job portraying the horror of his actions. The thought of what those girls went through is sickening, and knowing that he was willing to sacrifice so many lives makes things even worse. In a very human sense, whoever is behind this conspiracy seems like a more terrible enemy than the Cephalopods.
And finally, there's the religious element here for both Ryouko and Kyouko. For Ryouko, it's interesting and somewhat ironic that she's finding comfort in the knowledge that there's a goddess guiding her actions, while for Kyouko it seems that she's struggling with the age-old problem of why is there so much evil in the world if gods exist? Considering what happened at the end of this chapter, I wonder if Ryouko will continue to be so comfortable about Madoka intervening in her life and have faith that she's making the best decisions, while Kyouko might find comfort in the knowledge that despite all the evil in the world the goddess she worships is looking after her. At the very least, you've created some skillful juxtapositions and parallels between the two.
And before I forget, Jong Yi's inclusion in Chapter 40 was very clever. It's neat seeing the magical girls you've seeded the story with come back for a future use, and it greatly helps reduce the sense that a magical girl just so happens to have the right power at the right time is a contrivance when that magical girl has appeared before and used her power in a different context. So kudos on planning ahead.
| Lunaliceazreal chapter 41 . 5/14
Wow every chapter you wrote is beautiful intriguing and simply amazing keep up the great work I can see how much effort you put writing this story!
| Black Noise47 chapter 41 . 5/11
I tend to backtrack a chapter with every update thinking I'll quickly go over it to refresh my memory but no. More often than not I end up fully rereading that chapter. Gotta say, Kyouko was acting mighty unprofessional there. Ryouko being a knowing vehicle of destiny is awesome in a scary kind of way, but if there's any deity I'd trust with that kind of shit it's Madoka.
Onto the chapter itself. You have the best quote blurbs.
I find Clarisse being (rightfully) religious hilarious.
Just... Fucking Kyubey.
And it seems precogs are all but confirmed opposition, with what looks to be that incubator backed third party with suspiciously squid-like tech. No sign of Homura yet though, and tacClarisse...
Weird they didn't assume suicide implants on DeWitt by default.
Also you should whip your betas into better shape, quite a few typos missed. I volunteer to beta if you need; slow update rate plus favorite story ever make it as good excuse as any to pore over new chapters with a microscope. Really it's either that or somehow talking you into accepting unsolicited donations.
| Guest chapter 41 . 5/11
I don't want to have to be the one the see
Is this a valid form or just a typo?
Amazing chapter, as always, btw.
| Fleija chapter 41 . 5/7
Every time, the quality never changes. Though Ryouko is becoming a bit OP, I really enjoyed how there's time for each character to shine and reflect. I had a feeling it would be a trap...but somehow even more questions are raised by the newest discovery. Who were those who aided the cultists? I had a lingering suspicion from the colony's unusual defenses and the stealth device...perhaps the squid? What I love is how it was something that we could induct from last time's display of unusual technology, but was only a guess until now, when confirmed. I do wonder where we'll head to next as we wrap up this planet's arc. Great fun, great read, looking forward to more!
| www807 chapter 8 . 5/6
I don't normally post comments but I just had to on this one. This is so far one of the most, if not the most well written fanfics i've read up until now and I hope it will continue to be so. One of the things you have done especially well is the world building, one of the most important parts of a sci-fi story. You didn't just do codex-entries and things like that but you put effort into putting all of the info in context to the story, like the movie.
| Zim the Fox chapter 41 . 5/6
I just have one critique to this chapter. The appropriate method of action was to have Nana disable Dewitt's implants and then knock him unconscious, or to have carried whatever technology necessary to disable such kind of implants and do so after knocking Dewitt out. Dewitt was a crazy cult leader, and it is not a stretch of the imagination to think he'd try to commit suicide. All in all, the only thing they shouldn't have done was talking to him.
Body augmentations have been around for a while now, including suicide implants. I think it's reasonable to assume that the MSY have had enough encounters with them to have settled on the appropriate procedure to handle such a situation, and that veterans would know better.
Other than that, this was a fantastic and thrilling chapter! I feel terrible for Ryouko.
| coregamer999 chapter 1 . 5/5
Well, after THAT ending I guess we will finally have the answer whether or not V2 Taccomps are part of the Magical Girl's Soul or whether they are independent sentient beings. If it's the latter then good by Clarisse, we will miss you ;_;
| Alicornication chapter 41 . 5/5
Holy crap. I did not expect that ending. So will Ryouko be okay after her backup? It seems that there might be humans in league with the aliens. Great chapter, looking forward to more!
| Psykoakuma chapter 41 . 5/5
Goddammit to hell! That is all. Hehe. Kidding. But shit yo!
This is seriously the most intense chapter in... well a while! And as far as questions go, they only get more, not less. I mean at this point I'm even speculating this could be an squid alien incursion into actively manipulating human agents. Or this is the work of zombie Oriko. Or maybe it really is an Incubator conspiracy against what they deem to be a greater future threat. Or this is the work of Homura's deep cover shadow ops group. Or maybe something completely different like a transcendent AI deciding to take control. "The Ryouko form is dead, insect. Are you afraid? What is it that you fear? The end of your trivial existence? When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence. I am SHODAN!"
On that tangent, is DeWitt is a shout out to Bioshock Inf? Is it a hint? I can definitely see it!
Gah! This chapter got so emotional too! It was eating me up at times and all I wanted was to give some hugs to these tortured souls! Speaking of, I wonder how Asami is going to take this. Even if Ryouko-chan is ok, this is cutting things as absolutely close as magically possible.
| Shebali chapter 41 . 5/5
So amazing. I don't know how you do it.
| tenchifew chapter 41 . 5/5
Another very interesting, and concerning, chapter.
Whoever is behind all this very probably has a Precog on their side.
| jikap chapter 41 . 5/5
Another great chapter, thank you!
| Aiur chapter 41 . 5/5
I just wanted to say, the build up in this story has been amazing. You have done a great job of developing your core characters, especially the Kyokou bits this chapter. That was also a great way for Ryokou to experience her first body loss - while performing yet another remarkable deed.
| Fimbu1vetr chapter 41 . 5/5
Oh shit! The plot thickens! Wonder how Oriko is still influencing events now. And the incubators being trolls constantly... heh. Wonder if the submarine battle will still happen loll (too tired to think)
Also the first sentence after your last line break doesnt really make sense FYI.