|Reviews for Naruto: Kitsune Sennin|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/28
I’m gonna be blunt and tell you that this first chapter was just bad all around. It was just so rough to read and the dialogue was just mashed into everything, giving no room to breath and you missed out on details and just went to one scene to the next without, as I said ‘detail’.
| gundamexia34 chapter 1 . 6/29
Okay, stop. I'm not saying to quit writing or anything like that, but you need to get an editor. Run on sentences, missed quotations, capitalization and spelling errors...I could go on. All in all, you need an editor like I said earlier.
| Penguin Thug God chapter 6 . 6/15
I’m pretty sure by saying Jiraiya’s legacy they meant as his student, even Nagato says this when he dies. Nagato mentioned that he had failed Jiraiya’s legacy while Naruto will surpass it as a student. As for Minato’s legacy obviously because Naruto is his son and his dad has a huge ass track record of success. As for name meanings, that’s quite the stretch to say someone’s related just because their name meanings are quite similar. Even after it was proven that Tsunade never moved on from Dan Kato (her lover) until later in the last war arc before Boruto. (When he was reanimated and they spoke together) Nice stretch though
| Roxie.88 chapter 21 . 6/1
can't wait to read the rewrite!
| jenuzumaki chapter 7 . 5/20
I hate Kabuto, please don’t let him live longer. And you forgot Kakashi and Kurenai, I think, at the end of the chapter. I wonder who gets Mito’s sword, if it’s Hinata then it would stay with the Uzumakis since she’s going to be Naruto’s mate.
| jenuzumaki chapter 6 . 5/20
Sorry about mentioning the age issue regarding the Uchihas, I saw your remarks in the beginning of this chapter, you already acknowledged it.
Anyway, nice family reunion in the end. Naruto got more family. I love Kinto, he’s so cute and innocent, and Fluffy!
| jenuzumaki chapter 5 . 5/20
I read your notes regarding Mikoto’s age when she died. If she was 35 during the massacre, then she was 22 when she gave birth to Itachi. Remember Itachi was 13 and Sasuke was 8 at that time. Itachi came back 5 years later after the massacre, and yes he was 18 when he met Naruto during the Tsunade mission.
| omegaderose chapter 1 . 4/19
Sannin not sennin
| Ashwathdragon chapter 21 . 4/11
why change or even rewrite?
This stoRy was good
| Kingkong101 chapter 2 . 4/7
Not creative enough
| Ryszarius chapter 1 . 4/4
Considering how many favorite's this story had, I thought I'd give it a shot despite how poorly written the stories intro blurb sounded, but damn if things didn't immediately get worse.
I couldn't get half way through the first chapter, the flow, the spelling and the grammar were so bad.
I don't know if you've improved in later chapters, but if you have, I'd suggest you rewrite the earlier chapters of your story some time, if you really want anyone to truly read it and enjoy it.
Also, if you have issues with the stuff yourself, maybe look into betting a beta reader if you haven't already done so.
| Snaketh chapter 14 . 3/31
Ok the following review is my opinion i am not trying to insult you or flame you
Ok i read most this story and recently stopped for a few reasons, while the plot for your story is great you kind of smash things togeather with very little developement its almost like you rush scenes and it makes it hard to visualize while reading. Another is that you cram so many sentences togeather without proper spacing between paragraphs, its very easy to lose your spot your reading at if you look away from screen, espically those of us who read via cell phone.
Now my issues with the actual story line is while your trying to stick to cannon while making your own alternate universe you are to sharply changing the peoples personalities, for instance with sasuke, you portray him as this self entitled brat with a god complex which is completely wrong.
Yes he is power humgry but alot of his lust for power comes from his desire for revenge which later turns into a spiral of hate he is stuck in. Never through the anime dix he think everything belonged to him due to being an uchia and having a god complex.
Now with naruto his personality is so far off the mark, I understand you wanted to mature him but naruto is a all heart and very forgiving person who is extremely loyal even to those he hardly meets. Your portraying him as this vindictive person because no one told him hinata liked him and such. Your letting him hold grudges that he would NEVER hold.
Again this is your story and i am only pointing out what i think you are doing wrong, and i wish you the best and hope you dont take this as me saying you suck, everyone has theyre own style, yours just comes off way to rushed with very little plot developement.
My suggestion to you is this, in the future as you progress the story think of how every action can be explained better amd where you want it to bring the story. Think of how every action can be interpreted and if its realistic or not. Good luck in your future chapters but i will be moving onto a new story, it really turned me off when you had naruto cut his friendship with people to me it bece to unrealistic there.
| wickedearthangel chapter 1 . 3/20
I really want to like this but your writing is really rough. The premise is lovely though and it this you can make a very successful story. Try working on your sentence structure and tenses. You sometimes repeat things in a slightly different format which makes reading your fun story very difficult. Good luck and I hope you continue to have fun and improve.
| Fanficlover2017 chapter 19 . 3/20
I do agree with what you've said. However, I do believe that this should a small harem fic, like two women paired with Naruto you've got one already how choosing an unknown uchiha oc but it is your story, write it the way you feel it, not the way others say you should. Flamers are the absolute worst, they try to bully and intimidate you into doing what they want. I really do love your story and I really loved the prank Naruto and Hinata pulled on the village, I was laughing so hard I cried. Maybe with Naruto's kitsune sage training coming up you could give home a new doujutsu that has all the strengths and abilities of the sharringan without the drawbacks/weaknesses something along the lines of kitsunegan(fox eye) or something like that, could be cool, and maybe make the remaining members of Naruto's family like his mother, Hinata, Tsunade, and his uncle kitsune's that can take on human form towards the end that would also be cool. Anyway, great story keep it up I am looking forward to seeing more!
| marquis.shax chapter 21 . 3/11
I prefer this version over the new one