|Reviews for Dove On The Cross|
| NightThinker chapter 1 . 1/7/2014
Wow i never really thought of that scene that way before, it really made me think. I love this film and the way you showed Alias' feelings, and the whole hawk and dove idea is great :)
| MK3A2 chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
You have a great foundation here, I can tell! The writing flows logically, and Elias' thought processes are nicely interwoven with actions. I would offer a few words of advice, though - make sure you pay attention to sentence structure, and be wary of trying to make things overcomplicated. Also, watch your tenses! It can be tricky, especially when writing from one character's point of view, but there a few points in your story where the tense shifts. Check capitalization rules and spelling, too - while "war" can be used as a proper noun, I am not sure you meant it in that sense.
As far as your question regarding ranks goes, Staff Sergeant is the enlisted rank E6, while Sergeant is one below at E5. Barnes is one step above Elias, O'Neil, and Warner in the hierarchy. He acts as the platoon sergeant, while the others are the squad leaders. Their ranks are actually one lower than would be expected, but this wasn't and still isn't uncommon to see.
As one last note, the comparison of Elias' death scene with Jesus on the cross is an interesting one. The scene is actually a recreation of a famous photograph taken by Art Greenspon in April 1968, depicting a soldier from A Company, 101st Airborne guiding a medical evacuation helicopter to pick up casualties near Hue, South Vietnam. Look it up on Google - it's an amazing shot. This isn't to say the visual similarities to the religious interpretation aren't valid, just that there's another reason behind it, as well!
Good luck with your writing, keep it up!