Reviews for the next generation
FanFicwriter27 chapter 4 . 10/27/2011
hello i just want to say to all of you that look at this that flagger gave me the rights to his story so you can exspect one soon although it might not be perfect becuse its will be my first but just wanted to give you guys a sneek peek.
AlphaScorpio chapter 2 . 10/26/2011
i am useing this chapter and i will answer those things the one other person said

1st:unless i was 10000000000000% sure they sucked, i would never ever ever say they suck, i actuly thought this was awesome and i wish he didint have to end his project like so many others

2nd:yes i am lazy, i have been trying to fix the fucking dam thing for 3 fucking days. i cant ask any one i know in real life, beside y'all that would take me seriously, this is like a secret.

and if there is a 3rd dam reason is that i dont care if you read it, i just do it to pass the time, respect my different mine. just like everything in this world, judgementle. fuck it, i shall continue what i want, without taking notice of my fuck ups. good day to you sir. and sorry if this sucks. long rambling haha, stay positive. unlike me. i gotta shut up. ok im
BlackBolts chapter 4 . 10/26/2011
JS, are you REALLY saying this guy sucks? Dude. What you say to other people tells lots about yourself. Also, Im most likely going to stop reading your story JS, unless you get off your lazy rump and proofread it. Flagger. Sorry the story didn't work out. Hope you find new ideas here or elsewhere.
AlphaScorpio chapter 4 . 10/26/2011
sucka, i might have to steal this forr part 3 of my story...oops, i gave a spoiler of the futurem oh well, and you suck, you had a great idea, and you abandoned it like a sick animal, i will have aeris castrate you and if you dont know it, i think its when a males balls are cut off, got it from an old book
BlackBolts chapter 3 . 10/16/2011
You have the right... "Idea"... I guess... But these need to be way longer. These are like the dialog for one of the Comics on the site. This is the second shortest FanFic I have ever seen. And this isn't really a FanFic. It's like just a Comic without the pictures. You REALLY need to put more work into this. I waited a week for this? Then again... I didn't really "Wait" for this, sense you put next to no effort into this. And Unskilled FanFic writer could come up with this, Type it all out, and Edit it in like 20 minuets. Put more work into this, Please. And If you don't... Your loosing a reviewer...
BlackBolts chapter 2 . 10/3/2011
This is a great concept, as Minty said. But it takes you this long to write a short, not very detailed chapter? You need to step up your writing, how do i say it... Habits? You need to make the chapters MUCH longer. The time it takes is not a problem right now, its just the quality of the work. With working form experience, Minty is now one of the best VGC Fanfic writers, and I bet he learned from practice. Just get better quality work checked off your list first, then we can get a whole new speech on how you shouldn't be spending to much time, Yes, I know people do have personal lives, But this amount of work takes at max, an hour. Great story, Just needs to get better.

XanderN AKA The Chaos Angel.
ThatGuyYouWishYouKnew chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
? so far you've come up with nothing but a short chapter that only tells the reader that they are 10 years older...thats it?
LuxUmbra2012 chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
To take a step were no man/woman has ever gone... To bravely venture to a new land... Kudos, chum. I agree with MadMatt. You should detail things and make the story more elaborate and you can bet that I'll be waiting for the next one. If you need a hand, I can help out.

MintyFishbowl chapter 1 . 9/25/2011
This is a very interesting concept. No one here has really touched the idea of Leo and Aeris being married and having children, so it looks like you're the first one with the balls to try it out.

Here's the two things you should work on...

1: Slow down on PoV changes. I'm not a PoV changing writer, but it feels as though you rush through all of the PoVs. Perhaps it's just the fact that this is a short chapter, but putting five different Point of View changes into a five hundred word chapter isn't really a good idea.

2: More detail. This kinda goes hand-in-hand with the first criticism. Just add more elaboration to the description. Add the character's emotions, surroundings, and other details. Make us feel as though we are being SHOWN the story instead of being TOLD it.

Don't let this offend you though. This is a very interesting idea you are coming up with! I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.