Reviews for Blue Requiem
SkyLord chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
very well done! i may not be the biggest fan of 'Blue Blood Ships', but that is irrelavent. you managed to capture the pain of a Dragon losing her Rider (although this prob thakes place after She goes thru mental shock) in so many words
Guardian Sage chapter 1 . 8/8/2013
While the sonnet doesn't follow the story line very well, the sonnet its self is not bad.
elete13 chapter 1 . 5/31/2012
Well despite the fact that you killed one of my favorite charactrrs of all time this was pretty good. Each word was well thought out and you gave hints of a deeper meaning to her loss... great work!
Spidermaster chapter 1 . 10/24/2011
Blue-Blood shipping ftw bro. There were a couple of lines there where it felt like you were sacrificing the sincerity of Saphira's feelings, for a rhyme. The number one rule of all forms of poetry, is to put what your trying to express, before concerns with formatting. This has some pretty deep potencial I must say.
Unique .F chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
lords above...If I hadnt been listening to a cheery song right now...then I would have broken down and sobbed my heart out.
Heartless demon wolf chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
Are you KIDDING me, this story is amazing bro, I like how you made Saphira very depessed to the vedge of sucided (damn can't spell) that just gave me an idea just now...ok, the dragon pair (Eragon and Saphira) are together romancetly but then get into a fight and almost break it off, Eragon in his rage and seeing a shooting star wish's that his love could feel the pain that he felt, just then Envy appers and tells Eragon that his wish has been granted, making Saphira almost fall for every male that she sees but each time she does a phyiscal pain is stabbed deep into her heart, to much and it will kill her, can Eragon undo his wish and make a deal with Envy that will save his love?

Tell me how you like it, and I love thia poem bro. Keep it up.
olihmajor chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
Urgh, that was sad! But it was good. I have noticed that rhyming poems, often, sound childish and unoriginal (on this site, anyway). You can still make it rhyme while keeping the sad tone throughout.

[Arya and others were my rivals for being your one true blue love.]

It sounds a bit long, and doesn't flow that well. It is a good introductory sentence to lead into the longer section you have there, but maybe build it up more.

When you said you were going to write ExS, I never expected a poem... But okay. I enjoyed reading it!
Commentaholic - Alpha 02 chapter 1 . 9/27/2011
To be honest, it could be better.

The rhythm was a bit off and the language was not something that I would imagine saying, such as "tear off your face".

Some of the rhymes seemed forced and some were repetitive.

'living' with 'shivering?' I shudder to think of the world where that rhymes with rhythm being taken into account.

But I digress...

The concept of Saphira being left behind when Eragon perishes is a sobering one (though I have seen it several times), and, despite the wording and phrasing issues that I mentioned, you did capture it well, though, again, it could have been better.

A confusing line, I thought, was "My Rider, killed by his endless fire." At first, I believed that you were suggesting that Eragon killed himself by his own fire spell. Logic denied this being the case, so I was left to assume that it was Shruikan, but it was still a tad confusing.

-C-
Blu123 chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
Well, beautiful, as always, but sad. very sad. I may be desensitized to this sort of thing a bit, but it was still sad. Great work my friend.