|Reviews for Hogwarts|
| Rumplestiltskin Mr. Gold chapter 1 . 3/10/2012
The Chronicles of Hogwarts
1. I am the spirit of Amadeus Melfric. Through my actions, I have saved this cursed school, though my own curse is to forever remain in the shadows. My story is carved into the very soul of Hogwarts and will only be revealed to those dedicated enough to discover it.
| Blessed By The Goddess chapter 1 . 11/30/2007
That cannot be it. There has to be more.
| Kirokokori chapter 1 . 2/2/2006
I'm sorry, but this was...bad. Bad year? That's just...yeah. The idea was interesting, but you did a lot of things wrong. Why don't you try again, but get someone to read it before you submit it this time.
| tish chapter 1 . 6/20/2005
i love it so far! please continue.
| annie chapter 1 . 10/28/2003
hey gr8 story...do some ;s the kind of story i have been wantted to read! so plz do some more!
| brady2003us chapter 1 . 11/10/2002
keep going it is really good, i never would have
thought about this, but please keep going
| LorneStar chapter 1 . 10/24/2002
er...that was ood*hugs harry then runs*
| Emma Malfoy chapter 1 . 9/2/2002
OK, I fell like reading all your stories today, and reviewing them, LoL. Now, I like the idea a lot, but, why wouldn't anyone tell Harry that Voldie had taken over Hogwarts, like Ron or Hermione, unless they didn't know. Now, please dont mistake this for flaming, but as constructive critisim, add some more description to your stories, I mean the plots are great, but add some details, like the scenery or the weather, or even maybe some Harry thoughts, just to lengthen the chapters, and to give the reader a sense of actually being there with the characters, not that they are sitting in front of their computers reading a story. And try to work on getting the characters into their characters. I don't think that Harry woud just do nothing when he saw Voldie sitting in Dumbledore's seat. I believe that he would freak and start chucking curses here and there. But, thats just me.
Now, please don't think I am flaming you, caus i m defenitley not. I like your plot ideas, but what I am saying is, to progress yourself in authoring, take what i say into consideration. It is like a songwriter writing a wonderful title, but the song is only a few lines repeated over and over again.
Once again, I swear I am not flaming you, I just thought that my tips could help you in your writing.
PS. Sorry about sounding like an elementary school teacher! LoL
| Beta-chan chapter 1 . 8/31/2002
There are many, many problems with this story. Starting with the more petty problems, the list is as follows:
1. It's Platform 9 3/4 not "platform 9/3"
2. A new student is, by definition, a first year student, unless they are transferring or starting a few years ahead. There is no need to reiterate that fact.
3. There are a few places in this story where punctuation is missing, and other places where an additional word would be appropriate. Otherwise, the grammar, though very simplistic, is correct.
4. The story has no unity. There is no flow between the sentences, and the paragraphs seem rather arbitrarily formed collections of sentences.
5. The plot is rather lacking. The information given in this story boils down to: Harry, two first year students, and Slytherin House arrive at Hogwarts only to discover that Voldemort and the Death Eaters are the only ones there. That hardly amounts to anything beyond what is given in the title. Although the premise has potential, the actual writing of this story reads more like a rough outline.
My suggestion for this story, and, to be quite frank, all of your other stories, is to take a creative writing course, rewrite all of the stories with more attention to detail and plot development, and get a prereader to check your work before reposting the stories. I am not being mean, nor am I flaming you. I doing the best I can to offer you some constructive criticism that I hope you will take to heart in the writing of all your stories.
| Kirinki chapter 1 . 4/25/2002
youve uploaded this twice- remove one or you could be in trouble :)
| Yuki6 chapter 1 . 4/25/2002
o.o;; um...it seems a LOT like an outline...so you might want to add a LOT of description etc etc.
lol i dont want to be flaming but...
This would not by a good year thought Harry clutching his scar.
well if this murderer was sitting in your principal's seat i doubt you say that...*blink*
| Miz Delirium chapter 1 . 4/25/2002
To be honest I was expecting this to be sort of lame, but I like it alot! Write some more, its really cool and creepy. One suggestion though: You might want to add some more detail to make this part fuller. It seemed like rather like an outline.
| litttleonee chapter 1 . 4/25/2002
OHHHH! I LIKE IT SOO FAR! keep goin, it could get interesting! gr8 plot!