Reviews for Rise to Power (discontinued)
Mo Eazy chapter 4 . 4/13/2012
Exceptionally well written piece of work here. It feels like I'm reading a extended cut of DA2. Things like the journey through the Marches with Flemeth or the extended conversations between Varric and Cassandra are especially of note. Despite this being fanfiction I like it when people add their own ideas to their stories, rather than copy/paste scene for scene. If I wanted to experience DA2 again, I'd go play the real thing.

That said, be careful with copy/pasting dialogue, if you do it too much it looks lazy and its boring to read if you've played the game a few times. More than once I've read say, a Mass Effect fic and had to use the mouse wheel to scroll though scenes I've actually played in-game many times.

So don't be afraid to put your own spin on things. The best fanfiction I've found is usually familiar but unique in its own way. It also displays creativity and a willingness to explore new areas. I'm fairly certain I could turn one of my DA2 playthroughs into a decent story, but why would I want bore people with something they've already played through?

I probably got a bit redundant there but I guess the message is clear now. I also enjoy those quotes at the top of each chapter, I'm a sucker for those bits of dialogue that just scream character.

Only things that kinda bugged me so far was that Ser Jory came across as a bit bi-polar. Granted he was wounded and poisoned but he went from "Apostate! GTFO!" to "Desperate times call for desperate measures" entirely too quickly. It was unnatural in the game too. Maybe it was just poor dialogue on Bioware's part but that little problem was solved a little too quickly I think. Maybe if they'd been truly forced, interrupted by the Darkspawn attack that followed where they had no choice but to fight together.

Also, Aveline's description of her husband's Templar morals doesn't match up with his reaction to Bethany. Aveline paints him as a much more open-minded fellow but he went looking for a fight as soon as he identified Bethany. He'd have to have encountered Apostates before so he'd know that not all of them dive head first into Blood Magic at the first opportunity.

Other than that, quite happy with this new fic. M!Hawke/Isabella needs more love on this site. _
spectre4hire chapter 4 . 3/28/2012
Glad to see an update for this story. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite Dragon Age stories on this site.

This chapter was wonderfully written. You do an excellent job in writing the characters. I can't wait until the others are introduced as well especially Varric and Isabela.

Looking forward to the next update.

Thanks for sharing,

Firewolf99 chapter 4 . 3/28/2012
Finally, an update! Glad to see this story is still going. Looking forward to he next chapter!
obsydiandreams chapter 3 . 1/17/2012

wow. I... I am impressed. I'm impressed beyond what I expected. Oh the power of words... and how right you are. Words are more powerful weapons than any bladed thing... they can break hearts, start wars, or whatever.

Damn. And that story of yours in there... how hard was that to write? I always wonder this about writers... how hard is it to get those words out... knowing how terrible they are...

This is amazing, my friend. I know I've complimented your stories before, but this is just beyond anything... you have so much talent.

You weren't kidding when you told me this chapter wasn't uplifting... but its so powerful that that doesn't matter... i wish i had your talent with words so i could tell you properly what i think about this. ;)

...ironically timed though. and you know that. the bits about love... damn.

brilliant, Joe. can't wait for more.

spectre4hire chapter 3 . 1/16/2012
Hey glad to see that this story hasn't been forgotten.

This was well written and I enjoyed the glimpse into the Hawkes traveling with Flemeth.

I'm very much looking forward to how you continue to handle this story and its characters.

Well done,

Until the next chapter,

Adams7 chapter 2 . 1/5/2012
I got to say, I like this novelization, makes me want to do my own (Although I doubt that will happen, I've already planned to do too many large stories as it is, I don't need to add to the pile)

I am glad that there won't be any character bashing in this. Too

many stories on here are biased against one character or another (Especially Sebastian). Still, don't be afraid to make fun of some of the characters once in a while, just make sure you're nice about it and you should be fine.

I love the M!Hawke/Isabela paring though personally, I've always preferred Mage Hawke over the other classes, probably because I love Carver and find Bethany to be a Mary-Sue.

Update soon please!
LuxDragon chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
Alright, I love the prologue. A fantastic mix of drama (The truth) and comedy (Varric's exaggerations).

Considering how well it's writtin, you've made everything flow very nicely. I'll be following this with great interest.

And I'm a Hawke/Isabella fan myself, so thanks.
Vzs chapter 2 . 12/4/2011
Wow, so far, a great novelization, that's something not very common in this site. There's proper use of grammar and it seems you're setting up future storylines. Good job. I hope you continue writing it, I feel this could become a really epic fic.

So what are the events of DA: Origins, who's the Hero of Ferelden?

Keep it up, this has a lot of potential.
t3ej4y chapter 2 . 11/25/2011
I'm hooked, eagerly awaiting the next installment!
Fainmaca chapter 2 . 11/12/2011
Love it! I especially like the switching between Varric and the story plot. Makes for a good way of implementing scene changes and gives a refreshing break from the tension the Hawkes are undergoing.

Keep it up!
Andrigno chapter 2 . 11/3/2011
a great awesome tale and tribulations of the characters of DA2,great detail, great story, i will wait eagerly for many many chapters to come
Bradley chapter 1 . 10/26/2011
Okay, I haven't yet gotten the time to read this whole chapter, but I just had to comment and say excellent work so far! I've read a lot of DA fanfics, but this gave me a "striking2 feeling. Anyway, I should probably read the whole before giving my review, but honestly, it looks damn impressive from what I've read. Keep it up!
obsydiandreams chapter 2 . 10/25/2011
So. I knew you could write fun happy silly things really well. I'm absolutely blown away by your drama. My friend, this is amazing. Just the amount of detail in this story so far is awesome. I like the little bit of fillig in that you've done here... it flows well and fits with the game.

My heart broke for Avaline and for Leandra when their respective menfolk died... you have this gorgeous mix of brutal honest realism and vivid description that just cuts to the heart of whatever you're writing. and for a death scene... that is heart wrenching.

you have the heart of a poet, my friend. And i don't mean that in a bad way.

sorry it took me so long to review. this was one hell of a full chapter and i ended up rereading it ... specially since i had to pause several times to clear my vision the first time through.

i've probably missed so many things that i want to say. next time i think i'l start the review when i start the chapter. :D lol. and then you'll have a novel to read too.

The ONLY thing though, is... do you have a beta? There were a bunch of little grammatical and spelling errors that threw me off...

Either way... this is a brilliant story and dear lord is it gonna add so much to this game. I wish that BioWare would hire people like you to fill in and write their stories.

3 and can't wait for the next one.
Badger chapter 2 . 10/23/2011
Greatly enjoy your writing, though I hope you'll also be delving into things not directly covered in the game. Straight interpretations of the game tend to be dull no matter how good the writing is.

One thing though, Aveline said she was stationed with Loghain, but her dialogue in act 3 seemed to indicate she was with the king. It's a very minor detail though.
Linkmarth chapter 2 . 10/21/2011
loved Varric in this chapter, excellent job, and good portrayal of the epilogue, update soon!
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