|Reviews for Nightfall|
| Gazamidori chapter 111 . 3/25
Sorry that this one took a little longer. However, not much I can change in my stance. Your grammar, syntax, and diction has increased tremendously! However, one specific thing I have noticed is your inappropriate use of lecherous. Lecherous is a very malicious word and has a strong negative connotation. Kabuki had a lecherous façade during the chin in exams helping team 7. He was smiling and putting off a positive and friendly appearance but was actually being dubious and tricking them. It's not meant to mean like a playful abd silly smile like you used in describing jiraya. Anyways, loving the story, please keep up the good work, although it's not like you can actually do so as you have already finished the next chapters.
Contact my account under the same name if any questions comments or concerns.
| Guest chapter 148 . 3/25
| Guest chapter 148 . 3/22
You still haven't explained to us how Naruto got his Rinnegan I understad Nagato's is trasplanted from Madara but how did Naruto got his?
| hampy1 chapter 36 . 3/22
| Gazamidori chapter 74 . 3/16
Hey, story is still going strong at the halfway mark! Awesome job. Still tons of missus get of words, misspellings, or grammatical inconsistencies; but I can forgive that as I do see you getting better and better as i read.
| Death's Cold Touch chapter 148 . 3/16
| kamui5 chapter 28 . 3/15
Fantastic chapter, love that itachi is helping Naruto grow and just being a great friend. hopefully they can stop the new threat. Gotta love Jiraiya :D wonder if naruto will tell Itachi about the masked man.
| Cookie Montser chapter 2 . 3/14
Wow; it took him a single paragraph to get over the death of his adoptive family. Naruto's one cold guy.
| narugokuichigo6 chapter 57 . 3/7
I just started reading and am on chap.57 and I can tell u have a damn f****** gift the story up to now is awesome and unique and the pairing is just perfect for a starter couple u r awesome sorry never look at ur bio so don't know whethe girl or boy but keep up the great work
| Gazamidori chapter 34 . 3/7
34 chapters in, quite the commitment on my part. So I compliment your amazing story. Some constructive criticism for your story I do have. Although you have an amazing story here, and believe me the ideas are superb, you lack any sort of proofing. I believe this story is done, however I recommenend that you release a remastered version. There are many grammar mistakes and many obvious misusage of verbs. It's almost as if English was a second language and you hadn't learned it quite right. However, I mean this not as insult to you, but rather an observation. I love this story, why else would I read it? So please, just take moments to proof read your. It will only benefit you, even beyond story writing, as proof reading is prudent to success in schooling and in any advanced employment. My account is gazamidori if you wish to message me.
| Guest chapter 56 . 3/5
This may be addressed later on, but I've only just read this chapter. Right at the end Kakashi suggests they should have tried to capture him alive and Naruto says there's no point because he's too loyal and won't tell them anything about the organization. . . what about the human path Naruto's been using half the story? Surely he could have used that to find out more about them.
I do actually enjoy this story, this part here just makes no sense to me.
| wolf chapter 148 . 3/2
great story wondering if he gonna combine his elemental clock with his fox clock since you had him say he was faster than raikage before he even got his kyubbi form. would also love see another seen with him controlling multiple elements XD gj so far
| A1NoSauce chapter 127 . 3/4
That awkward moment when you made Itachi say "Obito" even though they don't even know who's behind the mask yet in the story lol
| lewmax82 chapter 141 . 3/2
I was going to save my review until after I'd read everything...but I couldn't resist leaving a short review at this time.
Now I must admit that this is truly a legendary depiction...but you've made Naruto into a real pussy with Akimi. She has some skill yes, but you make Naruto almost look at her like she's a god to be feared and reverenced.
She shows up when she's not needed and ruins the story. I mean, she couldn't take on the akatsuki, heck she couldn't take on Fuu, but suddenly you make her want to take on Madara? And then curses Naruto for letting them go? That makes no sense. If Naruto couldn't stop them from leaving, then how does she have the right to question him?
The next thing is the random short lemons throughout the story. It doesn't flow with the story at all. I know that you can write it better because of the way that you write Konan and Nagato's interactions. To suddenly make Naruto into this bunny hugging weakling just because she's around is totally gross.
"Then we will have to make them pay for that little slip up wont we."? Are you serious? Even you know that at her stage of development, that there's no way that she could even think of herself as being powerful enough to take on Madara. Even if Naruto was protecting her, she would be dead in seconds. You wrote this story with the main characters being as powerful as in the actual series, so now pretending that she can even think of taking on Madara shows disrespect to Kishimoto as the writer/creator, and to Madara. YOU KNOW WHO MADARA IS. I don't have to tell you.
That being said, great story!
| SeverlyLate chapter 15 . 2/27
The way they yell (sic!) those jitsus is really, really annoying...