Reviews for Natural and Unnatural Love
MisakiXRevive chapter 1 . 4/12
First of all; you let Ichigo talk way to much to the readers. Who would actually start explaining things to other people in their own inner monologue? Granted, he could be seriously weird like this but then I want to see some in story moment where he starts talking to himself or something- make it a plot point. Second, all that "ok" is really annoying. Not only is it an abbreviation of "okay" which is bad enough in and itself but you put it into your story WAY too often. Also introducing yourself in another language you know the rest won't understand is plainly rude. He's basically screaming "I don't care that nobody understands me, why should I?" and "Look how great I am!" at the same time. I can say one thing; that's not hot or cool, it's annoying and infantile. Also, with his colouration there is no way he'd pass as a human. Not to mention the fact that most people wouldn't think he is attractive simply because they're still stuck on the fact that he looks like he has to go to a hospital. Another thing that stops me from enjoying the story is the instant attraction thing most authors have going on. What's with that? I can only think of the characters as shallow. Rather than "aww", it makes me go "ugh". Not to mention the fact that's it's aggravating to see that none of them talks in a pleasant manner. Slang is fine and all but just for characters who actually use slang. In Bleach it would be basically no one. And even if all your characters use slang (the horror), the teacher really shouldn't be. I actually didn't manage to read through the whole chapter but I'll stop now regardless.
PS: This blushing and smirking and sniping interaction that most authors seem somehow fond of CAN work. It doesn't do so automatically though. Their conversations seem pretty bland until now, giving me another case of... let's just call it "ugh" again, reading it.
... Not to mention your title. What's the deal with "unnatural" love. Unless it has a really good in-story explanation, it makes you sound pretty narrow-minded.
Lunawolf7 chapter 10 . 12/12/2015
UPDATE PLEASSSSE
ortiza388 chapter 10 . 5/30/2015
Please continue with this story its really good.
Guest chapter 10 . 2/22/2015
GEEZE
I FOUND THIS
ITS 12:34
I WANT MORE
seriously. The writing is skillfull and detailed. The story is capturing and unique. I normally hate fics that arnt the normall storyline, but im addoring this!
Please please continue! I doubt you will but it would be a dream come true if you did.
Victorica7602 chapter 10 . 2/17/2015
Please Continue.
reicheruchan chapter 10 . 1/11/2015
Love it love it!
Hottstuff JK chapter 3 . 4/27/2014
Are you learning Romania or is it your natural language
Hottstuff JK chapter 2 . 4/27/2014
How did shiro know where ichigo lives
oh and I am also a hard core fan 1224 pictures of ichigo and shiro can you say obsessed or what
Hottstuff JK chapter 1 . 4/27/2014
When I was reading this i was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe
Kiz chapter 10 . 4/10/2014
Man this is hell good! Why'd ya stop updating for :c
Moon's last stand chapter 10 . 2/2/2014
thats so cute.
OptionalPrincess chapter 10 . 1/31/2014
this is awesome pwease do more :3
RaeSoul chapter 2 . 1/8/2014
Ninja in an orange jumpsuit...NARUTO! xD lol had to comment on that.
BOOGEY-MANN-HEART-ICHI chapter 10 . 12/15/2013
I can understand your busyness and I appreciate your awesome writing, but I've been waiting for the next update for a long time and it's been wearing on my patience. I really want to see what happens to Ichigo and Shiro, and I haven't gotten to find out because you haven't continued. I know your working and I'm sorry I sound like a prissy bitch but your story is super good and I can't wait to continue to read it. Sorry again. Hope you update soon.
sugarcadet chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
For my comment on chapter 10 its on wattpad
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