Reviews for Hollow End
crystalblue19 chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
That was great. :3
Midori12 chapter 1 . 10/8/2011
Wow, what a twist ending! I wasn't expecting that, lol.

I enjoyed this! I actually like FearowShipping a little. :D

chandelure chapter 1 . 10/4/2011

That was pretty horrific. Well done!

The description was very nice, and I think that the pairing is actually really sweet, even done like this. I've never thought of Bill/Blue before, but I like it~ And the romance was there, so props for that.

The only thing I want to point out is the tiny glitches in the grammar. Nothing terrible, just little blips such as periods and all that good stuff. I think there were a couple spelling errors but nothing serious, so most of the issues were within the grammar, which is better than having a bad plot (which you didn't~)

Wonderful job~!

JX Valentine chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Overall, I thought this was pretty awesome. It started off cute with the characters pretty in-character. On top of that, you wrote in just the right amount of romance so that it was adorable to watch their interactions and so that it doesn't feel forced at all, if that makes sense. (In other words, you don't make the romance feel forced.) Then, the ending was pretty effective. The entire fic was building up towards a cutesy end by reassuring us that everything in the park was fake, and then all of a sudden, you end it like a creepypasta. Because of that, I got chills, and I'd like to think this is a pretty awesome way to represent Halloween. (You've got the cutesy, kid-friendly bits, but at the end, you give it a twist that reminds us that, yeah, Halloween's all about the horror.)

If there's only two things I can say in terms of crit, one of them is the fact that I'm having trouble believing Bill would work on this project. Besides the fact that he's usually only interested in Pokémon-related tech, it's a little hard to buy that he didn't know/approve all of the programming that went into the creation of the park. That and it almost seems like it's mentioned off-hand, so it feels like you could take that fact out and still have the same story.

Besides that, as a nitpick, "mon" is always in lowercase. It's just because that part stands for "monster," so... yeah. There's also a few other grammatical nitpicks here and there, but really, that's the one I wanted to point out the most because you write a lot of fic in this fandom.

Beyond that, it was a thoroughly enjoyable read, and I wish you luck on that contest!