Reviews for He has finally come
xX Shining Diamond Xx chapter 1 . 7/11/2013

-Dis story's #1 fan \( ยท )/
gokkylegend chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
Would you continue this story, I really like the story :D
Specialshipper 4ever and ever chapter 1 . 4/23/2012
HI! Write faster ! I want more fluffy! More fighting!
Specialshipper 4ever and ever chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
I absolutely love it so cute! 2 guys fighting over one girl ! So adorable! Please write faster!
SpecialPikachu chapter 1 . 9/30/2011
This story is interesting, I like it.

I hope you'll continue to write, I'm sure your grammar & spelling will be improved as the time progress
Ghingahn chapter 1 . 9/30/2011
You really don't know how to write, do you? There's grammatical errors, no subject-verb agreement, all of the tenses are messed up, and you don't seem to understand the English language very well at all. You also spelled the Pokemon's and region's names incorrectly.

Read your story out loud, keeping all of the spelling and grammar errors in. Doesn't make sense, does it? I thought not. However, this story can still be saved, if you know a really great editor and if you can convince him or her to help you.

In conclusion, try paying attention in English class next time. It's easier on both the readers and yourself. If your school or somewhere has extra writing lessons that you can attend, I really recommend that you do so.

Keep writing, and I do hope that you get better.
Arcane1ManaX chapter 1 . 9/30/2011
What is this?

There is a certain amount of writing skill expected here, and you seemed to have fallen off of the school bus in fourth grade. There are punctuation errors everywhere, grammatical errors abound, and a broken plot. Not to mention this seems like it was written in a couple of hours.

Didn't you look at what you were writing? Or did you just smash you face against the keyboard?

[New guy? Make Jealousy?] What?

The first line, and already my eyes were bleeding.

[He has finally came]

My dear, I believe you meant, "He has finally come."

Neither of them seem like suitable titles.

I've spent more time here than it was worth, but please, go back and fix this. Do yourself a favor, and nip this in the bud next time by using spell check and a thesaurus.