Reviews for The Red Serpent
C.J Todd chapter 3 . 7/21/2013
I know this was just practice but it was a very good concept. I feel that it really could of been worked into a longer more fleshed out story. All in all though it was good.
Nickirem.Tetsuya.Zoldyck chapter 3 . 2/22/2013
Hey. Can I kill u? Pls do write a sequel. Or else... - giggles darkly -
Chocolatekat chapter 3 . 6/3/2012
how could anyone hate that awesome fullyness. what i want to know is how you think that is an end? come one, does he life or what? do they safe Eve town? grrrr

Anyways lovely story thank you for writing and sharing.
flygon3300 chapter 3 . 3/3/2012
they were reunited yay! :D
IchiakiI chapter 3 . 1/8/2012
TT this was sooooo cyuteee! TTTTTTTTTT guhdblhgfdbhbfa

I NEEDDD MOREEE! BTW

you say u love Kingdom hearts, No. 6, and ao no exorcist...

will you marry me?

LOLOL JK!

but seriouslyyyyy this is amazinngggg!

chapter 2 almost made me die and the last child was like TT and how could he like keep going! that is sooo saddd! LOL

bghjvnbfjbgbdlla

sooo yeah! sorry i totally raped this review but i had toooo! HAD TOOO! oh you is so tiny! fhsdbhjbad ok im leaving! XDD
Ern Estine 13624 chapter 3 . 12/26/2011
This is good. Poor Shion:D
Ko-Sensei chapter 3 . 12/11/2011
Wow... I started reading this because it was on metiko's reading favorites. but... that was sad. If this was your first, then good job- although Shion and Nezumi seemed a little out of character- but it was good, I suppose. i liked it enough to review :)
H.Sung-eun chapter 3 . 11/1/2011
YAY. Finally together.

Good ending.

God, I'm c-crying! *sobbed*
H.Sung-eun chapter 2 . 11/1/2011
Honestly, I really like this version of Sion.

AND THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME!
H.Sung-eun chapter 1 . 11/1/2011
Oh, lord.

This is really interesting.

What a great story!
AirenLag chapter 3 . 10/11/2011
I really liked your story this kind of future is kind of sad, for both of them, being on their own, alone, and thinking the other was dead... really sad u.u

anyway good job!
hanabimonai chapter 3 . 10/11/2011
As others said before me, this was good practice. And I 3 fluff. :)

In case you're looking for feedback, I didn't think Shion gave enough detail for Nezumi to remember the pheasant hunting and say "Oh, that time." There was no date and no location given, after all, and it seems likely that if Nezumi took them out for practice once, he might have taken them out on other occasions as well. Also, I'm not sure myself, but isn't it possible a gun shot above the heart could pierce (and so deflate) a lung?

Some minor grammar quibbles: "he had seen" rather than "he seen," and "should have" instead of "should of."

This was some decent practice writing. I'm curious how Nezumi's going to cure his disease though. Sounds like he just made it up to keep Shion awake... but I'll assume it's the healing power of love. ;)
0blivionkeeper chapter 3 . 10/10/2011
This was really good, Alpha! *Favorites*

Oh, and stop telling people not to kill you, peoplez luv da fluff :D Therefore, you shall not sleep six feet under _
Boo I scare you chapter 3 . 10/9/2011
Wow that was great . haha almost made me cry in the end. But once I found out Shion wasnt gunna die I'm like yay! Haha, for practice it wasnt bad . lol no ones gunna kill u haha. At the ending it was a bit unrealistic how Shion just accepted it all but it was great over all .
Twisted Hours chapter 3 . 10/9/2011
Asdfgh! WooHoo, update! But you ended it. D; Stop torturing your twin. ;-; T'was fluffy, I liked it. - I'm going to bully you into making more No.6 fanfics, just so you know. ;D Anyways, well done. :3
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