|Reviews for Ash Upton's European Vacation|
| TMI Fairy chapter 6 . 11/30/2015
I got some using to the format of the phone calls at the beginning.
But I enjoyed this story. Quite deep, I'd say.
Although I'd say that "I am the problem, go and get a life without me" is used by both sexes.
| KyraVox chapter 6 . 10/5/2012
I read this on Napalm Luck, and I have to say I love it. Really, I do.
I just wish it hadn't been rendered AU by The Fence Scene... but let's be honest, who would have predicted _that_? Still, awesome.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
HI - just started reading the misfile Comic - just wanted to let you know I enjoyed and appreciated your story , really rang true with the tone of the comic and the characters.
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/16/2012
Lovely story. Very in-character.
You could easily add more though. :)
| Igor of Xten chapter 6 . 11/3/2011
I can't help but be disappointed that you have ended this prematurely. You've built up a good baseline for Ash's problem and hinted at Emily's possible answers without resolving them.
I find myself torn between being a reader who wants a resolution and a writer who can see a value to a dramatic ending. There are too many unresolved threads in the storyline for it to be called a dramatic ending: is there any significance to the moving truck at the end? Was the only purpose of the European vacation to place Ash in an LGBT situation?
You leave your reader in a situation where Emily is opening up and Ash is closing up, yet with a hinted future where they will get deeper into into this situation, by sharing at college, rather than out of it.
This reads as a teaser or intoroduction to a larger and more complex story - will we see it from you? I suspect that there might be other forces at play that might be making you finish here. Moving away from Misfile, fan fiction or writing in general? I sincerely hope not - you've shown great skill and talent that makes me want to read more of your work.
I hope we see it! Good in your endeavours, wherever they lie!
| Igor of Xten chapter 5 . 11/3/2011
You've nicely balanced the problem of the length of the chapters. Because of their nature, they need to be pretty much "stand-alone" pieces because your readers get them in dribs and drabs as they get written. This makes them akin to the bottle episodes you might see in a TV series - episodes that don't have much to the overall flow of the series arc.
In your case, although each one can be read by someone who knows Misfile and be perfectly understandable (ie, it works as a stand-alone) each chapter builds on the last so that the it has larger arcs that are developing nicely: Ash's sexual crisis, Em's maturity/relatonship crisis, and now Ash's get-back-to-a-boy ongoing problem.
This is great fan fiction in that it brings out issues in the original, highlights them and takes them a step further.
| Igor of Xten chapter 4 . 11/3/2011
Once again you've surprised me with the twist that Ash's problem turns from worrying about guys hitting on her to an introspection into her own problem with Em.
Pleasantly surprised - the story has real depth in that there are multiple strings: Emily's having a crisis at the same time, the European vacation, the relationship fu...
I thought that Ash was a little too perceptive of emotions as a guy with the ten-second-timeout thing but it didn't kill the characterisation for me. I absolutely hate character rape, where a character does something totally out of character (the classic is Darth Vader showing a cuddly-wuddly side!), but in this case, it is just a minor difference of interpretation of the character. You haven't had Ash say or do anything that he/she would have done in the original comic.
| Igor of Xten chapter 3 . 11/2/2011
Now THAT was a pretty awesome piece of flashfic! The turnaround of her dilemma took me entirely by surprise and, yeah, its something I've seldom considered.
Great work on that one! I wonder if these will all be "bottle episodes" or if the storyline - its building up well so far!
| Igor of Xten chapter 2 . 11/2/2011
I rememember reading this chapter. I'm big on Ash not giving in to girldom too easily - what makes the storyline special is that he is resisting it, if he folded in a week and started taking ballet lessons there would be no story!
Again, technically well written. Again, feel-good rather than heart-pumping. You've got a good set-up
| Igor of Xten chapter 1 . 10/30/2011
Started reading this on the Napalm Forum ages ago - enjoyed it then, just as I have now. I never finished it though - I need to slow down though so I'm going to get through it this time.
Its well written - you obviously know how to use the tools of the trade - the dialogue rings true to the canon characters and you've set up an interesting premise with an international holiday. I'll be interested to see what you do with it. At the moment it is very "feelgood" - not in itself a bad thing.