|Reviews for Digimon Frontier: Chaos Rising|
| Guest chapter 81 . 10/11
I can't believe Ranamon went diva on them XD.
| visitor chapter 1 . 5/20
This fanfiction is one of the most popular in the digimon section and its not hard to see why. Even after so long it's still an enjoyable reading.
| A Fawkes Named Kurama chapter 1 . 8/22/2018
Saw this while browsing, not gonna read cause I don't like Digimon, but the 100 & 1,000,000, 10/10 stars
| Esploratore chapter 1 . 6/16/2018
1.000.000 words exactly and 100 chapters? Wow, that's the precision medal!
| Guest chapter 24 . 3/14/2018
takuya could have won if zoe hadn't interfered
| TakumiLover2K18 chapter 100 . 2/12/2018
This was by far the best story ever! I would love to read more of your stories but it seems like this is the only one, Please do more was so emotional it made me obsessed with this story that I keep coming back to read it over and over again. Keep up the good work and whereever you are I hope you are doing well Absolutely in Love with this!
| Eddyg125 chapter 100 . 12/12/2017
Thank you for the story, it was one heck of a ride.
| Guest chapter 100 . 12/12/2017
Thank you for such an amazing story my friend.
| The CL Next Door chapter 5 . 11/17/2017
I enjoy how right at the start of the chapter, you introduce a love rival to Zoe (even if she's not fully aware of it just yet).
Opposites tend to create some very interesting conflicts. You have Zoe, the good girl-next-door who uses her good-hearted nature, as well as her selfless acts to win Takuya's heart. And then you have Beautymon who uses her natural sexuality to entice Takuya. Obviously, Beautymon is attracted to Takuya sexually... even though he's only 14, so it's kinda awkward. However, i really hope that deep down, Beautymon does have feelings for Takuya as Zoe does, so that they are both fighting for the same affection instead of one fighting for feelings and the other one for his body.
I will admit, Beautymon does have a dirty mind with Takuya, which definitely catches the reader by surprise. Whetehr it's a good thing or bad thing remains to be seen, but some of the things she says, i never expect it.
That was cute how Takuya was concerned for Zoe's well being. But i commend you for not making it too intimate. It only makes sense that their relationship will continue to develop throughout the story. And having him think that he can "ressurect" Zoe with a Prince Charming kiss was a hilarious choice. Having her wake up beforehand was awesome as well. And I like how you didn't make it too slapstick and stuck with awkwardness. Their banter together was very enjoyable to read.
Now going right back to Beautymon, you hit a positive earlier with her in the begining of the chapter with Takuya. However, with her first interaction with Zoe, I believe it felt like a dud. Immeditely, Beautymon is appalled and disgusted with Zoe, even calling her ugly and. That is just plain right nasty and cruel. And she calls this to her right in front of everyone, in front of Takuya, Swiftmon, and Zoe herself. I think Takuya would've just stood up for her right there because of their friendship. But Beautymon's insults make her a very bad character, which is a shame beacuse I think she could've been someone that we love to hate. But instead, we just hate her.
I would've prefered that she acted all nice and friendly with everyone watching, but then shows her nasty side to Zoe and Zoe only, that way, only she would know her bad side, while everyone else just sees Beautymon's charade.
There is a clear misunderstanding between rivalry and being enemies. Rivals both want the same thing, and although both shall perform different methods to get what they want, there is still an underlying respect for each other, despite the many MANY clashes both would encounter.
Enemies, both want to clearly destroy each other to get what they want, no matter what. And I feel that's where your problem with Beautymon lies: she reads as Zoe's ENEMY not her RIVAL. And that relationship doesn't work once you remember that both her and Zoe are supposed to be fighting on the same side (for now).
Zoe and Beautymon both want Takuya, and they can despise each other for that. But both have to respect each other because both are fighting to save the digital world.
I can go on about that, but I don't want this review to be all negative. You definitely played Zoe's jealousy well. The whole "carrying to the briefing room" may have come off as more "romantic" than "friendly". But I'm glad that Zoe was able to smile again.
Interesting introduction of Eldestmon and Malevomon. (although it would've read better without Beautymon's insults at Zoe. Reminder of the whole Respect and Rivaly issue)
And great backstory, although I think it would've been better if you actually written out the whole thing as a flashback. It would've been very intriguing to see what kind of digimon Arcimon was before he turned bad. Explore his relationship with Eldestmon (their frienships as well as their quarrells).
There is so much I want to know about the bad guy because when you humanize a villain, it makes them that much more connective with the audience, instead of a "bad guy we must destroy because he's evil" trope. I wanted to see his flaws, his tragic downfall, and the slowly losing of hope to save him from Eldestmon's POV.
I think you missed a great opportunity for character development with Malvomon's intro.
(Again, Beautymon's remarks just make me cringe, and the feels so unwarranted.)
I do like Zoe standing up for herself, but supporting Zoe just feels too easy. Like it doesn't have the impact as you could've had if Beautymon wasn't so public and frequent with her insults.
Sadly since it is a common theme, I might have to mention it every review. But I'll try to limit it.
Here is a 10 for you: When Eldestmon was scolding both Zoe and Beautymon, you had Beautymon look at him "innocently asking, "you say something boss?"
It's that kind of two-face charm that makes Beautymon so appealing. She's all friendly and beautiful to everyone else, but she only shows her bad side to Zoe. I hope you continue to play that more as Zoe would feel more victimized because not only is she on the recieving end of Beautymon's bad side, but it would hurt even more if no one believed her.
Great way to end it, fianlly giving the two heroes a mission that would put them on the path to help save the digital world. I feel many of these chapters are going to be deja vu. but I hope to read some form of originality to it.
Overall, this chapter would've been great but missed opportunities and poor character display make it rather hard to enjoy. Your previous chapters have been stronger, you still do great with descriptions and action. But continue to work on character development and interactions.
| The CL Next Door chapter 4 . 11/16/2017
i love how Neemon asked where Hawaii was. Excellent!
I also love how Takuya and Zoe were trying to call their friends. The digital world is in danger, and needs their heroes to save them. but you gave us three very hilarious ways that told the two that they were on their own: Tommy's brother antics at the lake, the sibling rivalry with their fellow bandmates watching, and JP's grandma answering the phone and mishearing Zoe's name? All priceless and really well done.
I like how the new evil devices now make innocent digimon turn evil. It's a concept that many fans of the show are familiar with. But this one just feels more intimidating, maybe because it's so vastly and artificially produced. Maybe the fact that it blankets the digital world in darkness just after one attack. And the fact that it comes out of nowhere makes the reader want to know more about this new entity.
Agreed with the reviewers: Perfect way to do the Digimon Analyzer
I love how they first enter the digital world and immediately, they find themselves in danger. Frist by the two dragon digimon, then even once they escaped that, they meet up with Golemon. And now they get first hand experience of what the dark spheres can do. I love how you not only jump right into the action, but you use this to give the characters a taste of what they have to fight against. And to make things even better, you've raised the stakes by having Takuya and Zoe not have their spirits with them. Really intense stuff and well executed this time.
Be careful with grammar errors. This was told in the Normal POV and I see plenty of "my" "myself" and other subjective POV words.
Now I'll be honest, I'm a little torn with what Golemon and Gorrilamon did to the kids. Yes I know they are legendary warriors, but fighting without their spirts, and taking such a beating as normal humans was painful to read. Not saying that it's a bad thing. You've added a layer or darkness and grit that I really enjoy reading. But it is a little disturbing when the ones on the receiving end of it are just kids who just got into high school. Although I do not condone such actions, I think bad guys beating up on good guys (regardless of their age, gender, social staus, etc) is extremely bold and if written well (as you have done) can leave such a powerful impact on the story and the antagonists. I think i would've liked to see a fractal ring surround Zoe before the save to add that element of danger. But it was still good.
Ah, Swiftmon and Beautymon. two great new characters and though the appearance is brief, you captured their personality well. I can't wait to see their development and their role in the story as we progress.
Ususally, the show picks up the action within the first 1-2 episodes. This one didn't start until the fourth. Though pacing is in question, when it was time to deliver, you did. Very nice.
| The CL Next Door chapter 3 . 11/16/2017
Once again, your descriptions paint the most beautiful of pictures. It is clearly your strong point in this story. The way you described Zoe cook her signature lobster risotto made my mouth water. I could just picture it in my head, and taste it in my mouth. Superb job. And to make things better, I LOVE how her mom comes into this and teases Zoe, asking who the special guy was. Even though Zoe tries to brush it off, that small part with Zoe's mom made the opening to this chapter very very special.
The flashback scene was very cute. Loved how Koji teases her about her "competition" to try to lighten her mood. Takuya's love interest does seem a little cliche cookie-cut: the hero falling for the most perfect girl in school. I think it would be better if she wasn't a selfish, manipulating character and that she's genuine to Takuya. That way, the audience can still cheer for Zoe, but character development wise, it would tear Takuya apart between her and someone who really REALLY like him back.
But the flashback is clearly the highlight of the chapter: You have Zoe who clearly has a want (Takuya) but has an obstacle standing in the way of getting what she wants. And to see her summon the courage to sing, to fight her nerves and the pain of seeing him with another girl, to express how she truly feels about her was wonderful to read about. I loved how gradually got more confident and threw away all fears and inhibitions as she loses her self to the music to the point of crying at the end. You made the reader really feel for Zoe.
I would've liked it if there was no interaction between Takuya and Zoe in the end of the flashback. Remember that Takuya is still clueless to this day. If Zoe sang that song for Takuya and he had little to no reaction from it, it would kill her, but it would also be more truthful. If Takuya knows about Zoe's crush on him, then there is no need for him to be clueless at the end. It just doesn't flow as truthfully. Zoe confesses her feelings and has a cute interaction at the end flash forward sometime later and Takuya is still clueless? I'm sorry, I don't buy that. It doesn't work.
You've nailed Beemon and Bokomon's dialogue and interactions with each other. Spot on.
Remember earlier in my review how much I enjoyed seeing zoe make something simple as gift wrapping and turn it into something special... and now there goes Takuya ripping it up to shreds... GENIUS! Great gifts for him btws. That card was so cute, hits right in the feels.
Again, the whole recall back to the song she sang and how Takuya is such a clueless goggle-head would only work if he didn't know her feelings about him at the end of the flash back. Singing it out loud was her cry, but Takuya hugging her and her crying in her chest was the clear cut giveaway. But it doesn't work like this. Now it just makes Takuya look stupid instead of being clueless and oblivious, and I'm sure that wasn't what you were aiming for.
However, if there is a saving grace for that part, I love how you had Zoe continue to draw out her feelings, giving him subtle hints on how he feels. It's great to see Zoe still struggle to find the courage to tell him how he feels straight up, even a year execution was done poorly, but the description, the feeling, and the depth you put into the characters are all top notch A.
"Izumi"... I see what ya did there. I love it.
My one last gripe about this chapter is that it felt like it dragged a bit. As mentioned, I know you had a word goal you watned to accomplish and hats off to you for doing so. however, there are some parts of the story where it felt you wanted to emphasize quantity over quality. When the quality matches (or excells) with the quantity then it feels perfect. But when it doesn't, it feels like a filler and most readers will tend to skim through it.
Honestly, i felt you could've combined the first three chapters (or chapters 2-3) in one and use that brilliant mind of yours for other chapter ideas.
Still, it was another cute chapter dominiated by feels and emotion, though derailed a little bit in the execution of the storytelling. Solid work, but be mindful of development.
| The CL Next Door chapter 2 . 11/16/2017
I seem to enjoy the Takuya & Zoe POVs more than the normal POVs, simply because it gives us an opportunity to connect with them. We are revealed their inner thoughts and feelings. Their behaviors, their wants and desires. There is something special that you accomplish when you write in their POVs than normal POVs.
Love the dynamic you did with Takuya and his lil bro. We've never seen their relationship truely develop over the course of the series, but to have him give his present, then bail on him right after was great. Not spending time with Takuya on his special day may seem a little heartless, but the dialogue between the two made it very lovable.
Of course, the moment Takuya calls his buds, they were all busy. You just know that this story was gonna be about Zoe and Takuya from the start. Which honestly, I don't mind because they are my two favorite characters in the show (and Koji).
Speaking of which, I adored Zoe's part about her getting ready and fixing up Takuya's birthday present. Near the end of the show, we were given a hint of Zoe's true feelings for Takuya, but it never bloomed into anything. But when we first read about her, we jump right into it. I love how she puts something simple as gift wrapping and uses it to show how much Takuya means to her. It was so cute to see their relationship in the early budding stages.
The phone call is when we start to go down hill a bit. I didn't like how Zoe was rude to Takuya to start. If they truly are "best friends" and after knowing each other for so long, they would probably tolerate little jabs to each other here and there. It's what made their relationship in the show work, because the of the times they do clash. To have Zoe and Takuya act like that to each other just doesn't work and takes everything that they had established before and throws it out the window.
"immature goggle-head child", "Ugly attitude", "OKAY ZOE, I GET IT ALREADY! WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!"
See, it just doesn't work. Even that last one, even to the best of friends, saying that would just be hurtful. I don't mind the playful jabs back and forth but you gotta keep it light and happy, not down and negative.
Granted, i'm sure both Zoe and Takuya were nervous to ask each other out. Asking to hang out with your friend and asking someone out on a date are two different animals. If they were, then their behavior would've been more truthful. But if that was the case, if nerves were affecting their behavior, then I suggest to indicate that. Because there was no clue or inference that they were nervous talking to each other.
It wasn't until when Zoe dropped the phone, that's where things got great again. It was a great choice to have her accidently drop the phone from Takuya asking her out. I wish you would've cut back to a Zoe POV to describe the butterfly feels in her stomach. That would've added spice to this chapter. You did later on, but they whole "not really a date" felt very off.
I feel it was very selfish of Zoe to shoot Takuya down after he asked if she wanted to go out with him because "it wasn't a date". I'm sure she would be more than happy to hang with her favorite person. But it not being a date just makes her picky, selfish, and unlikable. (but you remedy that soon enough). I think that Zoe acting emotional felt forced. It could work if maybe her nerves get the best of her and hangs up before she gives a straight answer, making her feel embarrassed and emotional. That would've worked more than acting like this because it "wasn't a date."
But as I said, you remedied that when she said yes and went to prepare something that make my mouth water just by reading it.
All and all, a good chapter, but I had a lot more nitpicks with this than the first. I want to be able to fall in love with the characters, to relate to them and their struggles. That what makes them endearing and what makes me want to cheer for them to reach their goals. You've done great, then had a few rocky patches. Just tips for next time.
| The CL Next Door chapter 1 . 11/15/2017
For those people who are familiar and love the Digimon Frontier anime, this chapter serves as a great flashback to their previous adventures. You color the narration with personality, telling it from Takuya's POV, a smart choice.
For those people who aren't familiar with the show, this chapter does a great job introducing the main characters of the story, and giving us a brief rundown of the important events of the anime.
I will admit that the 10,000/chapter was a worthy and ambitious goal, albeit, there are times were it felt really draggy. You do a fantastic job with descriptions and that is definitely your strong suit. But it's a double-edged sword in that when it is interesting and engaging, I'll want to read it all the way through. When it feels long, dull, and repetitive (writing for a sake of filling a word quota instead of quality), then I find myself skipping parts of the story.
A recurring theme as I go through each chapter, but looking forward to finally giving you a proper in-writing review.
PS: If you have any questions about anything, you know how to find me. ;)
| Guest chapter 100 . 11/9/2017
Okey possibly one of the best stories i have ever read excellent story some parts in the story bothered me when you used the Lords name in vane but other than that this story was really good possibly a part 2 hint hint have a great day God bless.
| digimonfan101 chapter 100 . 10/1/2017
Still a classic to read after it finished one year ago