|Reviews for Heart of a Lion|
| 221BluePoliceBox chapter 4 . 7/7/2013
aww I enjoyed this (you would never guess I like Weasley twin fics would you?) I felt sorry for George in this I wanted Fred to be more caring to him (I get so protective lol) but I like that it was Dumbledore. I really enjoyed this story and i'm glad that he faced his fear and is able to get back to normal Like I say I enjoyed this!
| mynameishermione chapter 4 . 8/13/2012
| sangkar chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
I loved your characterization of everyone! Dumbledore seemed a bit off at times, but oh well. :/
The dialogue is good, and your narration is good, and I didn't spot any SPaG mistakes from here. You did a really good job with this as a start.
| HedwigBlack chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
This was a great start. I love the dialogue between the twins. they're so much fun. And Wood was very in character as well. "Just as ugly as ever" was cute. I liked the twist of George hitting himself and that for once it was him and not Harry in the hospital wing. Nice job!
| MissingMommy chapter 1 . 5/20/2012
Haha. That was absolutely brilliant. You got both George's and Dumbledore's personalities down perfectly.
I really thought that a Slytherin had hit George in the face. It's funny that he did it to himself.
A minor nickpic: "he gave the him a wink and then returned" - I don't think you need "the".
Overall, very nicely done :D
| HeadlessHuntsman chapter 2 . 4/23/2012
I liked this chapter. The fact you have George concerned and unsure is very well written, Your Dumbledore seemed a little off but he is really hard to get right, I have the most trouble with him and Snape.
| HeadlessHuntsman chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
This was a great start. You had a good grasp of everyone's character with the exception of maybe Dumbledore. He is always a pain to get right anyway. I think you did a good job piquing interest in the rest of the story.
| chewinggumandpencils chapter 1 . 2/24/2012
I think that you captured George's thoughts quite well. However, it really reminds me too much of things JKR has already written. I really don't think Dumbledore would go visit every student that lands in the hospital wing.
Other notes: when does this take place? I couldn't really tell.
There was a part when you said "Beater" and meant to say "Beater bat". A little bit after that, you said "has" and meant "as".
You also did a god job of showing Fred and George's relationship. Others show them as way over the top when they're together, but I think that their over-the-top-ness is subtle and between the two of them, like it is here.
| Madam'zelleGiry chapter 4 . 1/14/2012
I really liked this fic. I thought that it was a very original idea to have George suffer such an uncharacteristic fear and I really loved the way that Dumbledore was there to help him out. You write both of these characters very well and I'm impressed. Thank you so much for sharing and well done!
| Someone aka Me chapter 1 . 12/7/2011
This is quite intriguing. You've made me very curious!
It's well written, as well. Wood is very… Well, he's very *Wood*, so nice job with characterization on all of them, but him in particular.
I noticed, though : "George, along with the rest of the team, slipped in to his Quidditch robes and left the change room." : This totally might just be a regionalism, but I've never heard "change room", and I even looked it up in my copy of HP and it calls it a "changing room" – but I have the American version. So that could just be one of those things.
Other than that small thing that might not even be an issue, this is really quite a lovely start.
| toavoidconversation chapter 4 . 10/25/2011
Well done, a fairly satisfying ending! And it didn't feel rushed or anything :) the pensieve was a great idea, and I am hardly surprised Malfoy was involved :P
One thing, "But what if Malfoy tries another trick like before?"
Why would Malfoy do that? They're playing Ravenclaw...but I guess if you mean from the stands, just to stop Gryffindor winning the Cup (although he would then be better off targeting Harry).
But anyway, thank you fro writing, and recommending, I would never have read it myself otherwise, because I would never think to look under this pairing and genre :)
| toavoidconversation chapter 3 . 10/25/2011
Ah, an interesting development, agoraphobia. Yeah, that seems feasible, although I am surprised again at Dumbledore being so direct...he is normally a bit more vague.
Still, you put across George's fears very well, and I am excited to see if he gets over his fear and how!
| toavoidconversation chapter 2 . 10/25/2011
While still good, Dumbledore was a little direct in this bit, which felt a little OOC...
"Hmm...I wouldn't think a Gryffindor would have to think about getting back up on that broom and giving it another crack," Dumbledore continued, not hearing the hesitation in George's voice. "The Sorting Hat placed you in Gryffindor, because of your bravery, did it not? Godric Gryffindor's symbol is a lion, is it not? Lions are brave, are they not?"
I would have thought Dumbledore would have put this point across but in a bit more of a subtle was so that it was more of a riddle, to get George thinking...
But anyways, I still enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing if George can get over his new fear... :)
| toavoidconversation chapter 1 . 10/25/2011
Well, this is a curious beginning! Why on earth would George hit himself? Very odd indeed, and intriguing enough for me to want to read on, so good job on that! My favourite line:
"He was going to fall to his death at a school Quidditch match. Wood was going to be pissed."
That, to me seemed to be quite in character for George xD and Wood would definitely be pissed :P
| Quintessential Dreams chapter 4 . 10/4/2011
First off, I must say, I enjoyed the story immensely. It had humor and it had a well dose of angst, but I also think it held a rather strong message. The message of actually facing what scares you the most. The next comments are going to seem rather jumbled, I had put down comments on a piece of paper and am basically going to be copying them onto here.
Now, I loved your use of Agoraphobia. Instead of using the commonly used definition of of the fear (such as open spaces), it was used as the deeper meaning of an anxiety disorder. Very nice there!
Poor, poor George. I can only imagine his embarrassment.
I also love the relationship between George and Dumbledore. They have this fear between them that bonds them, though I do feel he might have found some solace in his twin. Though, with the way Fred was acting (the whole pink roses from Angelina while giggling like a bloody schoolgirl about George and Angelina), I would have probably stayed away too, regardless of how close I was to my twin.
D'awww! The ending was absolutely adorable. I did feel that some of the characterizations were slightly off. Some of the things Dumbledore said in the beginning were a bit odd... like he wouldn't say it. I had also seen some spelling errors, but mostly in the first chapter. I also noticed some grammatical issues that could have been fixed. Anyways, if you would like to know your score, shoot me a PM and I'll give it to you.
Thank you for entering the competition, the story was excellent.