|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Grangers take on the world|
| Guest chapter 12 . 6/24
| Faded Dreams chapter 5 . 6/17
Okay, this is unreadable. Half-sentences are bad enough. Missing important words, others are used totally wrong, and jumps between past and present tense add to the chaos. But what clinched it for me was your use of "vilify" instead of "verify". Learn the language and try again! And Dumbledore would never say YEAH. Let me guess, you are a young American?
| vale granger chapter 64 . 6/12
I congratulate you for your story, do not feel reluctant or down in front of the people who correct your spelling or something related to the story because many of them may not even write if you feel happy and proud of leading a story with so many chapters.
I hope that one day you will return to the story.
| Gina chapter 7 . 5/8
You may not be happy with your grammar and spelling but it is a nice story. I hope you come back to your writing.
| Veronica McClure chapter 49 . 5/1
Your fingers confused "conservation" with "conversation" here in the last paragraph.
| Veronica McClure chapter 47 . 2/25
Another bit of history of the derogatory nickname for newspapers; in the nineteen twenties and thirties people did used to use their newspapers for toilet paper before toilet paper was made.
| Veronica McClure chapter 43 . 2/25
u put attraction, rather than attention in this sentence?,
| Veronica McClure chapter 35 . 2/25
this sentence could have been written as *This shut up everyone.* Or, *This shut everyone up. up* was unnecessary in both places.
| Veronica McClure chapter 19 . 2/25
Did you intend for Grindelwald's first name to be "Gelbert" Rather than Gellert?
| Wildcatatheart chapter 21 . 2/4
they aren't gryffindors
| Gina chapter 4 . 1/23
I'm enjoying your story. I like that you warned us at the beginning about your grammar, so far it hasn't been horrible for me.
| Gina chapter 2 . 1/23
Didn't Draco use the vanishing cabinet in 6th year?
| Guest chapter 55 . 12/26/2021
isn't it "Igor" Karkarov?
| Guest chapter 2 . 9/2/2021
This was been beta?
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 4 . 9/3/2021
I noticed your notice about a beta. And while I would say it is always good to have a beta, you are not making too many noticable errors -In face, I found more spelling errors in the kindle version of Harry Potter that J.K. Rowling herself must have made, then in your story.
That said, I WOULD sugest you take a short break (maybe a day or so) after you finish each chapter, then go back and edit the chapter again -with focus on more Showing, and less Telling. (Show, don't tell, as every Writing class ever says.)
Your story is very good, but feels a bit rushed -mainly because you Tell what they do, instead of describing them doing it, or Tell what they talk about, instead of Showing it with a dialog.
Anyway... Your story is quite good thus far, and I'm hoping it only gets better. _