|Reviews for Spirited Away 2: The Unfamilar Realm|
| Finally chapter 1 . 3/8
Here I am looking through these fanfics and tons have Chihiro forget everything that happened. I don't want to see a story start like that. But this has a great beginning and lets Chihiro keep her memory good job! :D
| Guest chapter 23 . 9/25/2014
This fanfic is... amazing. Wow.
| chocolaty chapter 23 . 6/30/2014
Thank you for the great fanfiction!
| fangurl axelina chapter 7 . 3/26/2014
Really good and exiting! I'm guessing you've watched death note considering "kira"
| EpicLoric24 chapter 25 . 2/2/2014
Your story is really AWESOME. IT'S SO GREAT!
I just started reading it this morning. I read and finished it for a day. XD
A very amazing story. Thumbs up!
| Savvyzz The Awesome Ninja chapter 25 . 1/30/2014
OMG I WILL TOTALLY GO LOOK AT THIS NOW! :D
| intertwingular chapter 21 . 1/30/2014
What if you made it about Chihiro's kids? Possibly Haku's as well, but IDK if he's alive or dead.
| AirxNamine3 chapter 8 . 10/1/2013
Kyaaaaa omg your story feels like an actual legit continuation of Spirited Away and I freakin love it! It's my kind of story and I don't really read any other fan fictio cuz its always all eww,
but yours is just amazing. I can actually feel Chihiro's character come out and actually feel that she would act that w ay. And for Haku, omg soo freakin cutee I just love it. And the little love rivalry and new characters oli and Heili omg just great! I can't wait to finish the story. It drew me in from chapter 1!
| Yuki Eturna chapter 23 . 8/17/2013
Not sure if you still check this, buuuuuut I'm posting this on the Epilogue so that you might see it, since I know it's been awhile since this was finished
I'm only on chapter 17, but I have to say, I'm REALLY enjoying the plot you have going on, and the original characters are very well thought out. However, from one writer to another, I do have a couple tips:
1) I do like your description of things, but you have a habit of using the same descriptors of individual things within a relatively short period. (Example: when you were referring to the library Oli was in for the first time, you called it massive, then used the same descriptor two sentences later). What I usually do is I grab a thesaurus and see if there's a different way I can convey something similar while also describing something else about it; that not only helps with redundancy of word usage, but also with WHAT I'm describing.
2) I love how you do some scenes from one person's PoV, then start the next section with a different person's PoV. However, switching point of views back and forth within the same paragraph/time frame can get very confusing and muddled. This is why proper grammar usage dictates that a new paragraph should be started when a different person speaks, the subject is moved on to something not directly related to the current topic, or, in this case, the point of view changes. You could do a whole paragraph, for example, of how Chihiro was struggling with herself to keep the wall up after she found out about Haku, and then, in transition to move the scene along, start the next paragraph with how Haku was dealing with it. Also, when you DO start a new section with the other person's PoV, try not to copy-paste; the dialogue would obviously be the same, but describing it differently makes it that much more unique to the new scene.
3) I like how you give references to help the reader understand better what you're trying to convey. That being said, I would avoid bringing in references that are unrelated to the story (Describing Haku's hair with a reference to Kingdom Hearts). Also, sometimes using references is completely unneeded. Describing Oli's state as zombielike before was perfectly adequate on it's own, so there was no need to insert an author's note to refer to Chihiro's similar state earlier in the story. It actually threw the story off a bit, as the flow is broken.
4) One of the hardest things not to do! I myself have a hard time avoiding this, but unless the story is written in a way where it is meant to address the reader, the reader should not be acknowledged ("you know," "you get the idea," etc.)
5) And last, but not least, you should definitely make sure you proof-read everything, if you don't already, or have a friend do it for you, to help with the minor errors that sometimes throw the flow off. Also, this has been driving me crazy! XD You use the term "limb" when the proper term is "limp". ;
That all being said, I sincerely do not want you to think any of this is meant to degrade your story in any way! I am very much enjoying it, and can't wait to finish it. It is merely meant as constructive criticism, from one writer to another, to help you improve :D I myself make these mistakes quite often and have to catch myself, and my friends give me plenty of feedback before I finalize it. Keep up the good work! 3
| kaylaanime1492901 chapter 23 . 8/11/2013
Amazing story. You had me crying from when haku died to the end.
| moon3200 chapter 6 . 6/29/2013
i dont read the authors note really only when i find them funny or amusing.
| Guest chapter 12 . 5/10/2013
Chihiro seems so OCC! D:
But I like the plot! :3
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/9/2013
I personally dislike how you brought in your "OCs" into the story (spirit realm), it really crushed the whole Chiharu feeling.
But otherwise it's a good story.
A few grammar errors and spelling errors but heh that's no biggie
| sa4life chapter 8 . 4/7/2013
haku and chihiro really like each other!
| drawonmoustache chapter 11 . 3/26/2013